I have a crush. I was struggling with myself the whole last day, trying to find a loophole, any excuse to stay. Secretly hoping the flight would be overbooked, there would be a terrible storm, they'd detain me. Anything. I stood in line for an hour and a half, surreptitiously glancing at the Icelandair ticket office, knowing that even if I did walk over there, even if I could cancel the ticket, they'd put the refund back on the creditcard, instead of my pocket, which is where I needed it to be if I were to have any chance of actually surviving. I have a crush on Amsterdam. It sounds silly, but it's the same feeling. A slight giddyness everytime somone mentions it. Daydreaming endlessly. Staring at the pictures I took, even if they're blurry and
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