Geysers, a waterfall, Icelandic overcharging and numpty Brits all in one splendid day

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The day began in the morning and went right through to the night time. Before 9am I had already marked one person out as my potential peckerhead of the day. It's only 11am now so there's plenty of time for that to change.

Alarms went off early and we had a bit of time to get ready and have breakfast before our pick up to go on the Golden Circle tour. The minibus arrived on time and we picked up a few other tourists before hundreds of us congregated at Reykjavik Excursions' depot. There were a hell of a lot of buses there ready to take people on various tours in various languages. Tourism really has taken off in a big way thanks to the financial crisis that's for sure.

As we boarded the bus some numpty was putting his luggage up on the overhead shelf and blocking people from moving up the bus. And he took ages, tucking every last strap in at least thrice while people huffed and puffed and tutted behind him. I say people, it might have just been me. And Claire.

He finally sat down and Claire sideswiped him with her tripod as we went past. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking. Peckerhead contender number one.

We set off on our tour and our guide Elizabeth told us some interesting facts about the country as well as outlining the day's itinerary. Unfortunately she had quite a monotone voice and Claire was asleep before we got out of Reykjavik. I had a nap as well before we reached our first stop which was a greenhouse farm growing tomatoes and cucumbers. We managed to get over the fact that the Icelanders say tomato incorrectly i.e. the American way. The things we have to put up with!

Oh hang on she's just said yoghurt wrong as well. That's too much now.

They had some splendid tomato soup for sale with some lovely fresh bread and we both partook whilst listening to a talk by the owner. After taking some pictures, looking at some bees and seeing the first person to slip over of the day we got back on our bus. Elizabeth then informed us that if we see ice it will be slippy. Genius.

She is actually very pleasant but things don't come across too well on the mic. Our next stop was geyser country and the place where the Geysir is that gave us the word. Now that Geysir is an old geyser and a bit lazy in his old age meaning he can only be arsed to erupt every now and then, sometimes months apart.

Fortunately Strokkur geyser spouts every few minutes and we managed to catch a few spouts of water shooting up into the air. The steam rising from the ground is amazing to see too, especially as it was surrounded by ice and snow.

We wandered around a bit, took the obligatory pictures of Geysir and then headed back. Claire wanted to be the last on the coach so I walked ahead and was behind Strokkur when it went up. By the time the water landed and showered me it was cold. Very cold. Better than burning me I suppose but my hair was soaked, my cameras were soaked, my trousers were soaked...well, you get the picture!

Luckily the bus is quite warm but the journey was a short one and we were soon getting out into the cold again. I even put my hood up and expected some praise from Claire for being sensible but....oh no....I killed myself laughing when I got a rollocking for not putting my cap on! And here's me thinking I'd done something right!

This stop was the Gullfloss waterfall, voted by Lonely Planet as one of the top ten most interesting waterfalls in the world no less. And I can see why. Crystal clear waters cascading through icy banks makes for something wonderful and hopefully some fantastic photos. You never know.

The paths were sheer ice in parts but people seem to be getting the hang of walking on it. In the distance there was a glacier-did you know they hang out on land as well as floating about a bit? Yes they sit there all regal and there are some ginormous ones chilling out in, or on, Iceland. I guess the country lives up to its name.

Claire achieved her aim and was last on the bus this time but missed out on the telling off the people who were three minutes late last time got as she was only a minute late. We are now heading through some incredible scenery (and yes I do keep looking up at it!) with farms dotted amongst the green which is itself dotted amongst the pure white snow. The sun has popped its head just over the horizon and my trousers are dry. It's all good.

Later now and we have just been to the final stop on our tour which was Pingvelle (although the first letter is supposed to be an Icelandic one where the curve is halfway down the stick. To pronounce it you put your tongue between the teeth and spit at the person nearest you. If you get your cat to hiss at you while you throw wet water in your own face you're about there).

Anyway, Pingvelle is a narrow gorge between two continental plates which you can walk through. On one side is the North American plate which is big and brash whilst the European one on the other side is smaller and quite timid. There are lakes and snow and the sun setting behind snowy mountains so it's well worth a visit.

Make sure you've had a toilet stop somewhere else though as it costs £1 to use the loo....yes a whole pound even if you just want a pee! Never have I seen a credit card machine available just to go to the crapper! I was so angry I didn't go despite being quite desperate. (I was going to say I did a dirty protest but I thought you might believe me and stop reading....)

Back on the bus now and thankfully it's only 40 minutes back to town so a toilet isn't too long away. We have just been told that the Northern Lights tour is ON for tonight. We probably still won't be able to see anything or get a decent shot of them if we do but at least we're getting the opportunity to try! Hopefully the news that the tour is on will cheer up peckerhead from last night.

OMFG Talking of peckerhead from last night....we just met her other half in reception and I have to say that I am extremely angry. I was up to date with my blog and now I have to waste my own time writing this next bit because I have a brand new pair of peckerheads for the day.

After the tour bus dropped us off the street below our hotel and not outside it, I was still okay. It had been a great tour and well worth the money so, hey, a little aberration at the end, what the hell.

But then, THEN, peckerhead's partner is in reception and two women come down the stairs and he asks them what they've been up to today.... My fingers are slamming on the keyboard with rage as I build up to their answer which was....wait for it....'nothing, we've just been vegging out watching telly all day.'

FFFFFFFFFFSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

You're in Iceland! There is so much to see and do, the weather has been fine, why the hell have you been in your room watching bloody Letterman??? Claire blames Groupon for letting those sort of people get here. They shouldn't be allowed out of their own houses never mind out of Britain!! They don't deserve to have enough money to even afford a Groupon offer here and if they're on our Northerrn Lights tour tonight I'm going to struggle to keep my mouth shut.

The conversation turned to how to get extra channels on the TV.....I walked out and held my head in my hands knowing they had just wasted about five paragraphs of my life and a number of future conversations telling people how wound up I am right now. Thank you very much scumbags. Now sod off back to your Jeremy Kyle shows and leave these poor Icelanders alone.

Grrrrrr......

Anyway, after a bit of a rest we set off on our Northerrn Lights trip and, with no fanfare, we didn't see any. I may have caught a bit in the corner of a couple of my pictures but....I'll need to see them on a computer screen to see if the bits of green might actually be a bit of aurora borealis. Our guide had told us she'd seen them start briefly so it may be them. We certainly didn't see them but hey, again, we had a good time anyway.

The bus took us to a place in the middle of nowhere where the light pollution was zero so we could see millions of stars. And, as we don't often get the chance, we decided to do some astrophotography while we were there. It was a bit cold but not massively. I put my thermal hat on and finally got the praise I so richly deserved. Mind you, Thermal Man had put in an appearance earlier and he got compliments so I can't complain. Crowds had gathered outside our hotel room hoping to get a glimpse and then wished they hadn't. I did warn them!

We spent a good couple of hours out in the cold in the middle of nowhere and many people hadn't brought a tripod let alone a decent camera so they sat on the bus for most of the time. At least the tour company offer you a return trip for free if you don't see the Northern Lights. We've had one cancelled tour and one failure and we go back tomorrow so Norway will be our next try to see them.

Next time we come to Iceland it will be in the Summer, see I told you we'd end up wanting to come back. There should be no Groupon peckerheads next time which will help my nerves and anger management. I've avoided mentioning the peckerheads that were on our coach tonight to keep things light and because they couldn't outshine those two pillocks from earlier. Just think, those numpties vegged out all day and then went out and probably just sat on their bus all night....I feel a bit better now.

I doubt there'll be a blog tomorrow unless something amazing happens on the way back to the airport or someone annoys me obviously. We leave in the morning and then I have to be back at work at night. Oh deep joy!

It's been a fantastic trip and I'd highly recommend it to anyone with a modicum of intelligence. If you wile away your days watching Jeremy Kyle, stay where you are, there's nothing for you outdoors let alone here. Iceland has lots to see, lots to do and quite a bit that will take your breath away. The people are great and they all speak English excellently except for their American pronunciations. If you're coming, and you should, bring plenty of money, thermals and a tripod. You won't regret it.

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