Greasing the loin cloth and other technical terms

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So being new to the whole biking thing I've leaned some important information the past week. Let me break it down into lay cycle definitions.



Cycling Shorts = adult diaper, loin cloth, the pooped in your shorts look (it's all the rage in France) the never, ever, ever dry once wet shorts....



Bibbed Cycling shorts = all of the above PLUS never pee without stripping again shorts, bare you butt and chest to the world by the side of the road shorts, and step in and have one suspender between your leg shorts....



Chamois = protective padding in said shorts, needs to be "lubricated" comes in many colors so you don't put on spouses, prevents saddle sores.



Saddle sores = burning painful sores that develop in "chamois" area of the cycle shorts...



Chamois Cream = applied liberally to prevent saddle sores. Also referred to as greasing the loin cloth. This creates a cool to creepy wet/slimy feeling when sliding oneself into the shorts first thing in the morning.



Clip in cycling shoes = dangerous dismounts, pavement greeting and last but not least car mirror kicking (ask Rolande to explain).
These are just the basics. I'm sure that more experienced cyclist can add much more t. The list!

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