My Exploits In Estonia

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Everyone we had talked to about Estonia had told us only good things about it - namely, things are cheap, the chicks are hot and the nightlife great, an undiscovered diamond in the rough. So needless to say we were keenly anticipating what may be waiting for us in Tallinn.

Our ferry to Tallinn was going to be something a bit different - we were going to take a hydra-foil, which is basically a tanked-up inflatable raft that goes very fast. OK, so it’s a bit more than an inflatable raft, but you understand the principle.
However, given the relative size of the boat and the fact that it has to cross the Gulf Of Finland, the ferry only leaves weather permitting. And sure enough at 11am, check-out time from our hostel, I got a text saying our hydra-foil was cancelled.
We decided to go down to the waterfront anyway, to see if we could get some sort of other transport to Estonia. Luckily, the Linda Line had a good backup policy that allowed us to travel the sturdier but just as quick Super Cat for no extra charge, about an hour later.
Unfortunately for hungover Davies however, who must've had a few more 1€ beers than I had thought the night before, the boat was not quite sturdy enough, as I didn’t see him for 40 of the 45 minutes the journey lasted. It must’ve been pretty bad for him, as I wasn’t hungover, but would start to feel nauseous if I didn’t keep my eyes closed on the way over. Lucky the journey was only 45 minutes I guess.
One thing I did manage to do during those 45 minutes was change my money. Interestingly, the Estonian Kroon is fixed in value and is always 15EEK for 1€.

The Academia Hostel was highly rated in the Lonely Planet, which was why Davies decided to choose it. Located right next to the university campus and it's amenities, it seemed like a good choice. It was however, quite a way out from the old town, where all the action is, and the ferry terminal. After a bit of a walk from the ferry terminal, we got on the right trolley bus.
Make no mistake, Estonia is Eastern Europe through and through, and the bus reflected this as much. Creaking it’s way through suburban Tallinn, this old warhorse must’ve seen at least 40 years of service. However in saying that, the Tallinn bus system is cheap, on-time and efficient. For us tourists, there is even a screen up the front of the bus telling you what the next stop is. One ride is 10EEK - or NZ$1.20 for as far as you need to go. Stagecoach anyone?
While cruising through the streets of Tallinn, it was quite noticeable that the quality of life over here is not quite what the Finns enjoy on the other side of the Baltic. Endless rows of run down, multi-storied apartment buildings, this was probably the poorest place we have been to on our trip. And this seems etched on the faces of the people here too. There seemed to be a lot of casinos and suburban gaming houses as well, which in my opinion just isn't right - how can you feel good about taking hard-earned money away from the poor?
When we finally got off the bus about 25 minutes later at our stop, we find ourselves in the middle of whole lot of said apartment buildings and our hostel wasn't in sight. We walk into one of the apartment buildings that Davies thinks is the hostel but there are no signs anywhere saying that this is the hostel. The old lady Davies talks to in the apartment building confirms that this most definitely is not the hostel. I then decide to follow the numbers along the road I think is our road, and about 10 minutes later we see our modern looking hostel sticking out like a sore thumb.
After checking in with the cute but unhelpful girl at the reception, we settle into our two-bed dorm, complete with TV, a private kitchenette and a bathroom, that we share with another two-bedroom dorm. So for about basically 14€ a night we have what is basically a private twin room - no wonder Lonely Planet recommends it. However, the location is quite simply awful. Stuck out in the middle of nowhere, miles away from town and in ugly surrounds.
We then thought we'd check out the university, and maybe grab a cheap meal at the cafeteria like we did in Helsinki.
Except this university was almost non-existent.
Firstly, it was a polytechnic rather than a university, and it only consisted of two blocks of offices for teaching staff. There didn't seem to be a lecture hall or any students, let alone student amenities in sight. The rest of the surrounding buildings were private offices and warehouses. The only thing that seemed to resemble a food outlet was a lunch bar thingy with a sign saying "pood" which was closed anyway. It was like being stuck amongst all the factories and warehouses in the middle of Otahuhu or East Tamaki.
We then discovered that the nearest supermarket was about three or four stops away on the trolley bus.
By this stage we just couldn't be bothered, and were grateful we bought so many Lion bars on the ferry from Stockholm to Helsinki. We were both tired enough to sleep through our hunger and Davies was quite badly hungover, so we weren't going anywhere that night. So I retired to bed in my concrete decorated room, my iPod if you can recall, stripped of all it's music. What a miserable start to our stay in Estonia.

Thankfully the next day was better.

Getting off the trolley bus and into the old town, the first thing we notice is the complete contrast of the old town, and the suburbs from where we came. With cobblestoned streets and mostly medieval buildings with a few Russian baroque beauties thrown in, I was absolutely stunned by how beautiful the old town was. With the delightful autumn colours in the mix as well, I thought that this was the most beautiful place I had seen on this trip. In hindsight however, although the old Tallinn quite rightly deserves to be called beautiful, the grim scenery I had witnessed the previous day probably played with my judgement a little bit. It was also funny how there seemed to be no locals walking around the old town, only tourists. Nevertheless, in my state of awe I was keen to start exploring this medieval paradise.
The first sight we came across was St. Nicholas church, which was right next to a tidily-kept park area, which combined nicely, elements of old and new.
Like almost every old town in Europe, Tallinn's has an old stone wall around it. Most of it still remains, and a part of it we came across still had the wooden ramparts along which the old wall guards would patrol. There are also numerous towers in the wall that are still standing. One of the towers is called (no joke either) the Kiek In De Kok Tower. Ouch. I would've hated to have been stationed at that tower.
We then came across probably the most beautiful area in the old town, and arguably Tallinn's most beautiful building, the Alexander Nevski Cathedral. Comparable in every way but size, to the main cathedral in Helsinki, the Alexander Nevski is yet another prime example of fantastic Russian baroque.
Right next to the cathedral is the delightfully pink facade of Toompea Castle, where the Estonian Parliament resides. The complex itself is quite extensive and takes up a large part of the area of Toompea, the part of the old town elevated upon a hill.
We then came across a romantic spot with a view, full of autumn leaves and young couples by the Dome Church, before hitting the Patkuli's Sight Platform, which afforded a fantastic view across the city.
We then made our way into the old town square where the old town hall and Molly Malone's Irish Pub reside - somewhere to watch tomorrow's All Blacks vs Scotland match and the Manchester United vs Chelsea match simultaneously. Other more sightworthy features of the main square include the "Bread Passage" and the old town hall pharmacy.

All this sightseeing really builds up an appetite so it was time to find a cheap Estonian eat. Unfortunately, even the restaurant prices in Tallinn these days have fallen victim to tourism, and therefore anything within the old walls was expensive. So we then decided to venture outside the walls for dinner.
Outside the Viru Gates to the old town, about a block away, are a group of flash, glass skyscrapers that provide a modern edge to this ever-more fascinating city. Three different areas in one city where the contrast between old, new, rich and poor could not be greater.
The modern buildings also serve as a reminder of Estonia's technologically modern economy. Perhaps surprisingly, Estonia is one of the most technologically progressive nations when it comes to IT development. So advanced are the Estonians that you can do just about anything online here. Estonia in fact were the target of a recent Russian cyber-attack on their governmental systems following a feud between the two countries (Estonians hate Russia by the way), which severely threatened the Estonian economy. Skype, was also invented in Estonia - part of their offices were in the block of buildings near our hostel.
Anyway we settled on a restaurant called the Caravan Cafe, a kind of Sahara-themed restaurant, complete with singers singing what seemed to be traditional Estonian folk music. The man at the door couldn't speak any English, and our young waitress could only speak a little, so we knew we had stumbled across a local joint. Thankfully, the menus had English translations although I couldn't tell you what I ordered because I can't remember. Obviously, that means the food couldn't have been that fantastic, but couldn't have been very horrible either.
The big table behind us seemed to be having one long celebatory feast as large plates of mainly seafood kept coming out. Looked like a family do of some sort, but the main focus of our attention were on the absolutely stunning women who were sitting there ;-0
The local restaurant guide lists many of the places in it as "restaurant/bar/clubs", and at the Caravan Cafe, we could see why. Most of the patrons, who were middle-aged, were dressed up in suits and evening dresses and once the Estonian version of Louis Armstrong got up to the stage for a few songs, just about everyone in the restaurant got up to have a dance, young and old alike. I don't know if this is a traditional thing or not, but nevertheless everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. However, when ol' Louis left the stage to be replaced by a female singer, the dancefloor was suddenly deserted. She wasn't feeling the love at all from this crowd.
The food was reasonably priced as were the drinks - a double shot of Hennessy XO Cognac for just under 4€ was too good to turn down and as I sat at the table sipping away at it, I felt like more of a man than 007 ;-D

The party kept going at the Caravan Cafe, but we had to take our leave in order to test out Tallinn's much-hyped nightlife.
Club Hollywood was our destination but even at 11pm, it was still not open, so we decided to kill some time at Kolumbus Kristostomus, a bar that had a warm, youthful and slightly raucous atmosphere. Paying our 90EEK entrance fee, we were padded down before we sampled the local brew, A Le Coq, which was OK but nothing special.
The reason we had to pay a cover charge was to cover the band - they seemed to be quite popular with the locals as most people seemed to know most of the words to every song. I don't know what the band was called, but their rather poppy sound didn't really win me over.
During the band's intermission, the funniest thing happened - London Beat's "I've Been Thinking About You" came on. I don't think I've ever heard that played anywhere apart from Classic Hits 97FM! What a crack-up. So the Estonians have a sense of humour - well I hope they were taking the piss - very impressive.
Also impressive is how cute most Estonian girls are. Every bit as pretty as their Scandinavian counterparts, they perhaps don't quite dress as well their wealthier neighbours across the Baltic. They do seem more shy and reticent than the Scandinavian girls as well. Not that it takes away anything from the fact that most of them are gorgeous though ;-)
One way not to pick a local girl up is to get completely trashed on tequila shots like one guy did. Already staggering as he approached the bar, he then ordered 12 shots which were lined up on a wooden tray. That he managed to get them back to his table intact was nothing short of a miracle. About 30 minutes later he was back at the bar barely able to open his eyes - I was amazed that the bar staff still served him. His mates who were also close to Hammertime, helped him out of the bar just before we left at around 12.30am.
Just as we were about to leave, a drunk, middle-aged man approached me, and put his hand on my arm, while looking at me with intent.
"Haha, you look so scared", he laughed.
That's because I was.
He then told me that he was gay as if he wasn't obvious enough before and started to ask me about where I was from and stuff, before going on about how he's been to New Zealand and how much he loved it there.
That was my cue to go to the bathroom, make sure he wasn't following me there, before taking off out the door :-D

Arriving at Club Hollywood at 1.30am, the club was finally open.
It was a pretty big club with two levels, playing mostly trancy music that I didn't recognise. There was a stand just inside the front door, that was advertising "Vodka Shot & Red Bull - 30EEK". Vodka Red Bulls for 2€? I quickly went up to the stand to get one, only to discover that they weren't quite selling what they advertised - I got served a plastic shot glass of vodka and Red Bull. Man, I got served alright - what is the point, honestly.
And we weren't really feeling the love from the Estonian girls either, as every girl we tried to talked to would smile shyly, before turning away.
Then downstairs, we saw a guy who was admittedly hammered, approach a girl and ended up being pummelled by her! She was seriously smashing the crap out of him! We figured maybe he felt her up or something, but this was brutal. Later on, Davies said he saw the guy in toilets and that he was pretty cut up and bruised. That kind of put us off being sociable for the rest of the night. We weren't really feeling the music either - I think my trance days were seven years ago. Darude for life! ;-)
So we decided to call it a night.
On the way out the Viru Gates, we noticed that the florists were still open at 3.30am. Either they are selling more than just flowers, or Estonian guys are very romantic ;-D
We were lucky that we asked the girl at our hostel reception how much a taxi ride to town costs, as so many cab drivers that we offered 100EEK to were asking for 150EEK, before we found one guy honest enough to take 100EEK.
On the way home, I noticed that the traffic lights were all flashing yellow, meaning that you can just pass through them if it's safe - a great idea considering how many times you've been stuck at an unnecessary red light in a taxi at three in the morning while your fare keeps going up.
So not a great night - we arrived back at the hostel in the coldest temperatures we have experienced on the trip, and thought perhaps that the Estonians were just as cold as their weather.

We got up pretty late the next day, and went into town around 4pm for another walk through the beautiful old town before heading to Molly Malones to catch the rugby. Unfortunately for us though, all 7 TVs in the pub were showing Manchester United vs Chelsea. I didn't mind so much being a United fan, so I throughly enjoyed United's controversial, but deserved 2-0 win. Scotland have never beaten the ABs so it probably wasn't worth watching anyway. Davies took off at halftime in the football to find a place showing the rugby and came back reporting a 40-0 hiding of the Scots.
After an enjoyable pub steak, we headed back to the hostel.

Although a fascinating place with so many completely different sides to it, and having one of the most beautiful old towns I have seen, I can't really say that I thoroughly enjoyed my time in Tallinn. Perhaps it was the cold weather, the people, our hostel surrounds or perhaps even our heightened expectations, but I felt a bit down here. For the first time on this trip I thought perhaps that it's time for me to stop travelling. I was very much looking forward to getting back to to London to recharge my batteries for a couple of days.
But for tomorrow, it was back on the hydra-foil to Helsinki.

So until then...

Nägemist!
Derek

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Photos

Alexander Nevski Cathedral
In my opinion, the highlight of Tallinn.

Patkuli's Sight Platform
Stunning view across the old town. The white church spire is Tallinn's tallest church, St. Olav's.

Tallinn's Modern Skyline
Just outside the old town, these glass skyscrapers provide a complete contrast to the age of the old town, and the relative poverty of the suburbs.

Dome Church
Spire of the Dome Church taken from beneath the trees of a romantic little spot overlooking the old town.

The Streets Of Tallinn #1
Typical street in the old town near the Alexander Nevski Cathedral.

St. Nicholas Church
The first sight we came across in Tallinn's old town.

Park Near St. Nicholas Church
Tidy and nicely designed park space that provides a nice contrast with the medieval facade across the road.

Toompea Castle
Pretty in pink, just opposite Alexander Nevski Cathedral. Where the Estonian Parliament sits.

Old Town Wall
Complete with the old ramparts that old wall guards used to patrol on.

Wall Towers
Towers that are part of the old wall near the Alexander Nevski Cathedral.

The Holy Ghost Church
Spire of the Holy Ghost Church in Tallinn's old town.

Old Town Square
The main square in the old town.

Old Town Hall
Located in the main square of the old town.

Who Is That Handsome Young Man?
Taken from Patkuli's Sight Platform. Just to prove I was there ;-)

Back Of Toompea Castle
From the bottom of the hill, on the other side of the pink facade. Estonia's seat of power sits imposingly above it's capital.

The Streets Of Tallinn #2
Another typical street in the old town.

Comments

[Martin]

Cold as hell
Nice story! Im from estonia and I really loved the story, everything is true btw. But estonians are not so cold as our weather. We like to party everywhere, like Tartu, Pärnu, Viljandi, Rakvere! Tallinn is not so great place to partyng :D sorry for my english :p

[Ron]

Nice story! I m from estonia. Thanks for visiting us. But were not so cold like our weather you just went into wrong places to party. Yeah hollywood is great club but the real action is in Nimeta baar, Levikas or Hell Hunt. There the people are more friendly and active.

[kats]

Im from estonia too. And I think that Tartu is better place to party, cause Tartu is university city and students are more open friendly. And of course it depends on a club, where are you going. Club hollywood is usually full on selfish chicks....

[Rajiv]

Thank you for that truly well written narrative that made one get a fair idea of how Tallin would appear to a first time traveller!!