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Published: November 5th 2012
SK3000
This is the latest in the line of Spider Killers, the SK3000. May take a few tries, but it gets the job done and keeps you as far as physically possible from the spider while still being able to murder it.Hopefully, last night was the last of them, at least for a while.
I killed that giant spider that had been hanging out on my ceiling. It's been there for the past 5 nights or so (that I know of) and I had gotten pretty used to seeing it there in the same spot every night, so I was a little bit surprised when I walked up to my room last night and it was gone. There wasn't too much to worry about, as the little (huge) fella sometimes just went up into the ceiling for cover, I guess. You see, my room used to have sky lights in it, apparently. Unfortunately, they took them out and covered the whole roof with corrugated roofing, leaving a gap for the spider(s?) to craw into. I did a quick glance around the area where I had found the other spiders I murdered to make sure it wasn't there, and then looked around the rest of my ceiling. Satisfied, but with flashlight still in hand, I walked over towards my bed.
That's when I saw it.
Only about three feet above where I lay my head, just sitting there, waiting for
Spider Jerk
This is it. The spider that almost ate me while I slept. me to lay down so that it could crawl on my face. That jerk. I wish I could say that I remained composed, but I yelped and ran across to the other side of the room, trying to decide what to do. The bigger the spider is, the harder it is for me to kill. I just don't like the crunchy noises or the... bigness of them. I don't know. Anyway, I somewhat regained my composure, grabbed my Spider Killer 3000 (see picture for details), and stomped that spider. I held the Spider Killer 3000 (let's call it SK3000 for short) on top of the spider for a while, pressing down harder, and then stepped back.
It wasn't dead. It wasn't even fazed. What the heck spider?!
So I went after it with the SK3000 again, and only managed to knock it to the floor this time. Fortunately, I had enough wisdom to move my bed out of the way beforehand, otherwise it would have fallen right into it.
With the spider on the floor, this was my best opportunity. I stomped it again with the SK3000 and it was still freaking twitching! I that awful spider another five to ten stomps just for good measure. Then I grabbed two paper towels, one that I folded over itself so that it was stiffer and could hold the weight of the spider, and the other to cover it up so that I couldn't see it while I walked to the trashcan with it. I threw the spider away, and that was that.
I don't know. Maybe I've angered the spider gods of Panama or something. Just know, if I don't make it back from Panama, it was the spiders. They got me.
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Grandma Linn
non-member comment
HaHa
I'm sorry but I laughed all the way through the reading of your blog! However, I did not laugh at the picture of Spider Jerk. Don't forget--there are treads on your SK3000 and they leave some air spaces (or spider spaces) between the floor and the SK30000. I forwarded your blog notice to us in email that you sent a blog to your Aunt Judy. She is to let me know if it worked. I know she would enjoy reading your blogs. She nor I knew about the beans and toxins. You taught us something. Oh I love you, Emily!