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Published: August 19th 2006
#1. Stray Dogs are not uncommon.
#2. We are told stray children are about as common as stray dogs. If you feed them, they will not leave you alone.
#3. Things like "Hey white girls, we love you!" are heard on a regular basis.
#4. When you go to a soccer game and chant "Hon-du-ras!", you will be made fun of for pronouncing the 'H'. It should be pronounced "Own-doo-rus".
#5. Wearing a Honduras jersey to a game will not make you Honduran. You will still stick out.
#6. Crowds of people will cheer "Asshole" in Spanish to a ref who has made a bad call.
#7. People who pull out their cell phone when you walk by are taking pictures of you. There are many pictures of me out there that I am aware of... probably even more that I am not.
#8. Showers are heated by electricity. If you touch it, you will get a shock.
#9. Random animals will walk down the street. Giant cows with horns (aka bulls) may be wandering the street, with or without supervision.
#10. Donkeys and Horses are apparently great means of transportation.
#11. There is apparently a law about having only 3 people in the back of a pick-up truck. This rule is never followed. The non-written rule is to jam as many people into one truck as is humanly possible.
#12. Apparently having someone show up at your door asking for English lessons that start tomorrow, is not a weird thing, despite the fact that everything else runs on "Honduran Time".
#13. "Honduran Time" means there will be a slight delay. This delay may vary anywhere between 2 hours and 2 weeks.
#14. Apparently a group of white people automatically lets people know we are teachers at Escuela Bilingue Honduras.
#15. Phone numbers are relative here in Honduras. You may not be given the correct one, and therefore new made friends may not call.
#16. Bags of coke (cola), and bags of water, are very common, and are apparently not as funny to locals as we may think.
#17. Maids will be given to you, whether required or not. They will make your bed, fold your pajamas, and straighten your shoes. However, they will not clean the toilet, shower, sink, or floors.
#18. Security Guards will carry big guns, and will also help you break into your own house when your keys are not functioning, or you are too intoxiated to make them work.
#19. It is common to say "Adios" instead of "Ola" when passing a friend in the street.
#20. You cannot use your bank card at the bank. It can be used, however, at the gas station, one department store, and one supermarcado.
#21. Bags should be left at the front of the store with a counter supervisor, so that stealing will not occur. If you are white, however, exceptions may be made.
#22. Nightly visitors in the form of beetles, or frogs, are common.
#23. If your bathroom smells, it is not from anything you may have done in the washroom. It is simply the smell of sewage backing up in the pipes. When ignored for long enough, this smell will go away.
#24. Only the "pretty girls" will be chosen to march as majorettes in the parade.
#25. Restaurants do not offer vegetarian meals. It confuses them when you ask for the "pollo" (chicken) meal without the "pollo".
#26. Asking a new found friend to find you a pet goat is not a strange request. Nor is naming your goat "Shakira".
#27. Reggaeton songs may be catchy, but when translated, talk of buttholes and nights of sex.
#28. Random men may follow you down a street to tell you how much they love the english language.
#29. Local Newspapers will post pictures of murder scenes, as well as tell you that Colin Ferrel is bad in bed.
#30. Taxis during the day, no matter where you are going within town, will cost you 15 lempira (under a dollar). At night, this price is increased to 20 lempira ($1US).
#31. Refried beans in a bag can not be put into the microwave. The bag contains metal and will spark.
#32. The cool place to hang out after the bar has closed is the gas station. Here you can get chicken, fries, more alcohol, and snack foods.
#33. Many long sentences in Spanish will often translate to 3 words or less in English.
#34. People here have small feet. Finding shoes over size 6 may be a challenge.
#35. Our principal is apparently the best basketball player in Honduras.
#36. Telling men at bars that you are gay, is not a deterent. You may actually have a gay woman ask you for your phone number. Luckily, you will have given her the wrong one.
#37. Grunting is the newest form of flirting.
#38. Dancing at the bars, you will often entertain large groups of men, who are not afraid to sit and stare.
#39. Baleadas are sold for 3 Lempira each, at the side of the road, are surprisingly delicious, and make a great breakfast.
#40. Food from the side of the road will not make you sick. Wendy's Taco Salad on the other hand may leave you feeling gross for 3 days.
#41. There are no driving rules. Vehicles will change lanes around blind coners. They will go extremely fast down winding roads through the mountain.
#42. Walking on the street instead of the sidewalks (which are severely lacking) can be scary. Apparently taping the side of the truck will let them know you are there, and not to run over you.
#43. Rum and Coke is sold premixed, in a can.
#44. Giant, watermelon-sized papaya apparently grows here.
#45. Cheesy Madonna classics can be found on the radio of some taxi cabs.
#46. Selection of bars in town include many karaoke bars, a country western bar, and discos that play lots of techno.
#47. Locals who speak english have usually learned the language while studying in the states. They are very friendly and may either offer to make you a giant plate of steamed vegetables, drive you to a soccer game, or sell you a soccer jersey with made up players on the shirt.
#48. Any other locals who speak english are usually recent graduates of the school you are teaching in. Dancing with said 18 year olds may be an awkward situation.
#49. There are giant man holes in the streets around town. These will not be covered nor marked. Falling down one would be very painful.
#50. Nothing ever seems to be logical. Refer to number 1-49. You just have to go with the flow.
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Kendra
non-member comment
Too Funny
Sarah, that list is awesome, so funny!!! I really want to visit now!!! Have a good weekend.