If I were a book... I'd be not too long - short, if you will - maybe 200 or 300 pages, with a quirky title that has absolutely nothing to do with the contents, like "Don't mess with the swallows", or something. But better. And the book would be delightfully random, and when you get to the end, you will say, "what on earth was THAT about?", but in a good way. Only, some people will hate it with such a passion that they gives themselves a hernia. But the critics will LOVE it. And it will be sold in upmarket independent book shops, and it will keep them afloat through the Internet age. Whenever people come into the book shop, the half-Algerian, half red Indian owner, who wears enormous but awesome glasses, he will recommend
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