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Published: June 22nd 2015
Water Baby
Sihanoukville, Cambodia.Ok. So it's a thought that every traveller has had at one point in their life, especially when they're young, single and feeling vulnerable on the inside. And female. The idea of travelling alone is undoubtedly daunting and, I’m not going to lie, at times I’ve been scared shitless. But something incredible happens when you have the experience of travelling solo: at times when you might feel well and truly lost, other people you meet along the way can make you feel found. It honestly has been amongst one of the best things I've ever done.
Whilst I am still on the lookout for a potential travelling partner (or maybe somebody who I will meet on the road who wants to join me on my adventure and help me fulfil my dreams), there's no denying that travelling solo is incredibly underrated. Various people might consider travelling with people they know to be the best option, but being solo can definitely have its pros.
For example, the first idea I have is an incredibly romantic notion which only has Hollywood to thank: a typical ‘meet cute’. Cue
The September Affair . I love to live in hope, hoping that not planning my
Swinging
Otres Beach, Cambodia. seat number on a flight and leaving that to fate may lead to me meeting somebody who will change my life in some form or another. Maybe they would be somebody tall, dark and handsome, or maybe they would be somebody profound who gives you alternative interpretations of life, or maybe they would be somebody who you wouldn't touch with a barge-pole. Sometimes, I can't help but sit in the airport waiting areas surrounded by people and playing guessing games, guessing who might be sat by my side and praying to God it would not be a parent with a screaming child. I've had my share of all of these, although typically nothing really came of the ‘tall, dark and handsome’ figures, but the most memorable was Peter, a business man travelling to Dubai who took a protective liking to me and gave me free lectures on how to improve my photography business. Plus he also gave me tips on how to butter up the air hosts/hostesses so that triple whisky and cokes were free throughout the entire flight (an invaluable skill for frequent flyers). His kindness warmed my heart and made me feel at ease. I felt ‘found’.
Also, there was one time when I was flying out to Shanghai from some airport in England, probably Gatwick (they all blur into one now), and I saw a daughter and her mother having trouble. They looked lost. Now, the older lady did not speak English and I was having Mandarin lessons at the time. Typically, I am a very social person who hates being on their own, and doing good things without the expectation of reward is a mantra that I try to live my life by, however in the end I was rewarded. Incredibly rewarded. Following on from assisting them with their baggage and telling the older woman where I was sat on the plane in case she needed me on the flight, I left them to themselves and proceeded to wander round the airport on my own, with my first thoughts being to locate a bar and grab myself a cheeky cocktail (obviously)! I was lucky enough to meet a couple with intriguing stories to tell, including one about being held at gun-point in Tanzania and another about falling in love with orang-utans in Borneo. Later on in Shanghai Pudong Airport, I was surprised to find that the little old Chinese lady was waiting for me as I stepped off the plane; she wanted to repay me by ensuring that I got to my transfer safely. Whilst I told her that it wasn't necessary as I knew the airport relatively well, she insisted on helping me. Who was I to turn this woman down? I was touched by her humility in taking fifteen minutes out of her own time to assist me, so I allowed her to lead the way. The biggest reward is kindness.
You will often find that if you are on your own, feeling lost and clueless, locals will help you and will restore your faith in humanity. There was one time where I felt completely stranded in Bangkok: despite meticulous planning, my phone had no connection, I was on my own, had a limited amount of Bahts, couldn't find a cab or tuk tuk (a rare occasion in Thailand) and couldn't speak Thai. As I wandered around, trying to hide my vulnerability, cracks eventually began to show and many thoughts raced through my mind, each of them being the worst kind. Tom Hanks and Wilson from
Cast Away sprang to mind. If it wasn't for a small group of young locals, I may have been stranded in Bangkok for much longer than I intended! Again, their willingness to take time out of their lives to help me feel a little less lost is a memory which will never fade and is a credit to their culture. There, I learned that Thailand really was the land of smiles.
I admit that the previous point may have made solo travelling sound daunting, yet I firmly believe that getting lost is the easiest way to experience new things in life and you learn from them. Your life is enriched, your memory bank bulges and you broaden your perspective. And those few daunting moments are worth it. As I relaxed on a swing on a
beach not too far from Sihanoukville , I learned that the feeling of loss that I experienced from not having a travel partner was one of the best decisions I had ever made. I got to go where
I wanted to go and do the things that
I wanted to do. And maybe if I had a partner, I might not have interacted with the other people the way I did, explored where I wanted to explore or developed these experiences independently. I made these memories. These precious memories are mine and mine alone.
And that is one of the most special things anyone could ever possess.
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Home and Away
Bob Carlsen
Very nice blog...
and you are right about all the reasons for traveling alone. The phrase "meet-cute" also comes up and is explained in the movie "The Holiday." I'm going to have to watch "The September Affair" if I can download it to my Kindle.