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Published: December 3rd 2011
No Air-con
dying off I say taxi, it was more like a truck with the back end cut off with no door and enough sitting room for about 4 people each end, me and D were the first on D’s face turned and said to me “is this it?” I really didn’t by this point “is this what we are going to Bangkok in?” again I was not too sure but thinking in the back of my head surly not. We stopped and someone else jumped in after about 20 minutes driving the taxi was full and you couldn’t even move, D turned to the guy sitting next to me “excuse me, do you know if this is the bus” “No, we are going to the bus stop” I couldn’t help but laugh.
We stopped and everyone got off, there she stood a tour bus, thank god for that, we put our bags on and found our seats with half a bottle of water between us, we realized that we are crap at planning things as everywhere you turned you seen these pro bus goers with their pack lunches and neck pillows. “let’s grab a good seat so we can see the TV” sound
Reading time
Bill mate your a legend came blasting through with no picture, a man’s head popped up and seen the TV wasn’t on, next his full body appeared and started hitting the TV, you could see that every wire was getting pulled, taken out and plugged back in, next thing I flung his hand in the air with a gesture of fuck it, No movie for us then. We decided to sleep in turns fat chance of that happening, now as you can imagine twelve hours on a bus is not that exciting, we stopped once D turned to me “get baby wipes, water, some crisps and chocolate” “no worry’s baby” I pealed myself of the seat and went down the stairs on the bus came off to find an open factory with 5 rows of crap ranging from dried fish to insect crisps, I went round the full place and grabbed what I could.
“There is fuck all out there” I sat the bag down “what did you get?” I opened the bag and there was
Water, tomato crisps which later I found out that they were plan with two sachets of tomato sauce, and a big bottle of cola that
It’s,
we still had about 10 minutes until we left so D went out and I stayed and watched the bags, she came back in “there is nothing out there” tell me something I don’t know. D looked over at the other side of the road just as the engine of the bus started “there is a dam Tesco” just our luck, the next 6 hours flew in (NOT) I looked over to D as she slept with her chin dislodged from her upper mouth tongue slightly on show with a look that she had the common cold as she breathed heavy out of her nose, I thought to myself, it must be love.
The bus stopped and all the lights came on, a man’s voice arose from the bottom of the bus “dawakara” everyone looked at each other while wiping the drwel from their chins, we got up as the door was open, I walked out to find the same guy that shouted up, throwing everyone’s bag on the street, I turned and looked at D “this must be Bangkok”, we had arrived 2 hours early.
We got our bags and about four people from the bus knew
what the fuck
Tomato sauce, your kidding where they were going for the main street, we walked about 10 minutes up the road with bags on and it was hot, what time is it?”, “5.00am”, we turned the corner and the streets were still buzzing from the night before, “I need the toilet” D said, we seen a subway, the rest were going the opposite end, we walked in, unzipped all my buckles, sat the bags down to find there was no toilet in this subway, bags right back on about turn and we were now in the middle of Bangkok ourselves with 12 hours to kill.
“let’s walk down this way” , there they were the golden arch with 24 hrs. Next to it (I’m lovin it) McDonalds no matter where you are there is always at least one, I could not wait to walk into the air conditioned room, I didn’t even want anything to eat, just a seat. We walked in, found a seat, D went to the toilet and I waited. I am still sweating, why? Ran through my head, I glanced around and seen signs hanging from the ceiling and not moving an inch, O no, then I felt a gust
bus got cold
irn bru blanket of air come my way, it was D, there was nothing, this was not good but better than outside. I needed the toilet also so I went to the back where D had appeared from and it lead me to a door leading out the back, I walked out and there was a stairwell and other shops, I walked back in, I walked back out. The toilet was located down the stairs, there was only 2 doors one with a female sign on it and another with a hole and some spray paint, I walked in and it was dead spray paint on the walls, I did what I had to do and left and yes I always wash my hands. I was sitting down and everything was ok, I guess and then D looked round to find a massive rat out the window looking in at us, this was the first but not the last rat I seen in Bangkok.
“How long we got to go”, “Only nine hours left” I could have cried, we sat for what seemed forever and decided to take a walk down the road as the sun was out now and the people
squirrel woman
had to look twice that can’t seem to go home even after the club were disappearing. We walked down and saw the people that were on the bus with us we sat at a bar with them, they all looked how I felt, like a bag of shit.
“How long we got left now”, “Only eight hours left”, now that’s a shift in my eyes, what made matters worse was that, when you are doing nothing else but waiting for the shift to end and every minute seems like an hour so we came to the conclusion as each person was dying off one by one, let’s get drunk. “Garson, I will make this simple, give me alcohol, skip the ice, it waters it down, in fact you can skip the glass if you want and just bring me the bottle”.
“Baby” (hic-up) “what” (hic-up) “Let’s get pierced” (hic-up) “OK”
Now making a decision like this should not be done when drunk and I am glad we were not drunk but hammered as it didn’t seem to hurt at all. I ended up getting my lip done twice as the first one got put in the wrong place and D got
they wave
when you take their photo her nose done, I thought we looked rather good.
“How Long now”, “Only 5 hours baby”, “Are you fucking kidding me on” to cut a long story short we waited looked at the same stalls about twenty times walked up and down the same street that we came onto, I got offered a tailored made suite about (no joke) forty times.
We got to the check in for the next bus we waited there for what seemed forever and then we got told your bus is coming follow me, it felt like an angel came down and whispered the secret of life, I could have kissed her. We walked round with the bags round the corner and up a street, “OK people wait here and your bus will be here soon” an hour and twenty minutes later, yes AN HOUR AND TWENTY MINUTES LATER the bus came. If I could have got that woman I would have gave her one swift kick to the f***y.
During that time waiting on the bus I looked up to see a woman with two squirrels on a chain connected to her handbag with them jumping the length of their chains
on a tree as she waited for a different bus, I must admit I thought I was tripping from the lack of sleep but D confirmed it right enough.
Better prepared for the second bus we jumped to the front and took a side each we had water and food and an inflatable neck brace, fool me once but not twice. This time the TV worked and 2 movies were put on for us. Jonny Depp, D was happy even though it was pirates of the Caribbean three and then RED, I am no movie critic but they were better than a blank TV and passed in some time. As we left Bangkok you could see the water floods that are affecting so many of the people here in Thailand just now.
We stopped off somewhere and we waited for half an hour and yes you guessed it put on yet another bus I had to use the bathroom by this time paid 10 baht to take a wiz in the fanciest out back toilet I have ever laid my eyes on in fact it was that impressive I had to take a photo. I have not mentioned
10 baht
for this no problem it didn't even have a roof D much throughout this part as if being truthful trying to keep away from her as she was (what’s the word I’m looking for) annoyed, no that’s not it, tired, no that’s not it either o yes stinking! Both of us were and it wasn’t good at all so for future travelers, baby wipes are a must, it’s not like we didn’t try to buy them nowhere had them so if you see them get them.
The first boat that I was going to experience was nice enough the waves were high so this delayed our time out at sea, because this was my first time I had nothing to compare it to so I thought this was normal and enjoyed it all rocking back and forth while others turned green, rushed to the toilet and even stuck there heads over board and had a trail of their own sick run from the side of their mouths to everyone that was standing behind them on the top deck. We reached the first island and people got off and more people got on and we set sail again, after an hour or so we had to change boats so bags
on boat loving it
its a seamans life for me off, bags on and yet again we set off, D didn’t look so well and had to go and look at the toilet seat for a short while but after she seen it she was fine again.
The boat stopped, we got off and waited, collected our bags and set off to look for our accommodation, we spoke to a local who advised us it was a twenty five minute walk, “Taxi”
So if someone asks you how long does it take to travel from Chiang Mai to Koh Tao you can turn to them and say two taxis, three buses a ten hour wait in Bangkok, two ferries and your there. It’s a tuff gig this travelling.
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colette
non-member comment
my wee travellers
loving the blog gives me a true picture of what you two are up to and keeps me up to date soooo funny love you both so very much xxxx miss you xxxxx keep having a fantastic time its something to remember for the rest of your lives xxxxx