A Proposal of Marriage?

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My chair seat was wiped free of dust, a new pair of chopsticks were unwrapped and with deference, placed into my hands, the plates of "drinking canapes" were set close by and the first of many Johnny Walker shots were poured. It was all of 9am!

Methinks that Sophat had kept quiet on a few important details, such as my inept caretaking skills, or even my studied avoidance of aquiring any. Had Sophan been aware of these things, he may not have timed his trip from Siem Pang to coincide with my presence in Stung Treng, nor raised the subject of wanting to find a suitable wife. His third.

Sophan is Sophat's biological Father and neither of them have been particularly sucessful in the marriage gamble.. They've both bet and lost twice now, and yet the older, potentially wiser one is eager to try it again. Undeterred, I made fun of the whole marriage experience,, advocating the taking of a lover instead, but when the laughter had subsided, the reason for this drastic measure was made clear.

Unlike Sophat who had gained weight since his divorce, Sophan had made an effort to trim down. His regimen was to take regular exercise, reduce his meal size, while continuing to chain smoke and drink copious amounts of alcohol. This he knew would adversly affect his health sooner rather than later. Like many Khmer men intended to keep a lover and a wife, because their job description includes devoted care of the infirm, incontinent alcoholic husband.

A language barrier exists even when a man and woman share a common tongue. Women are said to talk too much, often about feelings and concepts alien to men, who either pretend to listen and nod appropriately ...or don't! Conversely men conserve language, economizing on words as if they may run out of them one day soon.. So they grunt, and it's up to a woman who cares enough, to decipher the meaning from body language instead.

That fact that Sophan doesn't speak English and neither am I fluent in Khmer, should place us at no greater disadvantage to those in the above scenario, except that non-verbal communication by necessity, would likely foster a homicidal tendency in me.

I dismissed the notion of a jolly Cambodian wedding too hastily because, in retrospect, there would be a benefit to having a Khmer husband, namely the ability to own land and save the thousands of dollars in payment to my Phnom Penh Lawyer for incorporation fees. Entertaining though he may be, his charm comes at one hell of a price ...but then, as many find out much too late, so does a bad marriage!

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