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Published: September 16th 2009
Top of the eve monkeybutts!
So here i sit back at good ol SK House in Chiang Mai - very odd chairs they have here just so you know - super low which would make sense if the Chiang Mai-ans were giants but they are most certainly not of the giant variety! Anyhoo, enough of Chiang Mai giants - hope everyone is fine and dandy - we are back to fine and dandy status thank holy goat!
Think my last bit of blog action was on Friday - Slimey's birthday me thinks... well the very next day we decided to pack our backs and take our pie to Pai - an awesome little hippie town that sits on a small river in the mountains up North. i still wasn't in trekking mode and we were sick of hanging about here day after day - hence we headed for the bus station. The bus ride itself was pretty epic - bit like being on a merry-go-round up and down a mountain - hair pin bend after hair pin bend - awesome when recovering from food poisoning! Not sure how i didn't blow but i made it...just! crazy fun fair ride took just over 3 hours but the scenery was pretty darn spectacular😊 Slime had booked us in at this swanky bungalow place - when we arrived the betty told uis that there were only air-con bungalows left and that 500 baht gets you in...that's literally a third of our budget but as we weren't spending any beans on food or parties for me we figured why the hell not! And good thing we did because that very eve...what does Slime do but munch some sticky rice and 'chicken' all wrapped up in a banana leaf plate from some street-vendor dude and a couple hours later he's throwing cats!! oh dear - so Sime wasman-down and spent all of Sunday in the swanky air-con bungalow bed!! Luckily he was pretty much over it in a day though and is now back to his fine feeding self! The place we stayed in was really cool - right by the river overlooking this rickety bamboo bridge - even had our own little deck place with hammocks etc - good times...
Monday dawned and we were both starting to feel semi normal so we checked out of swanky bungalow pad and headed for Riverview guesthouse - much cheaper and in actual fact even nicer...can't really explain it - just had a lovely atmosphere - could have stayed there for weeks! We pottered about the small town most of Monday - such a pretty place but by george - the hippies were out in force - as were the travelling try-hard hippies! Literally,all the town is, is restaurants and guest houses - most strange! Sime was ravenous by Monday eve and being Sime he was craving a burger - or just any type of Western food... was not keen for Thai-style chicken! So off we trundled to Amido's pizza garden but alas, no Amido could be found...so Slimey hot-footed to the infamous 'Burger Bar' but double alas - that particular bar was closed too! Things were not boding well - we ended up at this one place which seemed to serve a bit of eveything (never a good thing really!) In one final attempt, we both odered spaghetti - such idiots - pretty much 100% sure it was straight out of a can...edible but crap! the Pai-locals must have thought i was one with the fruit bat as the day before (while Slime was dying) i was seen sitting opposite the 'spaghetti' diner munching corn flakes at 1pm!! Was my first meal in days and i wasn't taking any chances - can't go wrong with the flakes!! so yes - corn flakes for lunch and spaghetti for dinner -in the middle of Thailand! Anyhoo - enough about grub...Sime was quite put out though having been dreamt up the most spectacular burgers all day.
But then we woke up and it was Tuesday - hell yes for Tuesday i say! we headed for the scoot hire dudes and boarded us some scoots! Shit i was excited! Having never ridden before, these 2 chaps took us to a quiet road and gave us quite the intensive lesson - this involved riding to the end of the road and back...twice! And that was it! Classic - luckily only complete morons or morons without legs for that matter wouldn't be able to ride them scoots - so off we beetled - into the mountains! Holy goat it was fun, and just when i thought my smile was going to swallow my face - it did because blow me down - i came face to face with a whole herd of Big Stans!! They were everywhere - elephants that is...i almost turned into a legless moron and crashed my scoot i was so excited! We stopped to give them a few pats etc and then we were off again! We were heading for the Thai hot springs which we found in no time but when we arrived we couldn't care beans about the springs - all we wanted to do was ride - and that's all we did do - ALL DAY! i looked pretty classic - as you know i have quite the mini head so i looked excellently ridiculous sporting my giant helmet! As for Sime - well, lets just say we had to scour the shelves for one big enough to squeeze over his immense head... with sime falling on his heed and all every chance he gets, i was pretty amped to bubble wrap the thing first but alas - there was no way i was getting his heed plus bubble wrap in a helmet...so helmet sans bubbles it had to be! Shucks - we had the best fun EVER - that place is definitely in my top 5 of super pretty places - mountains, waterfalls , rice paddies, ele's , cows...shucks! We literally got back to our pad just after 5pm that day - Slime now resembled some freakish lobster - so funny - shame, his wee legs and arms were singed to a crisp - downers when he goes bald - that giant skull stands no chance! We then wandered down to our little spot by the river for some much-deserved sun-downers before trundling off to the elusive Amido's for some top notch pizza. We had our party boots strapped that eve and ended up having a whale of a time and yet again meeting some funny folk along the way - the funniest being Jason the yank/ soon-to-be Buddhist yank! Damn he was funny - Sime at first thought he was a complete show-off knob who couldn't be taken seriously but in actual fact he was just that crazy - completely over the top but a good laugh and a kind soul at the end of the day. We ended up at this place called the Bebop Bar where a cover band were jamming some tunes - they do dig a good tune in Pai - and then out of nowhere they started jamming Billy Talent!! Shit you not - Simey and i went bat shit crazy - my fellow punk rock friends will appreciate and understand that this was pretty darn weird - the rest of you, never mind! it was awesome though!
Shucks I'm getting tired which must mean you guys are surely napping by now...oh how i hope not cause i've saved the best part for last! This very morn - Sime wakes up and true to his colours needs a feed... so where do we go - the Burger Bar! Only Sime can stomach a quarter pounder plus cheese and chips at 10am. Anyhoot - there we are having fat chats with the yank who's taking our order (just to be clear here -i have nothing against yanks - so my yank friends, please don't take offense!) - he starts taking a liking to Gary (who's also obviously joining us for breakfast)... anyway - he asks his name...i duly reply - 'Gary'...he goes quiet and looks a little uncertain... 'Do you know what Gary means in Thai' he finally pipes up... i say no, do tell...to which he replies, 'Gary means whore'!! Excellent - good thing i've been smiling like a badger at every Thai peep i meet, then pointing at my grey anteater saying 'Gary' , 'Gary'!! Classic - slime and i had serious chuckles all through our burger breakfast - Gary...pimping it big in Thailand!!
Right - that's me - i'm super tired, it's hot as hell and tomorrow we embark on a 3 day trek through the jungle!! Hence i need my nap-time...Sime is positively pumped about the 3 day hike - not really, but he'll love it! We get to ride Big STans too plus bamboo rafting etc etc - good thing i didn't make a count down chart though as we've already been set back a week! Anyway - hope you are all pleased as pickles! I'll be back with the jungle blog but for now I'm out!
Happy z's and lots of love...
eM, Slime... and 'Gary'!!
p.s. the cows here are way too skeeeny 😞 ...they look happy none the less though!
p.p.s who knew Sime couldn't walk in slops (flops) - hilarious - going to have to buy him some strap on dorkish Jesus-boots of sorts! At the mo, he's charging around in giant skater shoes (your big green ones Dalie) - damn those things are warmer than my slippers😊
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Rachel B
non-member comment
WHAT?!?!
I nearly laughed my face off to the Gary comment! Always knew he was a dirty little stop-out! Missing you like crazy betty! The office isn't the same without you! And are the locals impersonating slimes "looking through you" stare yet?! I'll see you just now....! Rachel xXx