Death By Toast

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Tina Writes

We had intended on crossing the border into Laos or Cambodia from Vietnam originally but again, discovered it was fairly cheap and a lot less hassle just to fly to Bangkok. We have no desire to travel on 20 hours buses. Been there, done it and I’ve never thought it added to my experience other than in a bad way. We spent a lot of the last trip wishing we could go home while in the middle of 20 stretch and that’s the last thing we want. So we hopped on a place and were in Thailand in no time. We freaked out at the last minute about not having onward travel out of Thailand. I’ve read it’s rare to be asked for it and we weren’t asked last year but it is officially the rules. So we spent the hour before the flight frantically trying to find a cheap bus fare or a cheap flight out that we could use if asked. Eventually I discovered that Expedia have a great cancelation policy that allows free cancelation within 24 hours of the booking, so we bought two expensive flights to Siem Reap for two weeks away with the full intention of cancelling as soon as we were through immigration. We weren’t asked for onward travel. In fact, the immigration officer didn’t say one word to me but Rob got a bit of a grilling. We got through fine though and I cancelled the flight straight away, no problem.

We stood at the bagscalator waiting for our bags to appear and I reminded Rob about us standing in almost the exact same spot last year, green with envy as we watched backpackers collect their packs to start their travels. I wonder if there was anyone thinking that as they watched us ‘pack-up’. We decided to get public transport to the city. We had avoided it last year as we weren’t sure and it’s quite cheap in a taxi but this time we knew the BST system better and we like the adventure. It was quick and easy. A couple of train changes here and there and as we neared our stop Rob shouted ‘look Tina, KAPLAN’. Bangkok Kaplan. Typically I was on a train and couldn’t take a selfie in time L.

We had decided to stay in the same hotel as last year. The Holiday Inn Express. Our love of The Holiday Inn Express started here last year and we now book one whenever we can. They are great hotels. This one is in the middle of everything too and has a McDonalds attached. What more can you ask for? We checked in and they gave us a smoking room. I didn’t say anything because when I booked it, it said smoking so I assumed they didn’t have a non-smoking room. Our experience with being given smoking rooms in the past has not been good. The smell is generally atrocious. Of course it was ATROCIOUS! So we headed back down to carry out the tradition of changing rooms. I think we might have only not changed rooms twice this whole trip! Rob loves to wind me up and make out I am some sort of psycho while all the time being very happy for me to get the change as he stands back shaking his head but loving the better room. They didn’t have a non-smoking room but they changed us to a room they thought smelled better. It was also much bigger. It did not smell better. In fact, I think it was worse. This one smelled like someone had lit a bonfire, but there was nothing more we could do. You get used to it after a while anyway.

One of things I fantasize about when I want something sweet to eat is a place called ‘After You’. We discovered it last year and that was the first place we headed to. Off we went to Central World and headed for the top floor. There it was. Very excited we ordered a Forrero Toast between us and OH....MY....GOD (see photo). I watched other desserts coming out and they looked amazing. Like some sort of cream/icecream/marshmallow volcano. This meant we would need to come back again tomorrow.

Next day we headed to the Forensic museum based in Siriaj Hospital. We had tried to come here last year. We went to a lot of trouble getting to it and when we arrived we were told it was closed on Tuesdays. It was very annoying so we were determined to go this time. We made the same journey. Got the BTS to the Saphan Taksin stop where the river boats start. We had to get the tourist boat again, just like last time as they turn you away from the local boat. I am sure the tourist boat costs a lot more too but I think if you go to any of the boat stops along the river you can get on any boat you want. Anyway, off we went and got off at stop 11. We found the museum without too much bother. We followed the signs mainly and remembered parts. 200 baht each would get us into the forensic museum and the anatomy museum around the corner. I had read about the forensic museum in a blog somewhere years ago. I have a morbid fascination and this place has pickled murderers! It was all very interesting. We even went into the parasite museum. It was disgusting and I was covering my eyes for most of that one. Rob spent the next two weeks avoiding certain meats or swimming because he thought he would catch Tape worms. The was also a section on babies. How they start out and grow from there with actual pickled embryos at various stages. It was weird, sad and fascinating all at the same time. They also had pickled babies with two heads, Cyclops. All sorts. Poor wee things. Unfortunately all of the information was in Thai though. Then we moved through to the forensic bit. They had a whole section on the Tsunami with a lot of very gruesome pictures. Finally we cam e to the mummified murderers . There was about 4 of them each stood upright, all black and gross. There was display cases filled with murder weapons and every type of bullet casing, used bullet casing by the way. Skulls with every type of deadly damage you can think of. Photos of car crash victims and shootings. No photos allowed. I find this very strange. It’s ok to go there and stare but it’s not ok to take a photo. The fact that there are many photos of the exhibits online doesn’t seem to matter though either. I will have to use those pictures to show you.

We then made our way round to the anatomy museum. I have been to the one on Glasgow University and it was much the same. Maybe a bit more. For example they had a male and female, properly pickled. It was difficult to look at their faces as it did feel like they could open their eyes any second. I believe these people donated themselves to the science. There was a photo of a woman on the wall. She had been sliced perfectly horizontally, all the way from her head to her toes and the slices displayed in about 40 cats/resin/pickly thingies so you can see exactly how the body is made up. There was even a vagina in a jar. The only thing missing was ‘Goodbye Horses’ being played throughout the room (Silence of the Lambs).

After the museum we got back on the boat and headed to the other side of the river and onto Khao San Rd. Another place I fantasize about when I’m hungry. Ooooooh the Pad Thai sooo cheap and ooooooh the massages, sooo cheap. Got myself a facial and a full body for £9.60 and they were both brilliant! A Tuk Tuk back to the hotel and after a quick refresh we headed back to ‘After You’ for one of those volcano deal-ee-os. It was like nothing I had tasted before or should I say felt. The texture was bizarre. It was like eating sweet, delicious snow topped with melted marshmallow cream. We decided it was frozen, shreaded milk covered in amazingness. It is likely we will fly back to Bangkok when we head to the islands later on. Cannae wait!

On the way back to the hotel we had a look at the street stalls that line Siam in the evening and we also decided to visit the Erawan Shrine on the way. This is the shrine that some dick left a bomb in a backpack with a bomb in it and ran way. It’s still very much there and busy with worshippers.

This was our last night here. As we had already done the big attractions last years, we had decided to stay only two nights but we wanted to stay for another. We wanted a day of doing nothing and being nice and cold in the nice room watching Breaking Bad so we tried to extend our stay by another night but the hotel was fully booked out. As we headed to the BTS to then to a bus to Ayutthaya, we felt really demotivated but things would quickly get better after all there wasn’t anything to stay in Bangkok for. It’s not as if Take That would be playing their first gig there in 20 years in a few days or anything :’(

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