Did the real ever exist?

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Did the real ever exist?

As Erin and I sat discussing life – as we often do – I stopped and asked her, “Did the real ever exist?”

Now that I am settled in China, it seems as if the search for the real is about as metaphorically difficult as finding the last unicorn (‘The Last Unicorn’ is one of Erin’s favourite movies). What does seem evident, however, is that the errors of humanity defy culture, race, belief and ideologies; in short, humankind is very much the same no matter where you are.

In one of my past posts I suggested the simplicity of the people here, and while that perception is genuine, I realize that it only appears simple relative to the life I knew in Canada. The lives of the Chinese is in fact very similar to Western culture, for here – like in most places – everyone is in a rush to go somewhere, caught up in the desire to have more and become something greater. This, I understand, is the nature of being human, though also its tragic flaw.

As children we have the independence to dream, to see the world as a place shrouded in mystery and wonder, a place where we are free to be and do anything. Then we enter school – our first introduction to institution – and begin the process of assimilation that will structure our lives and drive a wedge between that person we dreamed of being and the person we will become. The play that once was our existence is replaced with the constructs that will define our life.

What happens to that little voice that resides deep within us from when we were young? How is it that we become so a part of a structure, that we repress the child within us? Perhaps as children the world is anything but simple, the difference being that as children we do not know any better; as children we are still unaware that society has placed limitations on the dreams that in the beginning seemed so real.

But every so often, when it seems like the child in us has faded, it returns to remind us that we still have a choice. My inner child made its last introduction a few years ago during a very dark time in my life when I had to face myself, my past and my uncertain future. It was then that I had the good fortune to dream once again; I had been given the opportunity to be and do anything! This time, however, I had the luxury of making that decision with the power of my past behind me.

Since then, the child in me has not faded and we have come to an understanding that while there are certain responsibilities that have to be respected, how I master those responsibilities is no one’s choice but my own. I was also lucky enough to find Erin whose inner child is much the same as mine, allowing us to follow a dream constantly being redesigned.

It is sad that often the actions of humanity leave little room for dreaming. Rather than dreaming, we have become immersed in the structures that condition us into a routine that leaves little time for play. There are, of course, those few who work at jobs that they genuinely love; and therein lies the balance.

What if tomorrow you had the chance to go back in time – knowing what you know now – and change the direction of what you would do? What would you change? Would you make choices allowing you to spend more time with family and friends? Would you opt in for a smaller house and more affordable car so that you could travel? Would you take less money doing something you love rather than earning a top salary in a stressful position?

Guess what? We do not have to go back in time; tomorrow is another day and we do have the chance to begin something new. The real does exist; it exists in the child in us, that part of us that we begin to ignore when living gets in the way of life.

The question is, will you see tomorrow as a chance to do it all over again? Will you allow your inner child back into your life? Will you listen to yourself long enough to allow those past dreams to emerge in such a way that opens your future up to the chance to be free?



Perhaps humanity will always misplace their priorities and act in erroneous ways; maybe that is just a part of being human. But it does not mean that we do not have the power to take control of our own lives and decide on what our next chapter will be. Life will never always be easy – nor should it be – and awakening the dreams that have lay dormant for so much of our lives takes courage, but with our past behind us, all we have is the future, and right now, the future is ours to be!

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Comments

[Mom and Dad]

Anything is possible!
As we go about our daily lives, as Sean references in this blog, ultimately it is our choice to be happy or sad, content or restless. We all feel these emotions from time to time for one reason or another but it’s how we deal with these ups and downs and what we learn from them is what makes us who we are. As Arthur Henry Hallam wrote, “Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all”. Over time the inner child who once accepted unconditional love, trust and forgiveness develops a whole range of different emotions that unfortunately include limitations imposed upon us from societal conventions and piece by piece we lose ourselves and our dreams and begin to self doubt our true inner self. Instead of the cup being half full, it is easy to look at our circumstances and regard the cup as being half empty. As Sean says, we only have ourselves to blame for that. As Sean’s parents, we couldn't be prouder of our son who has always made us so proud and still amazes to impress us. Now that he has Erin in his life and ours, anyone who has been fortunate to see the two of them together and has spent time with them know that together how perfect they are for one another; they are unstoppable in the best possible way. To be sharing such a journey together and by taking us along reawakens the inner child within me and your father. We look forward to what lies ahead. Love you both!

[Where Did the Real Go]

Hi Mom and Dad... Erin and I thank you for your thoughts; they are always very important to us! You forget, however, that there are those moments when as children we are proud of our parents too! I love seeing the two of your traveling and still doing new things on your own! And I still keep talking about how wonderful it is that you just celebrated your 40th anniversary! Feeling proud is something I feel when I see how close we have come over the years... there was a time when my glass did seem half empty, so it is nice to break those societal conventions and do what is right, not what is necessarily expected :) What fun is there in doing the things that everyone knows is coming!! :)