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Having said our goodbyes to the Dublin girls we boarded a grotty, leaking, VIP bus to Bangkok so we could then get on another one to Cambodia. The drivers were cretins as they turned the lights off at 8 oçlock so we were in pitch black but then woke us up at 1am to stop at what we thought was the trampiest road side restaurant ever, however we would be proved wrong later.
We stayed only one night in Bangkok, long enough only for us to be hassled approximately 4 times a minute and for me to collect my suit. The sceptics among you may have thought that this was a ridiculous purchase and altho i accept that it isn't very practical it happens to be the mack daddy of all suits and well worth every budgeted penny i paid for it. I would be wearing it everyday however it makes me sweat my tits off and there would also be photos of me posing in it for the cynics but unfortunately i have somehow managed to delete all the photos off my camera up to now. There will be more soon.
We purchased a bus ticket (journey
time 14 hours) to Cambodia for little over 2 pound each after Sean managed to barter a travel agency down. Bartering has become a vital part of this trip already (especially after the suit purchase) and is possibly bringing out the very worse in us with regards to our attitude towards the locals. We blame it on being constantly asked in any public place if we want a tuk tuk/ moto/ taxi/ skunk/ bracelets/ a sarong/ a good time/ a ladyboy/ a suit/ a trip somewhere or any other tat that you could possibly imagine. Sean is by far the most aggressive at giving these people the brush off and as such, this seems to have crossed over to his bartering technique. He begins by stating that we have been offered the same service around the corner for half the price and if the person fails to match this price we walk off until the person shouts us back. This works almost every time hence the fact that the ridiculously cheap ticket to Cambodia. On the bus to Cambodia which featured grafitti informing us that the company was scamming us and that we should get a taxi to Cambodia rather
than the bus, the staff told us that we would have to buy our Cambodian visas on the bus for around 18 quid. Having been told by the whippersnappers before that this was bullshit we refused at which point they told us that it wasn't possible to get visas at the border. We told them we had been to Cambodia before and knew we could so they changed their threat to the bus won't wait for you. We still refused and the lady even called Sean into her office locking the door behind him to try and psyche him out we think but to no avail. Naturally we got the visa on the border in no time for about 12 quid, after bribing the border guards to issue it in 3 mins rather than 30!! After a long journey, being hassled on the bus for a visa and dealing with corrupt immigration officials i was pretty pissed and proceeded to get embroiled at the border in a rather heated argument with a local because i wouldn't wait for our ongoing bus where he wanted me to. For some reason he felt we should sit down away from the others on
our bus however i felt it was best to stay with the group we had come with as it seemed we were being ostricised for fucking the company off and getting our visas ourselves. Mark reckons he threatened to kill me but i think that was a load of bull to shit me up, although he did say we weren't getting on the ongoing bus and had to wait till tomorrow. This border town was like a scene out of Mad Max so after Sean and Mark had calmed me mildly we sat where he wanted us to, had a fag and then got on the bus anyway. England 1- Cambodia 0.
We arrived in the northern town of Siem Rip where we were driven straight to the driver's mate's/family's guest house where we stayed one night (we were too tired to argue with this particular group of scammers) before leaving the next day as it was nowhere near the town centre and they had a fucking idiot of an employee who would literally drop his kid and then follow you around trying to squeeze as much cash as possible out of us. Siem Rip was a laugh, we
went to the temples to the north with a guide, Pete (all the locals are called Pete aparently in Cambodia!) and had a few nights out on Pub Road (naturally) one with Pete where he divulged that he is a 26 year old virgin who will get married when he is 35 to someone around 20 and have 15 kids!! Although his thoughts on sex before marriage and family planning differed a little from ours he was a fine fella and taught us loads about the temples and Cambodia in general. The nightlife in Siem Rip was again centred around whores and altho this is suprisingly getting a little tiresome it was still a good laugh. Mark even commented one morning after a heavy night that he is: 'bored of dancing with hookers'!! Who'd have thought it.
After a few pleasent days in Siem Rip we travelled to the capital Phlon Phenn on another bus. This time we stopped at a really grotty shit hole of a restaurant where i had a meatless omlette to be safe. Unfortunately i think the eggs were off as about 5 minutes after getting back on the bus i began sweating like a
mother and feeling sick. With no toilet on the bus and being too ashamed to ask the driver to stop at the side of the road to be sick i fought it back for a good 2 hours and felt ill in various ways that will not be mentioned for the rest of the day. Nice.
Phon Phenn is a shit tip to be fair. It's really poor but we didn't like it at all. We were constantly being hassled as usual but there was absolutely nothing to do there apart from drink or leave the city on tours to see mass graves!! We decided against that and left Phon Phenn after 2 nights altho we did sample a club called the Heart of Darkness which was supposedly the best place in town. Naturally it was wank as the dj was a pleb and there were the types of western men there licking whores necks that makes you hope that they're yank and not english!! Even the lovely girl from the bar nicknamed roly poly for her frame managed to scam us by getting us an overpriced tuk tuk.
We left Phon Phenn and headed for the main
beach town in Cambodia down south where we are currently. Being well educated fellas that we are we made this decision even tho we knew full well it is now monsoon season and we haven't seen blue skies in Cambodia for more than one morning since we got here. It has been pissing it down everyday but life is nice and slow here and cheap so it's a lot better than the shithole we were just at. Also we have had some sun today and i have been burnt mild lobster. Also the sea food is bad ass and really cheap. Anyway more on this place next time as i'm bored reading my own tripe.
Hope everyone is well and enjoying the english summer (ha ha), till next time.
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Dan
non-member comment
Funny as f**k
Just like to say you dont know me but been reading your blogs and they are funny as f**k, ha ha