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Published: March 5th 2016
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All kind of people travel. You have the single travellers, the couples, the friends, the families, and infrequently the mother-daughter pair. But it is not often you encounter the mother-son combination. The eyes stop to look, the minds wonder. We are different. Not the norm for the road. We stand out. But the reactions are invariably positive.
How is it to travel with my mother? Not hard. But there are differences with travelling alone of course. Probably the biggest issue is the discrepancy in spending power. My budget is lower than my mums. It’s not always easy. I don’t want my mum to have to travel like I do, vice-versa, my mother doesn’t want me to break my bank to keep up with her. For the Galapagos I decided to go on par with my mother, sharing the accommodation costs equally despite the fact that the accommodation was more expensive than I would normally go for, sharing the food costs equally, despite the fact that I ate more expensively than I normally would, and sharing taxi costs, despite the fact that I normally wouldn’t get a cab. More obviously I paid for my own tours, because I would have done
Bahia de Caraquez
View from our hotel rooftop so when travelling alone as well.
The reason for going half on everything on the Galapagos was because it was the only part of Ecuador which I had expressed a wish to go to. I considered it my part of this trip. After the Galapagos, however, I had to slim down. But it was difficult. How to share the costs? I would normally stay in dorms or cheap rooms, I would eat the free breakfast (if provided) and have one other meal during the day, the cheap lunch deals, and nothing more. I would not take the taxi from the coach station to the centre of town. My budget is between 15 and 20 dollars a day. My mother wants to stay, not necessarily in expensive hotels, but she does want a clean room with a private bathroom. She wants a sandwich for lunch and a dinner in a reasonably nice restaurant, again nothing too fancy, but neither the places I would be seen hanging out in. And while she could take a bus into town from the coach station, with her luggage it is difficult, so a taxi is normally the only real option. My mother’s budget is
Quito
View over Quito from El Panecillo, with our double-decker bus below probably around 30 to 40 dollars a day.
For a while I tried to keep up, unwilling to have my mum pay more for our shared accommodation than me, or foot the bill for the meals, or for a taxi. She was more than willing to do so. As she sees it, I am helping her, I carry her suitcase (it rolls luckily), I am accompanying her on a trip which she wouldn’t do on her own, and more. As I see it, that isn’t really a chore, after all I get to travel and with somebody I love. I am lucky my mother doesn’t require much in the way of luxury. Our budgets are not that far apart. She likes taking coaches and she doesn’t mind taking city buses, even if due to the luggage it isn’t always practical. She is fit as a fiddle, so she can hike with me. We share most of the same interests when we travel which makes life easier.
But trying to keep up with my mother's budget has become unfeasible for me, and so I have had to swallow my pride and suck up my guilt. I can no longer
Quito
My mum pointing at El Panecillo from the top of de Basilica del Voto Nacional afford to pay half of the rooms, and I can’t pay half on taxi rides anymore, nor can I pay for the meals in the restaurants we frequent. We have therefore come to the understanding that I will pay what I normally would pay if I were travelling on my own. Everything on top of that will be topped up by my mum. This is easier for her than for me to accept. It doesn’t feel right. On her side, she feels guilty because I am spending much more than I would have done on my own, so she is quite happy with the new arrangements.
So money is the main source of contention while travelling with my mother. There are a few other differences, but they are not really that important. I am more interested in wildlife than my mother is for instance. She liked the Galapagos, but I am pretty sure I was much more excited about all those animals than she was. On the other hand we both like bus journeys, just sitting and watching the scenery pass you by. We appreciated the journey to Bahia de Caraquez. We enjoyed the trip up to Quito. We
Quito
Our hotel is the second building below the church also are both fans of Quito’s old town and walking along its cobbled streets. My mother wanted to take the Quito bus tour (on a double decker), which I don’t really care about, but I joined her. In Mindo I was interested in the birds, my mother more in the scenery. I would have liked to take a bird watching tour, but after the Galapagos that was out of the question, instead I contended myself with paying a small entrance fee to watch some birds on the deck of a hotel which adjoined a little forest. My mum kept me company for a short while before becoming bored and heading back to our guesthouse to read her book in a hammock.
And now we have arrived in Otavalo. We hiked for 5 hours, got lost, scrambled down a eucalyptus filled slope and finally made it back to town. My mother is pretty tough. Tough she might be, but not tough enough to evade the common cold. Even the toughest fall prey to that. So we have a day of rest. It coincides with the Saturday Market, a colourful affair. We did some perusing in the morning, now my mum
Quito
Mural is in bed and I am writing this here blog. Days of rest can come in handy.
It is also here where, after checking my latest bank statements, I decided that I had to give up on trying to live on par with my mother as far as budget is concerned. So when travelling with your mother, your budgets might be different, but don’t let it get in the way of what is important, the travelling, the sharing, the experience, and like me, be proud of travelling with your mum!
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Linn
non-member comment
Hi Ralf, yes I can imagine it's very difficult for you both & that you both feel guilty but neither of you should and luckily you are still both able to put it to the side and enjoy your travels together!!! Lots of love Linn