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Published: September 24th 2006
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Reedy River Falls
Greeenville, South Carolina. Nice place for a couple of aussie bums After camp ended after a long 16 weeks, some of the finest people from the French Woods got together and decided to give New York City a good run for its money. After riding down in a camp van and siegel stopping for emergency shoe purchase at a gas station half way, we arrived in the city to what could basically be described as a ghetto posing as a half way house, posing as a hotel. We settled into the hotel being careful not to disturb the resident hobos that have been living there since it was a mental institute ( it really was ) and made plans for the first night out.
Romy was first to set the scene for what layed ahead planting her DNA all over the sidewalk without even consuming a drink and quickly the vomit on yourself club was scraping together numbers rapidly with maddy and myself already founder members. After meeting up with a few of Siegels mates the night was spent reminising about the summer and all the good times until it was time to go and hit the sac. Not before however Dave and Tatman had a little run in with NYC's
New York City Skyline
From the top of the Empire State, where King Kong was one day.... finest boys in blue.
The lads had gotten a tad out of control in the bar with a few comments flying around about respective mothers and her talents in the bedrooms, and i dunno if it was just the fact that we were all tierd or the fact that tatman wanted to floor dave but they both decided to play fight outside the 3am pizza stop on the way home. Some of the more alert people may have noticed the police across the street, however these two were tangled up in their apprieciation for each other, so when the car pulled up next to them and the men got out, the boys were still going at it. It was either common sense or the offer of spending a night with a guy called Shifty Fingers Mcgee that stopped the fight but the fun and games were soon over.
The days after that were spent walking the streets and hanging out in Chinatown where some of the crew decided to buy ridiculously big watches in an attempt to look gangsta.
About the third day we were there we headed off to Queens to take in some more of
Subway Stooges
We all thought we were on Seinfeld, damn tourists the US open tennis, which was quite a treat although we might have seen more if we werent in row z, the very top of the stadium, but hey at least we were there and at least Emma went one step closer to curing her fear of heights..... In the end we saw Roger Federer and James Blake play which was an awesome match, at the start we all wanted the american Blake to loose but the kid has so much battler in him he reminded us all of Patty Rafter and some trout called Tim Henman that we ended up gettin behind him.
The last night of the city was spent in true style up the top of the Empire State building and i can truely say this is one of the best days of my life. I had a great time and even though i had done it before seeing Emma get up there was tops, and we really did have a great day to remember for a long time.
After goodbyes were said, and the tears were cried (yep) that night and no one got any sleep cause the majority of us were leaving at
Em at the US Open
You cant tell but she is holding onto everything to make sure she doesnt fall.... 4.30am, it was time to pack our bags and head for South Carolina.
My favourite milf this side of the moon was waiting anxiously at the baggage claim to claim her two cabana boys and mannys for the two weeks ahead. Venus had booked the services of the two brothers to combat the gruelling task that is babysitting her boys. She did start off very well however showering us with gifts that included a strech hummer ride from the airport to her place, beers and a credit card for "essential items". We only got to spend one night with Venus as she had a big court case to attend in Florida the next day, so basically we were thrown into it straight away.
We were handed a big list of instructions of how to treat the 8 and 10 year old angels when we arrived and timmy and i had our own gameplan going into the whole thing of to show the boys who was boss from the begginning. It would seem though that the boys had that exact same gameplan and it started basically straight away.
A basic day with the boys would go something
Centre Court
Arthur Ashe stadium, Flushing Meadows, Queens, New York like this
6am- wakeup
6.01 guitar practice and boys jumpin on me
6.53 ( exactly ryan was very precise with this) take the boys to school
8.00 back to bed....yeeeessssssssss
8.20 cant sleep get up
1.30 pick the kids up from school
1.35 break up world war three over who is the best at farting in the car
3.00 snack time
5.00 dinner time
5.30 world war 4 to get the kids in the shower
8.30 world wars 5&6 to get them to bed
On top of this i got to see the kids pummle each other at hockey on a weekly basis, playing tennis with the future world champs that im training, staying up late watching the best of Full House, and making the boys as many milkshakes as they can handle, and teaching them a few bits of australiana along the way....No one else at their school knew the old pull my finger joke....crikey!! Love em....
Now dont get me wrong i LOVE this family, Love em to bits, but kids are definatley a handful, and one minute they will hate your guts and then the next minute your their hero, so all the time
Me and Leon
Besties in NYC u have no idea what the hell is goin on. But for the time we were the mannies, i think we did a reasonable job, but nothing compared to the army that venus runs over here and there is definatley a lot more respect goin out to mums around the world after this eye opener. I felt like it should have been recored and sold as reality tv. Would have made millions.
So now venus is back and hopefully the kids will go back to being my friend instead of sworn enemy who tells us what to do all day, which was a much better scenario. Im a big fan of the theory that kids are great, as long as u get to give them back after a while, but sayin that i still cant wait to have my own boys one day.
Thats it for now, next stop England to catch up with Tatman for his bday, dougal for random happenings, jimmy king of thame for more random activities, and all u other bums who i cant wait to see, and u of course Em who im counting the days to see!
Hope you are all
Number 1 train
all stops from the bronx to south ferry manhattan...kinda cool i thought well email me soon, go the broncos in the grand final, shame about the mighty eagles, but theres always next year!! Over and out for now
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Pikey bastard
non-member comment
u criminal
didnt even know aussies could read and write?! Decent effort anyway, see you in loughborough (keep me informed about it) Laters. PS - Timmy, you still suck at life