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Published: November 22nd 2006
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Me and Em part 2
Some fool said I look like a Italian sailor in my new jumper?? Well folks, its time for another installment of the debarcle that is my life. When we left off it was riding high in South Carolina, well i've changed continents and settled on colder weather but believe me, ive hit the jackpot!!
Things didnt start off to well, getting the JFK a full 12 hours before my flight was due to depart, and the extra time I thought I could waste checking in, took all of 2 minutes. After asking for an exit row seat, and being told ' man your here so early, you can have any damn seat you want', i decided that it was time to see the city for one last time. The day was then spent walking round one of my fave cities, and visiting some places that mean a lot to me, for example the theatre where David Letterman is filmed, where me and John went back in 04, right at the start of this trip, and the gentlemens club that me my dad and timmy frequented after camp this year, plastered at 4am. Still cant believe I've been travelling this long!!
So after a long flight over to the UK and then a
Me and Em at Loughborough
Down for Tatman the fools bday party, in the highly desirable meat market that tatman seems to be more than a regular at.... short ride up to Manchester, I was more than happy to see Emmas big smile waiting for me at the airport. Think she was a little happy to see me too, as she told me a little bit of wee came out when she was waiting, which I thought was what happened with animals, but maybe not so much.
The weather here is not so bad...yet, as it does snow here in the winter, so im getting ready for my first ever white christmas, and as some select family memebers know, I dont go so well in the snow, and still get flashbacks of the line of people who I took out when i couldnt stop coming down the mountain at Perisher, waaaay back in the day.
When arriving here I was a little more than worried about how Emmas family would feel about taking me on board after never meeting me before, and the little fact that her dad Ivor the fantastic did a Google search on me to make sure that I wasnt a escaped convict from the colony back home. Flashes of Meet the Fockers kept going through my mind, and I have been extra
The Thomas'
They love a quiet beverage!!! Down at the local near the family holiday home in Suffolk...great times attentive to staying within the circle of trust ( love you Ive!!). But seriously, Emmas family are nothing less than fantastic, and really they treat me as if im one of their own, and guess what Mum, im finally in a family where im not the one that farts the most!!!!!!! Giddy UP!!
Thank GOD there is no Morris Dancing around here also can I just say, if i see anymore Morris dancers, I think im going to be sick, it would have been a far better idea to pack them up and send them away back in the day, instead of the convicts, cause I think they are the real criminals....whoa...that felt good.
I knew I was going to be right at home when the second night we all went out to a family birthday dinner where I met all the family, and was instantly invited to about 10 or so nights on the cans, and a party the next night at stormin normas ( you little legend!!! )
We had our annual fireworks night a few nights back where Ive and me were the trusted pyrotechnicians, which involved not much more than shoving the firework
Dream Boat
Not exactly the canals of Italy...BUT...very very close.... in a potplant, standing with your bum facing the way you wanted to run from it, closing your eyes, lighting it, then the whole family would say RUN, then you would run and hide behind the closest woman. Ahhh top work and a job well done.
Just before the fireworks night, I sampled a bit of British tradition and went down to the family caravan, in Suffolk, about a 4 hour drive from Ness. Now getting the the caravan isn't as easy as it seems, cause before I even knew that the family owned a caravan, I was caught ripping into people that owned them calling them gypsies , and wrote them off as a place I would never go, well not since the family caravan trip to Umina with Mum and Nan turned ugly when the 45 degree heat became unbearable and everyone melted down in no airconditioning and a scummy beach!!
So after nights and nights of grovelling, I was finally accepted back into Ivors caravan circle of trust and the bags were packed and we were on the way!! The caravan is a great time and is more like a second home compared to what
Boozehag!!
Magners, and.....wait for it.....blackcurrent...what a pioneer... I thought was a caravan. I had visions of a crusty box on wheels, with brown stains on the ceilings from years of cigarette abuse...not the case. In fact with Ives attention to detail and love of his possessions how could I have imagined such things!! The actual second home is situated a stones throw away from the beach and comes complete with a flower garden!!!! Lovely...
So the nights at the caravan were spent relaxing and frequenting the pub, and then me losing terribly at cards to Emmas mum...Helen...or the big H as she is known in card circles...Was great times all round and my advise is to the ignoramouses out there is to never judge a caravan by what u see at the caravan park at Summer Bay.
My birthday this year was super tops. After getting over the initial dissapointment of now being on the wrong side of 25, I was quick to find more presents than a 6 year old gets at a McDonalds super fun kids party, which included a big wooly coat to replace the multi-purpose one that looks like what a bum would have on the street in about 25 years,
Birthday Night
Great times at the local chinese...I ate so much that I almost popped an eyeball a gym membership cause im a fat bum again, a gym bag, and many toiletries which i havent seen since i left home in May 2004, which is a good change to deoderant and soap being the only things in my wet bag for the past 3 years.
Not much else goes on round here which is just how I like it. Met many good mates who I think I will get along fine with as soon as I can get some cash together and give into their bi-weekly requests to go out on the cans with em. Been doing plenty of job hunting and there is a good possibility that ill end up working with Andy Callander from FWF, sending many more ignorant people off to camp for a taste of the most rewarding, but biggest underestimated summer of their lives, especially if they manage to meet Siegel and he takes them to LA for 2 weeks. Love you larry.
Thats about all there is for the moment, my old mate Jimmy is due up here soon, and we are looking to getting a pimp pad together to entertain the masses of people we owe hospitality to
Smellanie
Ems fantabulous sister Mel from the past year. Emma is fantastic, and for some reason isnt sick of me yet, Dad thinks she needs a better optician, I think im damn sexy. Will write more when Im in full time employment, and I have embarrassed myself with beers as I tend to do and write about. Over and out for now, stay beautiful guys!!!
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Emma
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SHHHAMMME!
To all those who read this and think im a little girl from the country who wears wellies and talks to sheep - i do, so eff off!!!!!