escape!!!

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Unusual train stop unleashed a dream.

my head kept on banging against the headboard designated for train-sleepers, failing, at every minute, to deliver the very scope it was meant to achieve. my head hurt, although not enough for me to fully wake up, shoo away the half-sleep and even sacrifice a few wakeful hours until my arrival to bucharest. i kept daydreaming with my eyes closed, my head banging against the headboard, wondering about the purposes of everything around me; for it occurred to me that even the door to my compartment was opening, on its own, itself banging against metal and plastic and god-knows what else, making an absurdly loud noise that should have woken me up eventually. it didn’t. i was obstinate enough to remain still, as if not to lose the little thread of illusory dreams of a soft bed and neatly tendered sheets at the end of my interrupted trip.
i am on my way to constanta. 1 stop in bucharest. one hour in between. and a more than helpful laptop to keep my timidity company. i am enraged that i cannot get myself together enough to talk to people. at the same time, i am impeded by the thought that i may appear as imposing, exotic and intimidating to these romanian folks around me. it’s all a head-game with myself, and the result is sordidly silly. maybe having a job in the restaurant business didn’t help as much as i thought. as a server i was obliged to interract with people on a daily basis, whether i wanted it or not. now i am sitting, lonely and writing at a local train station coffee shop, being stared at, paralized by the thought that i coulda shoulda woulda started some kind of conversation with fellow travelers. meeting someone new, someone from somehwere else, someone with yet another story would please me immensely.
i will send a telepathic vibe to all interested: do come talk to me. please. i will not bite!
at times like these, strained by a monogloue with myself about the benefits of not over-thinking a situation, i calm myself down, telling myself: hey, that someone “brave” enough to save the last piece of unwanted silence reigning, transform it into cursive dialogue, is the one that i would want to talk to anyway. there we go. that works. until then, lone writing it is.

my train. i entitled today’s blog entry “unusual train stop unleashed a dream. “ i almost forgot to expand on what seemed so obvious for a rebellious soul (me, me me 😊 my perilous train ride not only kept my body half-awake with pain stemming from defected machinations, but did one good thing: stopped in the middle of nowhere, a magic spot in the woods just outside bucharest. now, when my uncoherrent thoughts collided with the calming green reality outside, i simply coudn’t help thinking “ESCAPE!”

to be continued...smoking with corinne in constantza.

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Photos

limbs up and down
well..public W.C. and older male

poor romania - told ya'!!!
left of your peripheral vision

it's me!!! can't you tell?
oh lordy - yet another self-portrait

best buddies in the world
alex and bf bogdan

Comments

[Nelly Flores]

Great
Donna the pictures are great I like them. How are you doing down there? Besos,