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Published: August 14th 2010
Harmonicas
Sven and Markus playing harmonicasI've arrived in Oslo after a prolonged journey where we had to change onto a bus midway through the journey and then get onto another train. I think ferries are the way forward. You don't get any of that larking about with transferring to other forms of transport mid-cruise - Ladies and gentlemen I'm afraid there's been a prang with a jellyfish and this ship isn't going any further. There will however be a submarine which will take you to Tallinn from where a fleet of schooners will be waiting to take you on to Stockholm. Good luck! Added to the prolonged journey was my prolonged hangover... Which brings me neatly on to Stockholm.
It was a short time i had in the city filled with many happy moments as I was in the company of The Swedes, starring: Ronald, Klara, Sven, Jukka, Aya (honorary Swede), Markus and Robert together with a star-studded supporting cast of family members and ukulele cohorts which must have doubled my daily recommended dosage for Swedes.
When I arrived in Stockholm the ferry provided a special bus shuttle to the city centre. In my excitement I jumped off at the first opportunity and trotted
across the nearest bridge my backpack feeling light as a feather as I skipped along entranced by the attractions of Stockholm and as I knew Gamla Stan (Old Town) where I was staying on was an island I thought I'd try my luck. (no matter that the whole city is basically a bunch of islands...)It turned out to be a big park with a zoo and a fairground and so I had to turn back and walked the whole quayside until I got to the right bridge. It was rather full of tourists so I used one of my tried and tested methods of clearing a path: charging head-first shrieking like a woman possessed and swinging my rucksack above my head with truly Nordic aggression. There was instantly a parting of the masses allowing me comfortable passage through the coach parties and only a few passengers had to jump in the sea.
My hostel was right in the heart of the old town on one of the narrow pedestrian streets. It wouldn't rate very highly on my top of the pops hostel charts. Pokey room, shared shower and toilets and the hostel woman made the mistake of trying to
Me, Klara and Ronald
On our grand tour of Sodermalm in the hot sunshine separate me from my uke! I couldn't check in right away so decided to dump my big bag and go for a stroll. She grabbed my uke saying, you won't want this will you? I snatched it right back saying to myself 'the ukulele stays with me, bitch!' whilst smiling sweetly and saying out loud 'well it's very kind of you, but I think I'd better look after it, thanks ducky!'.
Anyway after my stroll I braved the underground and managed to find my way to Markus' flat where some of the above mentioned Swedes were already gathered including Sven's two lovely kids. Jukka and Aya, the newly weds were proudly showing off their wedding gift from Sven, a beautiful ukulele made of Swedish Ash with a heart-shaped soundhole made especially for the couple. This was the main focus of any wedding related conversation as Jukka seemed rather offhand about the occasion itself... Just his way, no doubt.
There was champagne, a bass harmonica and once Ronald showed up with his home baked soda bread we got to tuck into the food. Glorious food. Once the food was done we started on the selection of miniature liqueurs which
I'd brought along including a Finnish liquorice drink, a Lithuanian cough medicine, vodka and then 3 Scotches. We each had a sip of each in-between gulps of Sailor Jerrys (that bottle wasn't miniature...).
With the help of Ronald and Klara I made it back to the hostel in one piece and I believe I was speaking fluent Swedish the whole way!
The next day I got up early and went to the nearest cafe for breakfast (rhubarb crumble and an enormous bowl of tea which I didn't much approve of as the one tea bag had no chance of lending any flavour whatsoever in that vast ocean of hot water.) After breakfast I went back to my room to fetch my uke and was hit with the need to lie on my bed and sleep deeply. It was Sailor Jerry's revenge... An hour later I emerged into the daylight ready for some sore-eyed sightseeing. I had a nice peaceful walk up to Mosebacke Torg with lovely views over the city. Then after sitting in a daze on the key for a bit I received instructions from the Svenska base camp to meet for lunch - a great vegetarian
Ukulele Cabaret - Aya
with the romantic Argapa ukulele buffet along with a lovely view of the city which I eventually noticed once I'd licked my plate clean and wiped my sleeve across my sauce-flecked food-wrecked face.
After lunch and the weakest cup of tea I've ever made I was taken on a guided tour of Södermalm by Klara and Ronald. Along the docks in a rejuvenated industrial zone now full of new shiny blocks of flats. Along willowy banks we walked, passing a yellow old Ford van with a green ukulele left to roast on the dashboard and a few meters on from there was a little caravan with a harmonium sitting outside! We surmised it was going to be part of some theatrical event when we saw a giant papier mâché mushroom in the boot of the nearby car. As I write this it occurs to me that perhaps the whole thing was a hallucination, however I know I didn't take any drugs and I don't think it was the Sailor Jerrys...
After the tour we headed for The Regent and the Ukulele Cabaret which Robert organises. It was a fantastic evening's entertainment and a great insight into the murky depths of the Swedish
Ukulele Cabaret - Jukka
also with the same special ukulele... Ukulele scene. Particular highlights for me were the chaps with the harmonicas who kept us entertained until their egg timer sounded and their time was up, Robert in his bow tie blowing bubbles in advance of his super rendition of "I'm forever blowing bubbles", help I'm not sure I can see these highlights through as there were 13 acts and each was excellent in it's own way. I should mention I did also get on stage with Sven,Ronald and Robert for another go at "Getting Drunk With You" and Ring Ring". After the drunken wreckage of a performance I did in Hollesley I was surprised they'd agree to go on stage with me ever again. But they're very generous spirited people and bravely stepped up with me. This time I think I did ok, at least I didn't fall over on stage... For the first time I felt comfortable singing to an audience, so I'm glad we had a second go. I'd been practicing my Swedish for the rendition we did of "Ring Ring" and so i think we pulled it off... Though there were a couple of lines where I freestyled a bit with "hurdy-gurdy" type noises. I doubt
The harmonica men...
with Robert on washboard anyone noticed. So it was a super cabaret and then after food and more drinks we went to another venue where they let us take over a basement to jam away the night. That was what I call ukulele underground. A drunken mash of songs- no rules, it's survival of the fittest. Someone even managed to get an upright bass so we were set. Only a few of us made it out intact... Once again Ronald and Klara guided me home with a magic taxi.
So that was Stockholm. A great city with great Swedes in it. I'll have to go and stay longer next time to perfect my Swedish accent.
I also should say it's been fantastic weather the whole time- sunny and hot - I don't know if I'm really in Scandinavia at all. Probably one of those ferries ditched me in Greece and it's all make believe (except the papier mâché mushroom. That was so real man!)
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Sven
non-member comment
Thanks!
Great reading about your stay Clare, I am so glad you came. Next time you can forget about the hostel, we'll be fighting over who gets to have you as a guest. Sven