Sihanoukville

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Sihannoukville is Cambodia’s premier beach resort, named for the notorious Prince / King / Former President Sihannouk, who after an extremely colourful career is now living in exile in China. An NGO worker in Phnom Penh described it as ‘like the Costa Del Sol but with paedophiles’. And yet still I came. Not sure why, morbid curiosity probably. I didn’t really know what to make of the place. I suppose in many ways it was a bit of a shithole. The beaches could have been as pretty as Thailand’s, had they been cared for properly. Instead they are dirty and crammed from one end to the other with bars and restaurants built directly onto the sand. Huge concrete waste water pipes drain directly into the sea. It looks like a few years ago everyone thought SV was going to be the next Ko Samut. A rush of poorly thought out development followed. The recession and the accompanying dip in tourism hit it hard, and the place is full of businesses half built, shut down or for sale. There were still a healthy number of people around, but not enough to fill the rows and rows of brand new beach bars and restaurants, most of which sat empty.

I’m not saying it didn’t have its charms. One huge factor was the availability of free alcohol. This was a big draw for me, after six weeks straightedge. There was a large contingent of British backpackers who’d been hanging around for months, working at the bars. I made friends with some on my first night, meaning instant access to free booze. There were also a ridiculous number of free drinks promotions on at different places every night. I don’t know how they made any money. Maybe they didn’t. So I had a good time for a few nights, playing laptop DJ at one of the beach bars and nearly setting myself on fire trying to learn those flamey stick things. It was fun. But you can’t get around the fact that the place is seedy. The crowd there was such a weird mix of young bikini clad backpackers, holidaying Cambodians swimming in the sea fully clothed, blatant hookers, crusty old sex tourists and a few confused looking families of European tourists who clearly thought it would be like Thailand. It’s not like Thailand. Not yet.

The single most irritating thing about the places was the unremittant hassling from hawkers. There is no peace because, even if you are lying on the beach reading a book with headphones in, you will be bothered relentlessly by people selling things. Anything, literally. Do I want a massage? Manicure? Pedicure? Would I like my armpits waxed? Would I like to buy a lobster? Squid-on-a-stick? Actually, yes, the itinerant seafood vendors were awesome. But mostly no. Would I like someone to cut the dead skin of my feet, only a dollar? No. Very much no. By far the worst are the children. They wander around the beach in packs, flogging bracelets and making transparent attempts to rob you. I caught a couple of young boys making a badly orchestrated, unprofessional effort to distract me and nick my bag. Had they been about 5 years older I could have twatted them but they are kids, what can you do? Nothing. You can’t even be angry, only sad that they’re out robbing tourists instead of going to school.

The ones selling things are just as bad. They look cute and design their act to provoke pity, but upset one and they unleash the most foul tirade of abuse imaginable. I have never been called a small boobed dirty dog shagging hooker by a seven year old child before. All because I didn’t want to buy a bracelet. I'd had my nails painted by a friendly ladyboy, who was so delighted by the little tip I gave that they made me a ‘friendship bracelet’. When the hawkerkids saw me wearing the bracelet they went MENTAL, because I had told them unequivocally that I wasn’t buying any bracelets off anyone, ever. I tried to explain that I hadn’t purchased the bracelet, but had in fact been gifted it by a transsexual manicurist. They were having non of this, and started demanding that I buy a bracelet of each of them, otherwise it isn’t ‘fair’. I told them no and ignored them (you can’t ever say maybe or later, engage them in conversation or encourage them in any way… just say no). When they realised they were getting nowhere they came out with the most unbelievably shocking filthy language. I have literally never been sworn at like that before. I was actually impressed. I wonder where they learned it. My reaction was to burst out laughing but of course it’s not funny, it’s tragic. If you go to Cambodia, don’t give any money to or buy anything from the street kids. Apart from the fact that they’re little shits, you really aren’t helping them by doing so, they don’t get to keep the money and they should be in school (which is free in Cambodia, despite what they will tell you).

So that was Sihannoukville. I also did a ‘three islands’ boat trip, which only went to, I would say, one and a half islands. These were more peaceful but no cleaner than the mainland. Maybe if the trip had actually gone to the places advertised I would have been more impressed. I tried to complain but the guy I bought the ticket from pretended not to speak English, then hid in the store cupboard.

Sihannoukville is not Cambodia. I just want to make sure everybody knows that. I met quite a few people who’d come to Cambodia only for a week, just seeing Siem Riep and SV. They liked the temples but not the country, and I couldn’t blame them. Throughout most of Cambodia the kids are lovely and want nothing more than to play with you and practise their English. The people are genuine, welcoming, generous and helpful, never thinking to try and rip you off. It’s only when exposed to tourism that they sometimes turn nasty. I wonder why this is. Maybe the influx of bikini-wearing, heavy drinking insensitive teenage backpackers doing ‘South East Asia on a Shoestring’ causes the locals to develop a negative opinion of all foreigners. I’ll say it again, Cambodia is not Thailand. It is not ok to walk around in hotpants. Maybe it’s simply the comparatively vast wealth of the tourists compared to the locals with relatively few economic opportunities. Faced daily with that kind of financial incentive, people are willing do to anything, behave in any way, to get in on the action.

Leaving SV, I lost my temper for the first time. I went by share taxi. These are standard size cars into which drivers routinely try to squeeze SEVEN passengers. I had paid extra specifically in order to secure the whole front seat to myself. This had already been negotiated and agreed upon at the ticket booth, but the driver was trying to convince me to get in the back with 3 Cambodian ladies and a baby. I flatly refused, which provoked a stand-up row, me versus roughly 15 taxi drivers. Some flaky old western hippy meandered over, puffing on a comically oversized joint, to join the debate on the taxi drivers side.

“Hey man this is Cambodia, this is how the Cambodians travel, why are you any different?”

I said I’m different because I paid three times as much, if I’m going to travel like the Cambodians I’ll pay the Cambodian price so either give me my money back or allow me one whole, entire, unobstructed seat to myself. And get a ***ing haircut.

I got my own way, but it almost wasn’t worth it because I ended up looking like such a bastard. I admit the heat, and the hangover, may have contributed somewhat to my indignation. The Cambodian lady passengers, innocent bystanders who waited patiently while their transport was delayed due to my hissyfit, were of course still lovely to me.

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Photos

Rainy Season
It comes out of nowhere

Freshly Squeezed Sugarcane Juice
I am now addicted to this.

How NOT To Fish...
Because much of the poulation is illiterate, the country is full of hilarious educational posters. This one is encouraging people not to fish with hand grenades, or car batteries...

How NOT To Drive...
Another hilarious educational poster, found in the taxi park. This one is instructing drivers not to shove 23 people in one minibus. I referred to this during my debate with the drivers. No joy.

Comments

[amity]

great blog
really enjoyed your blog, informative and funny and forthright.