The most surreal experience at airport security...

---

Currently at Gatwick Airport slurping a skittles smoothie from a definitely "Will It Blend?" inspired milkshake bar in the duty free zone. Everything's gone as expected so far - the 2 expected hold ups, that is. My suitcase cost me an extra £45 to check in for being too heavy, expectedly, and I also had a little hold up getting through security because of the huge amount of electronic equipment in my hand luggage, which I'd put there to make the suitcase lighter. So, cue the security clerk coming along to empty everything out. While he did so he started chatting with me, I told him I was a musician blah blah, moving to Prague for 3 months, and it turned out he'd lived in Prague too (though he was obviously Polish)

So he started quizzing me on how much I knew in czech, starting with the basics, ahoj, jak se máš, etc, then asked me if I knew how to say "honey" (miláčku), and then whether I knew "how to ask my honey if she wanted to make love to me". "Erm, not politely, lets say" I responded, but he prompted me to tell him anyway, which most possibly made me the only person ever in the universe to contextually utter the words "chci tě šukat" (which basically means "I want to f**k you") to an airport security clerk while on duty. We both had a good lol about it and he left me to stuff my serato box and valve amp back into my bag.

I never imagined I'd get a reason to blog this early on. What do you know.

(the czech text in this entry is all missing diacritics cos this keyboard has no alt or control keys - ???)

---

Comments

[Lucy]

What a great start!
And you hadn't even left the country! Ganbatte, kiotsukete! (Good luck and take care!) You're going to have the best time EVER...

[Charlie]

Haha
Remind me; if I ever want to become a mule, all I need to learn how to say is "chci t šukat"... although, I think if I said it it would be quite insidious. Damn. xxx

[Rawcliffe]

Yes, that is it
That is the proper definition for the word "surreal." Congratulations - the last two experiences I read about were either annoying or pleasant and definitely not surreal. This one is surreal. Good work.