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Published: March 15th 2009
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Lizard
We found this guy hanging off a leaf outside our room. Not 100% sure how he's doing it. Hi,
Time is currently a train sparking down the tracks of our lives. I feel we are running to keep up.
After Kampot we headed to Kep, a nearby fishing village known for it's impressive crab market. It was once the main holiday retreat for the Cambodian upper class and it once boasted numerous mansions from the French colonial period. Unfortunately, when the Khmer Rouge took power they shelled Kep into the ground taking with it all its former glory and reduced many of the houses to rubble. I'm not certain, but I believe the shelling took place whilst the villagers were still present in the town.
Our guesthouse was slightly outside Kep and was a pretty incredible place. It was a little like a self-contained jungle with interjecting paths cutting through it like a woven maze. The place is run by a Belgian guy and we were pleased to find a pretty good pool table in place. Myself and Rich are currently involved in a pool competition. We play 200 of Cambodia's finest Riel per game and the payment takes place at the completion of 20 won games for either player. Currently the score stands at 4-3
Dead Crabs
On the shore front of Kep the women drag huge woven crates of live crabs to the cooking pots on the beach. These are a few who didn't quite make it. in my favor. This is a grand total of 800Riel...but unfortunately if you minus the 600Riel that Rich has taken, I'm currently owed 200Riel...which is the equivalent of about $0.05 - absolute bullshit. Still, it should keep me going for four or five days if I go easy on the golden-plated cigars and ivory back-scratchers. Solid win.
Upon arriving into our room I flicked the switch for the light and stepped through the door onto the cold tiles. It seemed okay. There were two beds covered with a large mosquito net, the first we'd seen being used. There were numerous crushed insects mangled amongst the white fabric, I couldn't make out the species of a single one. The bathroom was crawling with ants...big ants of the bastard species. The bastard ant walks with a swagger and has a character not too dissimilar to that which is implied by its potentially offensive name. They were on the walls collecting something putrid to feed to their gross pre-ant larvae children. I left them to it, stepped back into the main room and froze... just above the bed I had just shotgunned stood the biggest Bearded Dragon I had ever seen. I
say Bearded Dragon, which is a species of lizard, but if it wasn't for the fact that it was defying gravity by sitting on the wall, It could have easily been mistaken for a small alligator... or a tiny bear. I would like to be able to say that at this point, that I sighed calmly and dealt with the problem like a reasonable human being. We dealt with the obstacle like an idiot would deal with a hot potato placed into his hands. There was a little panicking, the lizard ran away... enough said.
As I stepped outside the largest flying insect on the planet buzzed inanely passed my filthy scraggle of a neckbeard and headed for the trees. If it had a sting I imagine it to be roughly the same size and shape as a rusty breadknife. I'm pretty sure its a newly discovered species, so I'm going to name it the "Greater Serrated Knife-Wasp". Unfortunately I don't believe the creature had the foresight to evolve any sexual organs during its long meanderings through the stages of life, so the species will shortly end - removing any counterevidence for my potentially ludicrous and scientifically challenged claim.
Beautiful Kep
The shorefront has endless points of beauty in Kep. Regardless of the shells launched by the Khmer Rouge, the beauty here remains. We borrowed free bikes from the guesthouse to travel down to Kep's beachfront. To qualify as a "bike" in Cambodia, you have to be made mostly of rusted metal, have two wheels and boast a distinct lack of general function in at least one of the vital areas conducting the required forward momentum. Mine had broken pedals and was stuck in some obscene gear that only moved if I placed all my weight down on one of the pedals. Countering this motion was the fact that the rusted pedals threatened to break at any second, leaving my genitals in the most precarious position they've been in since the night dogs first growl in my direction. One snap and it would be man down. Fortunately, fate made this up to me by delivering to Rich the bike of a small child with no brakes, mountain bike wheels and off-centre steering to really mix things up a bit. He has terrible luck with bikes. His last one lost the handle bars and the one before that, dubbed "Old Trusty" was the single most dangerous vehicle I've ever had the courage to set my gaze upon. Some say that Satan himself carved
French Colonial Ruins
An example of a shelled-out mansion. The ruins are like scars, acting as a constant reminder of what the Cambodian people endured. the bike out of the bones of the weak to remind mankind of it's fated mortality... most others have just never heard of it.
It was all downhill on the way there, which was brilliant because we didn't really have to do anything. As we arrived on the shore front we were fortunate enough to witness the bringing of the crab cages from the sea. Women dressed in very interesting headgear... bamboo woven across the top and sides of the head like a sombrero but then woven with fabric to cover as much of the head and neck as possible. Seafaring ninjas is possibly the most image provoking description I could use at this moment. They dragged baskets of blue tinted crabs up the rough sand and placed them on the ground. Within moments the place became a bustle of activity. I was one of the first to be offered a crab. It was alive, kicking it's claws about like it was trying to challenge me to some kind of genuine nautical crab-off in the sea. Obviously without a jacuzzi and appropriate swimwear, this was ridiculous so I politely declined and took a step back to observe the pros.
Villagers
The moment the crabs arrived from the ocean the place was a hive of activity. It was a great atmosphere. Restaurant managers haggled for the best crabs and for about 20 minutes these living creatures were used as a kind of breathing, kicking currency... it was pretty incredible. The atmosphere was warm and the people wore smiles across their faces, the stall sellers weren't pushy and the art of conversation wasn't just a prerequisite for a sale attempt. Kep, although used to tourists has thankfully not yet fallen to being completely reliant on the tourism trade. It's disheartening to see what proud people will do to make a sale, I think after awhile they forget themselves.
We carried on cycling through Kep for awhile and the signature of the Khmer Rouge was rife throughout the town. Their mark is a river of blood which yet runs through the heart of Cambodia - you can see the grim reminders everywhere you look. There are endless numbers of landmine victims unable to work, there are burnt out - shelled buildings and defaced temples. It's a very difficult thing to turn some of the beggars in Cambodia away - they've been through hell.
There is hope for Kep these days however... I'm concerned that this hope comes in the form of foreign investment in building self-contained holiday type resorts, but I'm hoping that this will be controlled and the dignity of the place will remain in tact. It's a beautiful little village which seems to have recovered most of its roots.
From Kep, we took the advice of one of the Cambodian guys working at our guesthouse and took a Taxi to Sihanoukville across 2 hours of fairly well kept roads. It was a good call. Sihanoukville is one of the more touristy areas in Cambodia and has three pretty nice beaches. We nearly hit a few dogs along the way and the driver dropped us off before the point we wanted... we tried to be polite and ask him to take us further to our destination... but as usual, suddenly the car couldn't make the road. He was lying so we paid him $5 less then we agreed and headed to our guesthouse. Suddenly the car could take us - but we told him where to shove it. I understand people need to make a living, but I'm not okay with people trying to take advantage like that. This is the negative side of the tourist industry I suppose... but its also a vital part of a struggling economy. It's above my head.
Anyway - I'm now in Sinahoukville typing this at 4am because our beds have genuine, 100% authentic bedbugs and we literally can't sleep at all. It's a full on infestation and is pretty awkward timing as we're up at 8 tomorrow morning. Not that sure where we're going to attempt to sleep tonight... bites... everywhere...they're in my raccoon wounds.
Many thanks for reading,
Chris
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booyah
non-member comment
there's always time for a family guy reference eh mammoth!? despite the bugs, still sounds like you're having an amazing time, you swine! i hate you with a passion you could only dream of!