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Published: March 4th 2008
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scuba diving
Yes that's me. I'm really doing this! I am not sure I can believe it. Ko Tao is a super small island, only about 10 miles acorss both ways. I am here to relax and enjoy and have a normal island vacation now. Well....not so fast. I obviously don't know myself if I think that's what I will do. I always get into something, somehow! I am on the ferry on the way over and I make friends with a cute Italian. He convinces me that I'm staying on the wrong part of the island and need to be near the action. Well...who is to argue with a cute Italian? But what he doesn't know is that I am not the average backpacker. Many of you have discussed this with me and know me. I try very hard to budget and be a backpacker, but it's just not for me. I am really more of a "traveler". 😊
So, the Italian and I hop in the box of a pickup truck and get dropped off on a dirt road. I'm thinking, "you expect me to walk this dirt road with my luggage??!!" Ok...I can be a good sport. No problem. I also had shared with my new friend on the ferry over that I intended
Let's do this!!
Me and my team members...I couldn't have done it without them! on trying scuba diving, since he is a master diver. I have always thought it would be an amazing life experience and I know Ko Tao is famous for it, actually the 2nd highest amount of divers in the world are certified here, over 40 dive shops on the small island. Well, he also tells me that I should be getting free accomodation with the diving class, so I cancel my other place and go for it. After 3 dive shops I settle on one since I really like the fun English girl selling me the package and I'm tired and want a room.
However, I really only wanted a "discover dive" which is a one day experience and not the 3 1/2 day class which is also about 4 times as much $$. And I really wanted a cute beach bungalow. But somehow I am talked into all this and end up starting my class that day for a quick video. Meanwhile, my luggage was stored at the first place. I have to walk through pouring rain to get my luggage and bring it back to the new "bungalow". I am sopping wet, and carrying heavy luggage, thinking,
a quick psychiatric session underwater
My instuctor counseling me through this. yes, I freak out every 5 minutes. Why would someone with anxiety do this?! Breathe...inhale, exhale...ahhhh. this is not for me. I am supposed to be picked up, someone else carries my luggage and I should not be in this situation. That damn Italian! Then I get back, I'm cold from being totally soaked in the rain, my clothes in my suitcase are soaked and I have HOMEWORK! I am supposed to be here to relax and have happy hour cocktails while watching the sunset! What is happening! So, I'm freezing in my wet clothes and go to take a shower! AAAAH! It's cold! No hot water here! (which is very typical for many places in Thailand and the Thai islands especially, particularly the budget places). I am also hating my disgusting little ugly bungalow. I go out that night and have lots of fun at a beach bar, actually run into my dive instructor to be in the bar. How funny. Then home to the bungalow and know I cannot take it. The next moring I check out of the bungalow. And I'm not sure I should be in this scuba course either. I tell them my concerns and my medical problems (sinuses, ears never pop, etc) and somehow I still end up doing it
after making 20 excuses not to. The instructor is super nice and convinces me even after he's heard all about my ADD and anxiety.
I move to a cute bungalow down the beach which I LOVE. Still a cold shower and has a gecko that lives with me, but I am happy here anyway. I walk the beach to scuba class every morning. I make friends with the 2 other students, who are wonderful and supportive with me as well, Frode (Norway) and Sohren (Denmark). After the first day's class, we go and lounge at a beach bar and watch the sunset while sipping everything from Thai beers to mai tai's to a dessert drink the "coconut lover" (baileys, kahluha shake)...yum!
Day 2 of the class we actually go for 2 dives. I am super nervous, but compare the breathing to yoga breathing and concentrate on that; it helps relax me and in the rare moments when I do relax I can see that this can be a beautiful and actually possibly peaceful and "yoga-esque" experience. Also, your body floating and feeling weightless is a beautiful feeling. So, I make it through the scuba class. 3 1/2 days
the team underwater
We are completely weightless...it's crazy. 9 am - 6 pm.
On day 3 of class, I pass my written test in the morning. And we have our final dives that afternoon to complete the course. I have a mini breakdown just as I begin my descent in the water. I don't know what's happening, but I have anxiety and I'm emotionally overwhelmed. Oh my God....I have to come up to the surface. I need air. I signal my instructor. He wants to know what the problem is, wants to help. He scolds me for not telling him while under water. He wants me to keep eye contact with him. I can't!! Oh my God, now I'm about to cry. I can't hold back the tears. I can't look at him or I will cry. I know I am ridiculous, but it's just uncontrollable overwhelming emotion. He watches me and knows it's bad; he tells me I don't have to do the dive I can go back on the boat. No! I'm going to do this. I've come this far. Ok, I descend again. I think why was I even about to cry? Now, I want to hysterically laugh at myself, but I better now
laugh since I have to concentrate on breathing and every time I laugh underwater, water seeps into my laugh lines around my mouth and gets in my mask and therefore, up my nose and in my eyes and the saltwater burns my eyes. So I go from holding back the tears to holding back the giggles. How crazy is all this! Ok...I'm fine. The fish and coral reef amaze me once again today. They have an underwater camera which I enjoy posing for in the water, so it's a nice distraction from my fear. I complete 2 dives that afternoon and get my card. I am a certified diver! Woohoo! I am proud of myself that I completed this; it wasn't the easiest thing for someone with anxiety issues. Now, the good part...the team (and my instructor and some gals from the dive shop go out to have drinks and dinner and celebrate!
The next day I "check myself in" to the spa for a full package. I've earned it! It is amazing as it overlooks the ocean and is built into the rocks. Back to bliss and relaxation for a couple days before I leave the island. I
need some beach time and then have more of the world to see....
(p.s. note that I did a couple videos on this blog entry. Check 'em out! 😊
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Ali
non-member comment
Totally understand!
I am totally with you on the anxiety during scuba diving. When I learned in the Dominican Republic I was getting claustrophobic in the pool! Then on the ride out to our ocean dive I was getting sea sick. BUT once I went under and cleared my ears the sound of my breath was so relaxing and that feeling of weightlessness was wonderful. So proud of you! Loved the videos! What a wonderful memory! Enjoy your spa treatments!!!