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Published: August 25th 2007
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devil
Could this be Ofir behind his amazing smile? So I took a extended vacation from writing my daily adventures and besides my one loyal reader and some of my family, I don't think anyone noticed. But since I tend to write for myself, more than anyone else, that's ok by me 😊
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I would like to start off by saying "oh my god, my body hurts like no other." To actually put my arms around someone in a hug is a bit much for me right now...I think Ofir (my trainer) is slowly trying to kill me. He stuck me on this jacked up routine and while ok, I see my muscles getting bigger and my stomach getting a tad smaller, it still hurts like a bitch.
See Ofir is this lovely chap, with muscles out to Turkey, bright smile and terrific laugh. On first glance, he looks innocent...the type of guy you'd bring home to mom. But really...he's a sadistic workout fiend. But he's really friendly about it, so you're not sure that when you're body is on fire, if you enjoy it or not because he does it with a SMILE. Ugh...but hey. I'm starting to look and feel better so I guess
Ahh.....
Sweet, sweet Yariv. You make me swoon. And I don't even have to put out! :) that's ok. No pain no gain they say.
Oh and on a side note, when I walk into a gym, specifically my gym (Great Shape in Kikar Rabin), I sometimes get confused. First of all, the first day I stood like a moron pulling on the door until somebody came up from below (oh yeah...my gym is underground - weird) and pushed a button which opens up the door. Duh. Apparently you have to ring the doorbell for them to open it up...you can tell I'm not a city girl. We don't have that new fangled crap where I come from. Ok...besides that. What I'm most confused about is the layout...nevermind I feel like I'm in a dance club with the lights and music, but it's all so cramped. Not to be all whiny and say "my old Great Shape was better" but Ra'anana was all nice and spread out, the machines made sense in what order they were in and you didn't have to worry about smacking the person next to you because you weren't shoulder to shoulder. Here you get up close and personal with the sweaty person next to you, all while the music is pumping
Exhibit A
Israeli driver #1. loudly and your body is on fire. Nice huh?
But.....they have awesome classes, an actual boxing ring for kickboxing, some cool machines, Ofir, and my massage therapist Yariv who has amazing hands. So...it has its perks. Plus they speak English to me, so that's always a plus as I navigate this language.
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Language: Yeah yeah...so I've been lazy. I haven't logged into my online ulpan in about a month and I haven't touched my books and they're getting dust on them. As of this second, I'm writing this blog instead of opening up the books which are laying next to me. Let me tell you, the fact that I took them off the shelf and put them next to me is a bigger step than I've taken in the past month, so sheket.
My comprehension keeps getting better and better but my speaking gets more retarded by the minute. I also have to warn people I'm about to say something in Hebrew so they can switch their mind from English to Hebrew. It's embarassing, it's like the school dance where you're hoping someone comes up to ask you to dance but then you shy
Exhibit B
Israeli driver #2. Notice the finesse in what they do... away because really, the thought of it happening is scary. Welcome to how I speak. The only time I don't care is when I'm drunk...and lets just say I refuse to spend the rest of my days under the influence just to speak a few sentences. Ugh.
I'm seriously considering doing a kibbutz ulpan. I'm toying with that idea and also toying with volunteering on the kibbutz which Mt. Hermon (the ski mountain) is housed on. That way I can teach skiing (which I already have done before) and stay on a kibbutz, have my room and such paid for, speak Hebrew and ski. Or.....I could actually send this application off I have to Switzerland, get a work visa, and work there. I don't know what I want to do. I'm a tad up in the air if you can't tell.
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Tel Aviv:
Let me reiterate. I AM NOT A CITY GIRL. I'm not a girl who chews straw and wears cowboy boots either, but I can't stand this constant noise.
Since the last post I wrote, I moved out of the mercaz klita. Halleluagh. Or however you spell that word. I was ready to smother my roommate in her sleep or punch her in the face. Drastic? Not the way it was going, she was lucky I didn't do it sooner.
But anyways....
I've moved down to the city that never sleeps. Which just by pure logic is not a smart idea for a girl who loves her sleep like it could be a job. If I could get paid to sleep, that would be my career and I'd be as happy as a pig in shit. Then during my waking hours, I'd fight fires (oh what a utopia that would be)
I live on Arlozorov Street, which if you know anything about TA, then you know this is one of the major roads in the city, which means it's constantly loud. Even Shabbat when public transportation (busses) shut down, it's loud. People have this honking problem in Israel. Their horns are connected to their brakes.
It goes like this:
step on brake, blare your horn for a straight 2-5 minutes, scream "kadima! kuscemik!! yalla yalla!" pump fist in air/give finger/stare murderously and then either drive around car/bus/biker/whatever in a fit of rage and then nearly cause accident in opposing lane but beep at them anyways because damnit, they were in your way!(no matter even if it was the opposite lane) No wonder Israel requires non-olim to take 28 driving lessons before you can even attempt your license. Driving in Israel is a contact sport. We also have the highest number of automobile accidents in the world. Awesome. Put that on the tourism posters.
Moving on, this is a daily thing in my apartment wake up series. Let's also not forget to mention that I live on the 4th floor (which for USA people, that doesn't include the bottom level, that is called the lobby or street level - I'm 4 above this, so to you, that would be 5 flights of stairs) and I have
no elevator. Yes...I don't have to do cardio at my gym anymore because I get it walking up and down my stairs in the sweltering heat, so it's a cardio workout + sauna all in one.
So my window faces the street, and since I have to keep my window open for a constant flow of air (I may die if I don't), the noise is always there. I miss the days when I could go to sleep and it was quiet. Wow, what a concept. Even living at the mercaz klita, it was quiet, with the exception of when Melissa would talk in her sleep. That was fun.
BUT....I have my own room, a full size bed, a big closet, a porch, washing machine, real kitchen with a stove, shower (gross and stained but I bleached the hell out of it) and a TV with usually steady wireless internet access. All for $300/month plus utilities. I share it with 2 other roommates who are cool and I'm here till end of October. It's a sublet and then I figure out where I go from here.
And...I am close (15 minute) walk to the beach, 10 minutes from my gym, 5 minutes from Sarah, 15 from Jen and the cafe next door serves non-kosher food and my "prostitute" sandwhich, so life isn't THAT bad :P
However...I will be moving. My love affair that never started, will be coming to an end at the end of October. We'll see what happens.
***
Ok...I have tons more to write, but that's good for now. Till then.
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AmiV
non-member comment
Funny and very true
this is the funniest story I read in a week. It's true about Tel Aviv feeling "cramped" but then you got to try some of the real cramped ones in Europe of Tokyo. If you feel like giving me some info on your gym or other places in Tel Aviv, please comment or e-Mail to my blog: http://israeltomorrow.blogspot.com -- I am writing about Tel Aviv in a piece meal way and trying to give a positive spin of living and visiting here -- enjoy the rest of the summer, whatever is left of it ;8~)' //AmiV