Advertisement
My wet dream.
Oh Claritin. Why must you not exist in Israel?
I want you so badly.
I would like to dedicate this entry to my nose, my stuffy head and my general unpleasant-ness that accompanies those parts of my anatomy.
You know....in America, I had asthma. I mean, I still have asthma (praise G-d if moving to Israel cured me of that), but I have never had any allergies except the stuff I was umm...allergic to.
Meaning, when I say I was allergic to cat dander that meant that when I came into contact with cats, I would have an allergic reaction somewhat. Not that Israel has
ANY shortage of cats….. Or when I say I'm allergic to bee stings, I would have to be stung in order to go into anaphylactic shock (lamans terms: swell up, lungs close, pretty much my whole body starts to die). But never just more than the occasional sneeze or so at the pollen in the air.
Well, this all seems to have changed since I have arrived in my beloved Eretz Y'Israel. Now, apparently it is my dream to wake up and be able to breathe out of my own two nostrils. This, in all honesty is not that much to ask for.
I went
Exactly.
This is precisely what I want to do. Crawl into a bathtub (which I don't have) and just hide.
to the pharmacist who prescribed me Loratadine, which is basically the main ingredient in Claritin or Benadryl, so armed with this logic, I truly believed that I would be saved and could stop my incessant whining that even I was getting annoyed at having to say. I didn’t want to carry around a roll of toilet paper anymore, for I was starting to get looks of someone who could not hold it till they reached a bathroom and in an emergency situation would be prepared.
Thinking salvation was near; I dutifully swallowed the pill and waited for some magic to happen. 2 hours later and I was still sneezing. I decided that perhaps my positive outlook was too ambitious and would wait another hour………that passed and…………I wanted to cut off my head.
This crap doesn’t work. Still, not be defeated I resolved to try the process again. But this time (!!) I would take 2 pills!! Surely, this must work.
…………………………………………………ta-dah!!!........................................................................
Defeat. I accept it. The snot backed up and infiltrated my head and I’m defeated. Let the headaches continue and my raw nose curl up and hide from the world. Damn you, olive tree pollen.
I model him.
I learned all my moves from this man.
Forget Crocodile Hunter...it's now Mosquito Hunter.
Damn you beautiful flowers and your horrible way of sending your babies into the beautiful sky.
I give up. You win.
Next up is bugs. I
hate bugs. I’m not a very big nature person. Now, I love walking around, hiking, water sports, etc. I can even handle camping when I’m in a cabin or tent. But what I can’t stand is bugs. Really….besides killing off other bugs and I’m sure some other scientific reason, what is their purpose?
They’re gross, they buzz around, they usually have a HUGE amount of creepy legs or antennas, and most bite or sting.
So armed with this knowledge, I hate bugs. But apparently…they love me.
I seem to have a “friend” who lives in my room. This “friend” is in the form of a blood thirsty mosquito. I have 8 bites all over my body and most of them are centered on my face. I look like I either have a bad case of teenage acne, or have some weird Israeli disease. Even my boyfriend said “what the hell happened to you?” Now, that’s romantic. Good thing he’s seen me better looking because holy hell, if
Damn Mosquitoes
This is my enemy.
His name is Jessi's death. that’s the response I get, then I just want to hide from society.
Every day for the past 3 days at 2am, I am rudely awoken by the vicious sound of buzzing in my ear. I swat away the noise and hope he goes away. Instead, it just seems to anger him more and we play this cat and mouse game of “Mosquito Hunter”. I could give Steve Irwin a run for his money. The other night I thought I got him by the classic clapping of the hands together to kill him, because I didn’t hear the buzzing anymore.
But then I woke up and found another bite. Bastard.
We shall see if the heat kills him this weekend. Because I apparently cannot.
Lag B’Omer is here. It’s a time that celebrates the death of a famous Rabbi in which we commerate by lighting bonfires all over Israel, BBQ’ing and getting drink happy.
As a firefighter, I want to be in a department already so that I can work this holiday, but since that is taking awhile to get started, I will consent to just enjoy the bonfire.
Speaking of fire departments, mine back in the States seems to be moving along with RIT but also in somewhat of shambles. We’ll see what happens.
I miss the fire department.
Advertisement
Tot: 0.13s; Tpl: 0.016s; cc: 9; qc: 49; dbt: 0.0509s; 1; m:domysql w:travelblog (10.17.0.13); sld: 1;
; mem: 1.1mb
mommy
non-member comment
great articles
you should write a book and makes lots and lots of money and live off the royalties!!!!! love you lots mom