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Published: April 30th 2007
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In a recent phone conversation, Dad asked me about the television over here. Although the television does not normally play an important role in our lives, we have been watching a bit of it lately, and it has been a fascinating experience, so here’s a wrap up on the drug of the nation: there are over 35 channels for our perusing pleasure, most of them containing the ideal content to make your brain turn into gruel. A lot of bad American movies, un-funny sit-coms, courtroom drama’s, soapies, reality shows, cop/medical shows, infomercials, lifestyle shows and religious (Christian, Hindu, Muslim) guru’s preaching. There is a very strange channel that seems to be a men’s magazine in TV format - featuring people hurting themselves and blowing things up around half naked attractive women 24/7. There is this very strange mock fighting show, where two beefy guys wearing glittering g-strings pretend to kill / knock each other out, but it is all carefully choreographed and acted. Maybe we have this on Australian cable TV, but I am not a cable TV subscriber so I would not know. Very strange. Then there is the other, very scary and very real version, where they fight
until someone gives up or gets knocked out, without any rules that I am aware of. You can watch people have the consciousness knocked out of them on prime time TV. Even stranger. If you do happen to find something decent among this muck, it will still consist of an annoying ratio of ads, setting you up for the trap of switching channels, forgetting what channel you were watching, and not finding it again until the credits are on.
I have learnt a lot from North American television. I have learnt that if my hair is dead and limp there are numerous volumising, de-flattenising, enlivening treatments available to bring life back to it. Mmm… bring life BACK to hair, which is, by its nature DEAD, is very scary. Why are there not products to bring finger nails back to life? Oh, but that is not even the start of it. I now know that I not only have to worry about my bulges, my cellulite, my stretch marks, the pores in my skin, the hair on my body, my wrinkles and my fashion sense. I also need to worry about CROWS FEET around my KNEES and ELBOWS! So, correct
me if I am wrong, but we need spare skin around joints so that we can BEND our limbs? Yes? Next, there will be a line of women trying to get botox injected into their joints, then there will be a line soon after of women wanting to sue because they can no longer walk or use their arms.
I can’t let all the exercise TV shows go without a mention either. They don’t just do aerobics and palates here. There is everything right through to yoga-booty. A very strange dance that is supposedly based somewhere on the ancient practice of yoga. I doubt the instructor has much insight into Hindu philosophy or even knows any Sanskrit words. I mean there is a move called the “naughty kitty”.
You know what we can’t find on all of our 35 plus channels? Any Australian sport. I have to admit, I have lost my interest. Following scores on the Internet is not the same as being able to watch games with a bunch of friends. We were hoping to watch the world cup cricket final though, as it was good timing - Saturday, our time. Rumour had it that a
Penny Lane (the climb)
In Penny Lane there is a crack showing fingerprints
Of every hand he's had the pleasure to know.
And all the people that come and go
Stop and say hello. pub not too far away from us in Deep Cove had bought the rights to the game and had been showing it. We had ridden past it a few weeks ago and I remembered seeing a painting of a cricket player hanging outside the pub, and thought it might be worth checking into. I called the pub on Friday night, before the final, and I was trying to ask the guy who answered the phone whether they were showing the cricket in the morning. “The What?” he yelled back. “The Crick-et,” I said again. “The wha-, oh, ummm.. mmm… Hang on”. You could hear the thought processes in the pauses. Cricket, what’s that? Oh, hang on, I know, it’s that weird game where they all wear white and stand around doing not much. Actually, I think I have seen it on the TV here. I’ll have to go ask someone.
Then the owner gets on the phone, and the conversation was short and simple. “You want to know about the cricket? No we are not showing it. I am South African.” At least he knew what cricket was. But I mean, really, so you lose and then you don’t
Penny Lane (the climb)
On the corner is a climber with a piton,
The little children laugh at him behind his back.
And the climber never wears a mack
In the pouring rain, very strange.
show it in your pub anymore. Of course that is what you would do… ??!!
Ok, ramble over. Time to go out and experience Canadian grocery shopping. That’s another ramble for another day.
Oh, we went climbing yesterday at the bluffs again. I thought that maybe you’ve all seen enough of my ass, so here are some pics of Jono’s instead.
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Denise
non-member comment
What about radio??
Hi Dahns - ABC radio does live streaming to the internet. Maybe shoud try to find out more about it to get sport coverage?? On Sundays there is that Program "Macka all over" which is just SO quintessentially Australian. You could get it cause it would be on your Saturday maybe? ALSO ABC radio has somethings in podcasts that you can download at any time. Might be a way to get a bit of a dose of aussie?? Maybe have a look at ABC website? I listened to most of that cricket final on my radio- I find that cricket is even better than meditation music when I am sleepless!!! LOts love to you both - ME