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Published: January 18th 2007
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Since my last entry, we travelled to a city that I cant for the life of me remember what it was called. I can tell you that it is famous for its historical ruins, and we spent a little more than 24 hours there, cycling around such sites . I enjoyed the peddling in the warm 'winter' breeze and admiring the old temples. You could smell 'old', and feel an energy that i can only describe as past spirits lingering.
We are now in Ko Pha Ngan, which is a smallish green island in the south of Thailand. We have decided to plonk ourselves here for 2 weeks, to soak up the Christmas heat and party hard for New Year, Full Moon Party, as the comming event proudly claims that it will be the biggest beach party in the world.
From Bangkok, we travelled for over 15 hours, on a bus - which in comparison to Indian, was a luxury-delight on wheels, and then we spent a rocky 4 hour Ferry trip, in which hundreds of similar party-seeking travelers sprawled on the decks, happily screaming when the big frothy waves soaked our tiered bodies.
We arrived to
Buddha has found his match!
This is the city that I cant remember the name of, but as you can see the histrorical ruins are beautiful our destination, to be greeted by a beautiful little house/hotel room, with a lush cool pool, pretty restauruant. You literally step into the sea from the hotel grounds. Ahh
Merry Christmas to you all. The days creeped closer to Christmas, without the buzz or hype you feel at home. I enjoyed the mellow vibe. On Christmas Eve, we all went to a chilled out - pillows-on-the-floor kinda bar, and got home early next day. Last thing I recall was speaking to the dogs, in true dog language on our balcony before I went to sleep. (err?)
We are all creatures of habit, and therefore followed the traditional Crimbo routine of opening presents, attempting Christmas dinner, failing misserably, and then talking tirelessely on the phone, wishing everyone well. That evening, we went down to the beach and sat staring at the stars and occasionally paddling in the waves. All day and night we wore our light-up Santa hats -my only real indication that it was Christmas. It was nice have a Christmas day that wasnt expected to be anything more than it was.
Today we started our Open Water Scuba Diving Course. It was great fun. I
feel like an explorer, away to uncover the unknown. Do you know that academics know more about the moon than the ocean, upon which covers 78% of the earth?
I had to explain to my instructor, that ever since I saw Jaws, ive had a fear of the water (more specifically sharks), Even throughout our swimming aventures ive been unable to swim too far from the bay. However, what made trekking tremendous, was that i felt scared at some points. I felt the fear, and did it anyway. Of course im not reckless, but felt a buzz after pushed myself to acheive mygoals. Tommorow i will be scared, but this is the year to break past my own boundaries, and shoot forward towards a different dimension of traveling and adventure.
My feet have hardened through my travels, and I am almost able to sleep anywhere, in any situation. I can twist my body into a riduculous position and manage to find sleep these days. As for my toilet training, im practically a Squatting Master, and can almost sit comfortably in such a position that Asian toilets require and aim for the bull's eye. I dont usually know what time it is, or what day of the week it is. It doesnt matter anymore. I love hearing my flipflops patter on the different turfs of life. This life is gental and free. Every door way swings open, its only a matter of gliding from one place to the next. Its always about letting go. Ive had to let go of my fears, my friends, my comforts, places that make my heart soar, familiar local bars and particularly for the momment a boyfriend who made me dizzy with happiness. Its a magnified perspective of life. Every book that I have read on spiritual life urge for lack of attachment, and it is much better to let go than hold on to things that are not in the here and now.
I also have a great sense of loosing myself. People say that you go travelling to find yourself, but I feel the opposite. At home, I know who I am, a 23 year old girl who studied Psychology and worked as a support worker. I went out on the weekends and was in general happy, but never content. All this hogwash has washed away now. New experiences bring a new understanding to the self. All my credentials I once felt important are no longer releveant. I am who I am at this momment. There is no performance anymore no pretending, it doesnt matter where i came from, what people think of me, whos reality is correct, or where I am going. I will live life with love. Its almost too easy. If you walk down the street smiling, people look at you as if you have gone mad!Now this doesnt matter to me anymore. I feel a great sense of freedom and detachment.
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The Meaning Of Life
Emmachan. How right you are about what you were and what you have become. With all the "feel the fear and do it anyway" that you have experienced, you are finding out who you really are and what is really important in life. Hurry back and enlighten us all xxx