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El Obelisco
Av 9 de Julio, Buenos AiresFebruary to May 2006
Previously unpublished (well, mostly) soundbites, private jokes, annoyances and snaps of a Latin American advenutre
(Spanish subtitles available on request, mas o menos)!?
"Butterflies and Hurricanes" in my ears on the take off at Heathrow, confirming my suspicions that this just had to be done. It's a song by Muse by the way.
Being put on the spot on only my second night out in Buenos Aires by a couple of Argentinos asking me to describe Maradonna with a one word answer..............eek!
Unwittingly, slagging off The Time Out guide book for BA to the two guys that wrote it (before I actually knew who they were). This was, thankfully, taken in good humour.
Nancho, a guide, singing Boca Juniors football songs as we ambled through the streets of Argentina's capital on a walking city tour that ended...... in Boca (yep, you guessed it), where he lived!
Fitting myself, a six foot Swiss guy, two back packs, two day packs, the long guys guitar and surfboard in to a rather unhappy Porteños tiny taxi.
Spanish school friends from all over the world enhancing my learning experience no end.
Independiente Passion
Vs River, 12th March '06 Salud guys, keep in touch and keep that beer count going boys! ;-)
Worrying for a nervous German girl at Iguazu bus station who seemed scared of her own shadow but was still traveling solo. Now that's what you call feeling the fear and doing it anyway, fair play.
Having the back of my shirt covered in hundreds of Mosquitos in The Pantanal, despite being smothered in Deet and then, watching the Daddy of them all bite me through the, supposedly, anti-mossie treated material.
Galloping (ok, probably just cantering- I wouldn't know the difference, all I do know is that it was bloody quick) after only an hour and a half on a horse- I must be a natural!
Having a birthday bracelet made for me by our native Indian guide in Brazil, skillfully crafted using only a huge knife and made solely from an Aloe leaf that was growing in the swamp just an hour before.
Being relieved that "The Death Train" didn't deserve it's reputation.
"Cama" buses (meaning with seats that turn in to beds) that vary
e-v-e-r so slightly in standards from country to country. In some "Cama" might as well
read as Camel! South America has never heard of The Trades Descriptions Act.
Breaking out of the Potosi blockades to catch a bus that I wished I'd never caught.
Eating pizza three nights in a row because you've got a dodgy stomach and you only trust the one eating establishment in the whole town not to re-poison you (Uyuni).
The tour agent chasing us down the street to sign us up for our salt flats tour with only an hour to spare before it left.
Dopey brits riding one-handed to take scenic pictures whilst hurtling down "The World's Most Dangerous Road." HELLO! a 4,000 foot drop WILL kill you......Muppets!
Loving the "shuffle" feature on my MP3 player because of moments like when, returning soaking wet and freezing from Isla del Sol, it randomly selects "Cold Day in The Sun" by the Foos.
Being forgiven for a language faux pas by a young Peruano after talking to him about his Mum and Dad for ten minutes before realising that I had mis-heard him, and they weren't, in actual fact, at home sleeping, as suggested by his body language and gestures, and they were, (obviously now)
Trucking Around
in The Pantanal in VERY actual fact, dead.
Being as close to death as I ever hope to get without actually achieving it at Machu Picchu.
Ordering food at Lima's Burger king, where they take your name when they take your money and when your food is ready they shout at you across the restaurant to come and get it (even if you're the only one in the place and it's obvious it's yours)!
Marvelling at the amount of large screens in the sports bar in Buenos Aires and laughing at the one in the toilet in The Corner Bar in Miraflores, which was a tad excessive in my book.
Erratic and mainly non-existant hot water in accomodation's showers and, in one case, having to pick the lock to get IN to a bathroom with a pair of scissors, dismissively supplied by the Hotel's receptionist as if it was an every day occurrance..........probably was!
Riding, standing up in the back of a taxi-truck from highland Volcano craters to the port on The Galapagos.
Leaning further and further away from the window of a bus (outside Guayaquil) as the scraping noises between it and the juggernaught heading in
to the same lane as us got loud enough to be worrying.
Laughing at Ecuadorian road signs that have a graphic of the Grim Reaper on them then, realising the iriony of the situation as you try to take a photo of one but are traveling far too fast to catch it on film.
Drinking from glasses with very large measures in them which tend to make the day after the night before a tadge worse than you're used to. Of course, it never helps if you only go out for a couple and end up getting in as the rest of the world goes to work!
Having enough of people's attitude to money: Constantly moaning that you don't have the right change, even if you're handing over a fiver (in ANY currency) for a bill of $4.50! Having to catch a cab for a two block trip because you'd be asking for a mugging if you walked (but, didn't the taxi ride perform a mugging of sorts anyway)? Being charged two different prices on two different days for the same thing which makes you realise you were ripped off the first time you bought what ever
Cool Capybaras
Biggest Rodent in the world, apart from my mate Mouse. No, wait... they're bigger! it was. And generally having a go at fleecing the Gringo for as much as you possibly can get. I wonder if I would act any differently if I were in their shoes- struggling to put food on the family's plate at the end of every day? I seriously doubt it.
Jumping out of your skin when a Copper blows his whistle to get the traffic moving, or to halt it, or to prevent some dodgy parking, or to have someone park in a specific place, or to chastise a jay-walking pedestrian, or to help a pedsestrian cross a busy road, or to get the attention of his mate at the next junction, or for, seemingly, any bloody reason what-so-ever! Or, of course, for my favorite reason of all....... absoloutely no reason at all. Honestly, it drives you mad but, this is still second (just) on the most annoying repetative noises list for the region, behind the beep of a Latin American taxis horn;
In my early days I would acknowledge the attention with a polite nod then, raising my hand in the universally understood, palm up, no thanks gesture, I would gently shake my head and in
Concentrate, concentrate...........
Oh, Bugger! spelt my name wrong again! my very best silent Spanish mouth the words "No gracias."
Now, I politely mutter "F**K OFF" while thinking (sometimes out loud); "No, I don't want a cab and even if I did I would have got in to one of the fifty or so that have already beeped in my general direction since my feet hit the pavement 100 meters ago, wouldn't I?. And, in any case, what in god's name makes you think that, given the choice, I'd get in your particular smoke-belching, rust-ridden, cockroache infested, death-trap of a car when I've only just told the driver of the cab ten feet in front of yours where to get off when he beeped at me. And, you watched me do that 'cos you're sitting right behind him in a stationary line of rush hour traffic consisting mainly of poxy, little, yellow, BEEPING, B*****D TAXIS!!!!-
I DON'T WANT A CAB, LEAVE ME ALONE!!"
FOOTNOTE: Sorry about the swearing Mum (and to anyone else with sensitive ears) but, it is rather irritating and, in any case, it's not really swearing if you asterix out the offending letters, is it? Besides, the little F**kers deserve all the abuse they get!! ;-)
Still Life
Compare with the previous snap... good innit?! Having the friendliest and most interesting chats of my entire trip with Taxi drivers........ Great people, gotta love 'em!
Doing your best to break down the language barrier, starting with such high hopes and achieving such low results. Personally, I blame my limited abilities for re-calling information. Although, I firmly believe that we all have photographic memories, I think it's just that people like me have a bit of a tough time developing the pictures we took.
Along the same lines- having trouble understanding is one thing but, being convinced that the one song forming the major part of your soundtrack to a continent is performed by a hardcore Latin Rap outfit only to find out that the track is "Pump It" by The Black Eyed Peas, is purely down to pretty poor listening on my part.
And finally, when you're sitting in a Chinese restaurant, in a north Peruvian coastal town, drafting a blog entry centering on the randomness of south America and your meal arrives in huge, Pyrex, casserole dish (like the one your Mum used to make stew and dumplings in), you instinctively know you're hitting the proverbial on the head!
I
have loved the randomness and the differences in the way of life I have experienced here but, nearly four months is enough. I am off to pastures new to find some different different things. It's time to change countries, continents, maybe even hemispheres..................
See you all on the other side.
Keep scrolling down for more pics (if you're interested in seeing them, that is)!
Gracias y buenos noches America del Sur, hasta luego mis amigos...............
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Andrew Freeman
non-member comment
che beludo!
Hey Ian, way to go on the readable entry's, I've never made it through anyone elses before. Thanks for the photo shoutout with the shotgun pic, that was a helluva trip. Glad to know you felt the same way about the damn Peruvians, and their go**d**n cabbies. I'm surprised at the restraint you showed in your descriptions and swearing, we've said much worse. Jackie said it in spanish. Adios for now