Cusco, Day 2 - Machu Picchu

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Day 2 - Machu Picchu

How could I leave out the most amusing and at the same, romantic part of this entire trip? Michelle and I had the pleasure of sharing one single bed, pretty much the entire time we were in Peru . I know many of you are trying to visualize this right now. We had the honeymoon suite at our hostel in Cusco , which I must say, was just perfect for two people, who happen to be lovers. Michelle and I played the lovers part very well. We often cuddled to keep each other from getting pneumonia at night. Our Peruvian host forgot to mention that Cusco temperatures at night go down to something around 0 degrees, and so we never packed any warm clothes, at all. So our three nights spent in Cusco looked like this: single bed, Michelle and I wearing our warmest clothes, in the middle, wrapped in towels and 5 thermal blankets. Besides gasping for air in the middle of the night due to lack of oxygen, we also had to worry about freezing to death. But, this still didn't stop us from having the greatest time.

Another small detail that

I think is important to mention: toilet paper cannot be flushed. Hmmm? So what do you suggest we do, Michelle and I pondered. Well, you take the used toilet paper, wrap it up in some clean toilet paper, and simply discard into the garbage can nearby. Nice, McLovin. Real smooth. (Don't tell anyone, but we definitely did not adhere to this rule, as it was too gross for even the two of us.) We'll get back to this issue later...

Moving on to the next morning… it's 6am. Michelle and I are in the kitchen, excited about the day to come, although I battled a 104 degree fever all night. So the hostel owners left us 4 stale bread rolls, butter, and some more of the stankin' Coca tea, which Michelle and I are certain was brewed in dirty sock water. We attempt to take a bite of bread because we know we have a lot of walking ahead of us. All leftovers that we don't finish, I did as my grandmother taught me to do and stuck them in my backpack so we can eat later when we are stranded on a mountain. We wait for the remainder of our group, and then take the taxi over to what I think was the train station. It was only 6:30 am, and the train station was pure chaos. There was no line formation, no ticket booths, just people everywhere trying to get in the train. I don't know why, because the entire time we were in that train, all we wanted to do was get the hell out! It was the longest, weirdest, train ride ever. The seats were in groups of 4, facing in towards each other. So the entire trip we were knee to knee with our travel buddies, whom we are more than sure hated us and our continual singing, laughing and all around lunatic behavior. Now, in order for the train to get down from Cusco, since Machu Picchu is at a lower level, it had to zig zag down the mountain. So we would pass the same people two times before even moving anywhere. This went on for 4 hours. Zig zagging through little poor village with hundreds of stray dogs, it really helped us see how the Peruvians live up in the mountains. I don't know if it's just me, but they all seemed pretty darn happy for not having a roof on their house and no running water. But hey, who am I to judge?? I was born in MOLDOVA!! So the ride goes on, and it's now almost 12 in the afternoon. We arrive to good ol' Machu Picchu . The Inca G-ds must have known we were coming, because as soon as we stepped out of the train, the sky opened up and it started pouring! So clearly we had to buy the rainbow colored ponchos. On we go to search for our guide with the "green" flag. Also, to our luck, our guide decided to take the day off and sent his wife, who spoke no English. After walking back and forth 3 times to find our group, we decide to grin and bear it, keeping our heads up and trooping ahead; after all, it's Machu Picchu . We find the designated bus to take us up to the mountain. Honestly, did you guys think we were going to hike up? It's a one lane road all the way up, for two way traffic. No guardrails, no mirrors, no seatbelts. It was just one road up the mountain, with buses going in both directions, one heading right for the other in a phycotic game of Peruvian chicken. We sat back, closed our eyes, and held hands. At least if we died, we would be together. We make it to the top, alive! I immediately have to pee because I was scared shitless; however I have to borrow money since they now charge to use the toilet in Peru .

On top of Machu Picchu , we again wait for another English tour guide to take our poor non Spanish speaking butts up the mountain. I did catch my name in the midst of roll call: " Michelle Minieri " which sounds so sexy with the Peruvian accent...I yell back "Aqui Aqui" (our Spanish has grown...add another word to our list). Finally, Alfredo comes to our rescue and sweeps us away into the clouds of Machu Picchu . We start climbing. Well, it was more like just walking up stairs, I tend to exaggerate, but it was still very difficult especially for the people who couldn't breathe, aka Inna. We reach a couple of llamas chilling at the top. Picture opportunity for sure, we begin to snap. Enter weirdo who grabs my camera and takes over 10 exactly same pictures of the two of us, smirking and mumbling to himself...we wonder what he's zooming in on and decide to ignore and just smile. On we go, Alfredo is talking about his Inca ancestors in the background. I am holding on to Inna so she don't lose balance and fall off the cliff; although I am the one with the history of losing balance. (Bar-stool, ask me and I will explain). The scenery is truly breathtaking, and no picture will ever do Machu Picchu justice even though we take 200 of the same scenery over and over again. It's just one of those places that you all have to see for yourselves. How the people lived on top of this gigantic mountain is completely beside me. We kind of wish we paid more attention to Alfredo, because we still don't really know what Machu Picchu is all about. But, honestly, it didn't matter. We were there, in the clouds, taking pictures with llamas and rocks. Best date, ever (we pretend kiss, making a group of travelers almost fall off the cliff - sorry!). Mid-tour, I begin to feel like I might just faint. We sit on a rock. Me in my red poncho and Michelle in the purple, looking like the strawberry and grape from Fruit of the Loom, waiting for Alfredo to shut the hell up, and tell us that we can go back. Michelle sees the pain in my eyes and the greenish hue in my face and immediately takes my backpack. If it wasn't for her, I would definitely tumble down that mountain, and be buried in the Indian burial ground along with the other Incas. At this point it is late afternoon, with the only nurishment being a few bites of the stale bread rolls from our hostel and the scank Coca tea...we're dying. Why can't there be vendors in the corner of the ruins? I attempt to locate the rolls I took earlier but realize they must have either fell out or I got robbed. Michelle continues to pull me along like a dead llama while 90 year old men are jogging past us up the steps. With total delirum set in though, I really don't care...I continue to give Michelle dirty looks as she proceeds to take 100 more pictures of me in this state. We finally start making our way back to the buses, to get our "free" lunch. HA! Joke on us. There was no free lunch and we was bitter. Traveling on a very tight budget, things like this really mattered. But, we suck it up and get grilled goat cheese sandwiches with ham. The Peruvian beer really hit the spot (from this point on we now only drink cusquenas). Enter weirdo, again, who we ate lunch with. But his was free. At least he offered to share his strawberry mousse with us.

On the way back to the train we pass another pharmacy. A light bulb went off, and I wanted to give this pharmacy a shot. Thinking that since we're on this mountain, where the Incas used to snort and drink cocaine all day long, they definitely have to have some cool drugs for us. So in we go, and I end up buying a stronger version of Tylenol this time. I guess we just weren't explaining ourselves right. "Ouch" and "We need something to knock us the f*ck out," definitely didn't do the trick. We go back to wait for the train. With time to spare we order our new regular drink and try to meet locals. End up talking to California dude who turns out to be really nice...oh well, train pulled in at that moment and we ran to catch our ride.

The train ride back was 100 times worse than the ride up. It started off OK, playing karoke with our iPods for our entire carriage. We know the yelling in Spanish was encouragement for us to continue, or perhaps requests for specific songs...either way we order more Cusquenas and try to make the most of it. About an hour into the trip, the AMS (acute mountain sickness) started kicking my ass. I put head between my legs and prayed that it would go away. Michelle had to get wet toilet paper for my head as my 104 fever came back full force. I don't remember much else, although when I did regain consciousness from time to time, I saw Michelle arguing with a group of Europeans - I guess I either couldn't speak or didn't care as I then closed my eyes and put my head back in my lap for the duration of the trip. Meanwhile Michelle continues her argument with the Europeans on why they scored more Cusquenas, because clearly the train attendant told me they were out. She realizes she was lied to, but drinks merrily with the Europeans as I lay dying next to her.

Back at the hostel, we make the best decision yet - cancel our next day's 12 hour tour starting at 6am. We find horseback riding tours in the countryside and somehow set this up, all the while speaking our pretend Spainsh vocabulary consisting of now 5 words. We don't even attempt to go out, instead opting for spooning in our single bed. Good thing we stayed indoors because I came close to death, literally. The crazy burning and freezing disease came out in full force and left me shaking in bed. I guess the heat from my scarlet fever woke Michelle up and at 5am we decided it would be a good idea to try to cool me down to somewhere in the low 100s, although Michelle secretly enjoyed the new found heat and pretended I was my electric blanket. With a cold wet towel on my face and our special Peruvian tylenols I started to come back to reality. Thank god for the honeymoon suite so Michelle could care for me like my mama!

Day 3 is on its way...full of surprising moments (horses crapping on me) and new foods (random pieces of grass that we were forced to eat).

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Photos

Stairs
Deathly stairs to our honeymoon suite

Our bed
Our one and only bed in Cusco, Peru

Train Station, Machu Picchu
This is when the sky opened up and it started raining cats & dogs.. well dogs only, because Peruvians hate cats.

Welcome
We made it, ALIVE!!!

Walking up
The "hike" to the top of mountain...(more like walking up the stairs)

Llama
Chillin' at top of mountain

Alfredo
Talking about his Inca ancestors

Ponchos
Fruit of the loom ponchos

Us
One of the many "us" photos

Window
This is before I was super sick...getting artistic with the camera ;)