Chacha and Kuelap

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So we got up at bastard oclock in the morning and were driven, along with a Canadian couple, to a picturesque river valley where another group of trekkers had been camping out the night before. The idea was for us to join them the rest of the way. A couple of times we had to get out and walk so the car could make it through a particularly nasty looking stretch of mud, but by now we had become accustomed to this. I slightly flipped my shit when I realised that the other group contained two 12 year old kids who would be doing the trek with us, along with their parents. Generally speaking I don´t like children, but these were well behaved and did not annoy me or attempt to communicate with me, possibly because they could sense my hostility. We sat next to the car and watched the rest of the group attempt to make their way across the valley to meet us, occasionally falling into rivers or being chased by bulls for our amusement.

The first day we mostly walked along a ´pre inca´road, which is like an Inca trail only shitter. I´m sure it was very impressive at one point, but now it´s just a steeply ascending and descending landslide of rubble. Anyway it was fun to hike, if a little precarious. The trail took us out of the valley up to the hills then into the lovely jungly clouds. We then went off road into the forest, which was exciting. Our guide took us to see some ruins still hidden in the jungle. He claims to be one of the "first 15" people to visit this set of ruins when they were discovered. The fact that he used such a specific number makes me more inclined to believe that he´s telling the truth. Archeologists discovered this vast ruined pre inca settlement about 5 years ago, but for some reason never obtained the funding to excavate properly so it remains completely overgrown and inaccessable in a very exciting Indiana Jones Lost Temple kind of fashion. We spent a couple of hours exploring, scrambling along following the path the guide hacked with a machette. I´m not going to lie, I thought it was well cool. My attempts to take artistic shots of crumbling ruins photogenically intertwined with vines and tree roots mostly failed, so you´ll just have to take my word for it.

After we´d all had fun jumping around pretending to be in Tomb Raider, we carried on climbing the crumbly road of ankle pain until we emerged from the undergrowth to a gorgeous view over the hills. We then had to make our way back down (occasionally on our arses) to the tiny village where we were to spend the night. Much to my delight, we were staying on a teeny little COFFEE FARM so I got to witness the magical production of my favourite beverage, as well as drink as much as I could, which was a lot after 8 hours walking. There were a lot of guineapigs running around the kitchen which made some of the group a little nervous, but in fact we were served the not so traditional peruvian dish of spag bol. The farm house was one of those contructed entirely of mud and sticks which looks structurally impossible but seems to work just fine. We had a good nights sleep in a comfortable bed, after I had mercilessly de-spidered the room.

The next day was supposed to be spent horse riding. Coming from Vilcabamba I had high expectations, but the the "horses" we were provided with turned out to be an entirely random selection of four legged creatures owned by the local villagers. Some were strong, reasonably sized animals, the fastest of which Kit cleverly laid claim to. I was a little slow that morning, so I got stuck with some kind of knackered old mule, who I affectionately nicknamed Bastardy McRatbag - The Gringo Hater. While Kit and the others with obediant, non asthmatic horses raced off ahead, I had to be driven along by one of the local kids who spent 6 hours poking my noble steed up the bum with a pointy stick, because this was the only way of encouraging any movement. At first I felt really, really sorry for the poor animal, but after a while I lost all patience and decided that it was just a lazy stubborn bastard. It also kept purposefully dragging me into low hanging branches, spiderwebs and all manor of cacti and spikey plants. Honestly, it was deliberate. The thing hated me. Aside from the minor difficulties with transport, it was still a really good day. More of the same kind of scenary, and another side trek to see more ruins. Our guide warned us that these ones were "quite inaccessable". Having become accustomed to his idea of what is considered accessable, we translated as meaning we were unlikely to return alive. Those of us who were fit enough, or throught we were, gave it a go anyway, and it was pretty awesome. He showed us a burial site supposedly containing human bones. Aparently there used to be more but pesky shamens keep nicking them for healing ceremonies. Me and Kit had a look and were forced to admit that after three years of medical training we are unable to tell the difference between centuries old human bone and a recently deceaced donkey. We decided to go along with what the guide was saying and back up his claims with our expert opinion.

We stayed the second night at a village near Kuelap, the biggest and most famous set of ruins the area has to offer. We were sleeping at 3000ish meters, which was about the highest I´d ever been. We bought some coca leaves, the kind the locals chew to help with the altitude. They make your mouth go numb and your teeth go green, but I remain unconvinced of any beneficial effect on altitude sickness. Me and Kit, plus Cameron and Catherine the Canadian Couple, decided to get up at 4am to make it to Kuelap for sunrise. Walking up was very dark, fucking freezing and I scared myself half to death almost tripping over a sleeping llama (he wasn´t happy either), but it was well worth the effort. We had to sneak in because the ticket office wasn´t open (we went back down to pay later - we weren´t stealing culture, honest), then climbed up to the top and watched the sun rise. We were the only people there for hours. You just don´t get that kind of privacy at Machu Pichu.

I´m not going to go on about Kuelap because I think most of the people likely to be reading this (my friends who have computer access at work and tire of facebook) are probably sick of me talking about pre-incan civlisation by now, but suffice it to say it´s a massive fortress settlement that´s currently about half excavated and is supposed to be the "new Machu Pichu". It allegedly contains more stone than the egyptian pyramids. I have no idea how anyone worked that out, but it does have wandering llamas which the pyramids most certainally do not, and that gives it the edge in my opinion. So in summary it is big and old and situated perfectly at the highest point for panoramic views in all directions, basically very impressive. Our very knowlagable guide who knows everything about anything that has ever happened, ever, gave us detailed lectures (in Spanish) about all aspects of the site, and then all trekked out, we made our way back down to get the bus back to Chachapoyas.

After arriving back in Chacha we joined forces with C&C the Canadians for Pizza and a journey to Trujillo. We later found out through the magic of facebook that one of them went to school for 6 years in Toronto with our friend Matt, who we now live with in Leeds. Love those freaky small world experiences.

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Photos

Butterfly
A baby one we found that had just hatched out and was drying it´s wings.

The First Photo of Me
In the jungle temple, looking at bit startled.

Day One
The river valley at the start of the trek.

Wasps Nest
Horrendously large wasps nest outside our room at the farm. Aparently they just live in harmony with it. I could not live in harmony with the spider I found in my room. He had to go.

Antimalarial Tree
Out guide told us this red bark is what you should chew if you don´t want to get malaria. Me and Kit tried some, but we prefer Malarone. Don´t always put stuff in your mouth just cause your guide tells you to. It´s not always a good idea.

Sunrise Photo
These pretty much inevitably come out looking shit.

And Again
Just to try and show the scale of the thing...