Creepy Colombian Clowns

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Geo: 4.60987, -74.082

Clowns - does anybody actually like them? Are there any children in the world who have not suffered irreparable psychological damage as a result of encountering one? Strange and sinister, faces painted white like a ghost - whoever came up with the idea that a clown is an ideal person to have at a child's birthday party? Somebody sadistic, that's who!

If you watched the movie It as a child, Pennywise the Dancing Clown scared the crap out of you. You probably still have nightmares about his disfigured smile, mouth full of grotesque, bloody fangs. You probably don't look down at sewer grates, for fear that you'll see Pennywise trying to lure you in to kill and eat you. In fact, you probably pee your pants just a little bit any time you see a Ronald McDonald statue when you're picking up some artery-clogging food at McDonald's - ok, maybe that's just me, but you get the point!

Clowns were everywhere in Bogota today, but not just any old clowns - they were Colombian clowns. What does that mean? Well ... some of them could dance. Really well. Crazy well. But what would you expect, in a country where babies can salsa before they can crawl? Apparently, these Colombian clowns like to congregate at Andres Carne de Res, or at least, they are paid to perform there as part of the nightclub's theme - multi-floored, it's a journey from Heaven to Hell, as you descend down the four floors in this circus-like establishment.

Andres has a fun theme, though it comes off as a bit cheesy at times with the clowns, puppets, and strolling minstrels making their rounds. It's all a bit bizarre but entertaining, with the clowns trying especially hard to get your attention. Most of the girls at our table aren't big fans of clowns, and did their best to ignore them as they tried to get our attention, but then one plopped himself down at our table and started to yell "Look at me!!! I am here!!! Why are you ignoring me???" I started laughing, but the girls didn't find it so funny ...

It's definitely an interesting and fun experience at Andres - pricey by Colombian standards and depending on what you order, pricey even by Canadian standards, they can get away with it because they still manage to pack the place. It's got a nice buzz, even early in the evening as people are sitting down to dinner and by midnight, it becomes absolutely full of dancing Colombians.

As we left, some locals asked the girls if they enjoyed themselves and were almost insulted when the answer was yes, it was pretty good. "What do you mean? It was amazing!!!" None of us would go that far, but it definitely was a fun and memorable night - creepy Colombian clowns included!

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Photos

Why Are You Ignoring ME????? ...
... if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

Poor Sabrina ...
... she couldn't escape the creepy Colombian clown, despite her "Get me the hell out of here!!!" look.

Retribution ...
... having had enough of being creeped on by clowns, it was my turn to creep on them, fondling this poor clown.

Toronja and Chicha de Patilla ...
... lunch at Masa, an upscale lunch spot in the Zona G. The juice on the left is a a mix of toronja and orange - we were excited to try what we thought was something new, but it turned out that toronja is just pomelo! Having no idea what Chicha de Patilla, we thought it might be something more exotic than the watermelon juice with watermelon chunks that it turned out to be - it still tasted great, and there was some other flavour in there that we couldn't place.

Tartine Vegetariano ...
... not really a tart, but an open-faced sandwich featuring roasted vegetables and hummus, served atop a slice of bread. Not bad, but not as great, as the crowds at Masa suggested the food would be.

Turkey Sandwich ...
... with bacon, avocado, and romanesco sauce, served on multi-grain bread with nuts and grapes. The bread was interesting, but a tad sweet. The highlight was the super-crispy bacon.

Intricate ...
... incredible level of detail at the Museum of Gold.

Cafe de la Estacion ...
... cool little cafe located inside of a converted old train car. The food wasn't the best - the almojabanas were terrible, dry and dense. The torta ponque wasn't bad, but a bit different than we expected. Ok cappuccino, and the canelazo was pretty good - a hot drink made of aguardiente, sugar, cinnamon sticks, and fruit juice.

Annoying Menu at Andres Carne de Res ...
... comic book style, it was huge, and took forever to go through all the options.

Lulazo ...
... Vodka, lime juice, lemon, lulo, and syrup. All for the bargain price of $20 CAD!

Beef Ribs ...
... tough and dry, not the best - not sure why restaurants feel the need to serve meat on a sizzling plater, as all it does is overcook the meat. But the accompanying cup of sauce was excellent.

Massive Rib Steak ...
... too bad it was 30% fat! Same problem with the sizzling platter though it actually helped in this case, as the steak was way overcooked, though nicely seasoned. The highlight was - yet again - the mashed potatoes, neatly served in a tomato and roasted. The garlic butter was also terrific.