Cali& Pasto

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Look! Gringo
Being Blond and white in Colombia attracts attention, people stop me at the street, start talking to me, giving me drinks and are genuinely nice all the time.
So far I have enjoyed that attention, but now I am in Pasto, where they have a festival in which they spray you with the spray like YOM HA' AZMAHUT in Israel.
A few also throw flour at you from time to time.
Well, this is the place I would have preferred to blend in, however, I am walking with a bunch of friends, everybody is clean, and I looked like a pre-baked birthday cake. Yip Blonds definitely have more fun!

Basic Hebrew
Every body is asking me to teach them words in Hebrew.
I always teach the same 3:
SHALOM
YALLA
SABABA
And why?
Without these three words you cannot come in to Israel.
When you come into customs, you have to tell them SHALOM, otherwise they won't treat you.
Also, they are very slow, so if you dont want to be stuck in the airport you have to speed them up: Yalla.
Once your in, its all SABABA

Cell and sex:
A young Texan boy was walking down Cali streets at night, suddenly a bunch of hookers, from both sexes,
came up to him and started grabbing him, trying to touch him his penis and putting their hands down his pockets.
He did a simple cock block maneuver but his pockets were penetrated, when he left he realised, they took his cell phone.
Of course he is fine, but apparently scared for life,
he will always connect cock grabbing with stealing his cell phone, which bound to bring some phsycological issues in the future.

Colombian teasing:
They say Colombian girls are hot (I wouldn't know though cos I am obviously married....:-)), I am not convinced that they are different then others but from what I have heard from numerous sources, I can say that they are definitely teasers.

A few quotes from fellow friends, who suffered from the Columbian teasers (Some I made up, according to the situation - not everybody is as funny as me):
1. "I came back to the hostel, horny as hell, had sex with myself and went to bed"

2. It was like she was holding the Cookie right above, you want the Cookie? You want it? you cant have it! You want it? you cant have it!"
3. Its like a bull fight, its funny to watch, unless you are the bull.

4. "And again, she invited me to meet her family, I met parents, the grand parents, the sisters the brothers the cousins the uncles. I can build her fucking family tree.¨"

5. What did you do today?
well, I DIDN'T have sex with a Colombian girl

Quotes of the week:
1. Every time you make a toast with water, a girl dies (They say toasting with water bring bad luck, but this is too much)
2. "Note to self, in Ecuador, always wear underpants, and do not wear my pink thongs"
A guy was robbed in Quito, they stole is pants, and he is learning from past mistakes

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Comments

[tami wilderman]

fantastic hummor
i enjoyed reading every word. the writer knows how to express himself and does it with a lot of hummor. keep on writing.