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Published: February 4th 2009
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Dad fighting his white whale
We're gonna need a bigger boat. It became quickly apparent my father hasn’t forgotten his days as a Nixon staffer as he dropped peace signs on about 4500 people while he was here. He reminded me of that old guy in Lawrence who just walks around throwing peace signs at passerbyes, paying it forward. I got to know both him (my father not the Lawrence guy) and my little sister much better. I don’t think I’ve spent that much time with him since I was in 2nd grade. Second grade was pretty awesome, all star wars and art class. I called in sick to work Thursday and went and picked up Dad and Jeni from the airport, took a minivanish thing home. The following day I worked a half day, skipping four hours of teacher training which doesn’t really hurt anyone except my 31 students who’ll now not get the best education they could have. No biggie. We hiked into the ecopark Tayrona, stayed up late on the beach and went to sleep in hammocks about 15 meters from a live band. Following day, spent the day on the beach and hiked out. Sunday we went fishing with an aging gringo named Bill and caught 21 Albacore
tuna, which is almost twice as many as the times I threw up over the side of the boat. Monday they came to school with me. Jeni came to school sporting a “Learning’s for the birds, midgets are for the circus” shirt that didn’t help my kids get on board working harder or do much for the self esteem of young Jesus. Dad was a trooper during the trip, up for whatever and loath to sit in the apartment, even when I was at work. His adventurousness impressed me although it also resulted in him being a legend with street vendors as the gringo who famously paid (the equivalent of) fifty American dollars for a bottle of water. Exhibiting all of your cash and letting them pick the bills they want when you don't know what they are worth maybe isn't the best idea. You know who sets a bad example for kids? Winnie the Pooh’s fat ass, sitting around eating sugar all day with his complaining friend Eeyore. Plus he reinforces the idea that it’s okay to leave the fat Poohs in your life when you get sick of them like Christopher Robin leaves Pooh. It’s crazy to think
Jeni
Catching two fish at the same time, amazing. that Derrick Thomas was 33 when he died. I feel like maybe I’m wasting my life as I have zero professional sacks and no children by various mothers. Why is it that women are such bad judges of their friends’ level of attractiveness. “She’s beautiful.” No she’s not, she looks like a Latina John Elway. It’s like they take personality into account or something. Ridiculous. The rule for comparatives and superlatives is that you add -ER and -EST to one syllable words (ie bigger, biggest)and MORE and MOST to words that have three syllables or more(ie more intelligent, most intelligent). Two syllable words are a crapshoot depending on spelling patterns. This is already pretty freakin’ complicated as you have to go into the spelling patterns of the two syllable words or just memorize which go where. This is why when someone tells me funner and funnest are not words makes me want to karate chop their neck.* The same people who tell you this use it as an adjective in a sentence, “It was a fun party” “it’s fun to upper deck your enemies” proving that they are not anachronisms who futilely claim it can’t be used as an adjective
Me and one of my fish
I caught the least, but was the most graceful. at all. Yet they still don’t want to give it other adjectival properties such as the comparative/superlative.** I tend to just teach common usage anyway, like “I’m fina go to the store.” I kind of feel like grammar rules are just a way for people who went to college to feel superior to people who didn’t. Hopefully reading this made you feel like I went to college, especially if you didn’t. Josh and I have developed a fool-proof system for dealing with random classroom sit ins by the boss. Every student will have at all times in their desks a red envelopes with an amazing lesson plan inside, and the seal is only to be broken should he drop in to observe a class. “Okay students, get out your red envelopes and open them please.” Oh, I’m under prepared because I didn’t have a lesson plan for today, or am I OVER prepared because of my genius red envelope preparation? Adam now has recycle buckets in his classroom to aid in saving the Earth. After the kids go home he empties them into the normal trash. I find I enjoy typing more right after I cut my fingernails. I went
Dad and I in Tayrona
Dad's face reacting to Jeni telling him to suck in his gut is hilarious. I find people tend to look their best after a two hour hike in the jungle. to my first Colombia wedding as Bald Frank married a girl 12 years his junior out of his league. Highlights included the sound guys doing a sound check blaring the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack not 50 meters behind the congregation during the vows, and the odd vow of "And did you Frank come here freely and spontaneously?" Who shows up spontaneously to their own wedding?
Biggest problem in my life right now: The chocolate Jelly Bellys which I hate are EXACTLY the same color as the Dr. Pepper ones which are super fantastically delicious.
Biggest reason to watch TV right now: English language sportscenter.
Biggest beard at school right now: Mine, Grizzly Adams
did have a beard.
Biggest hygienic modification since I moved here: I powder my feet before donning socks, it’s like walking on sunshine.
Biggest reason to download music: Why? - Alopecia or Glasvegas - Glasvegas. Both excellent.
Friend of the Month: Carly/Colin for overcoming their good sense and buying tickets to come to Carnaval. Married couples become one person at the alter, which explains why they have about half as much fun as unmarried people.
All time gringo,
~
T
“I hated high school kids when I was in high school, I hate them still.” ~ Anonymous high school teacher at my school.
"Finally, a president who understands technology. Oh, and human rights. And climate change, foreign policy, and the Constitution." ~ The Onion
“One knew, of course, that it was not the red cape any more than it was the boots, the tights, the trunks, or the trademark “S” that gave Superman the ability to fly. That ability derived from the effects of the rays of our yellow sun on Superman’s alien anatomy, which had evolved under the red sun of Krypton. And yet you had only to tie a towel around your shoulders to feel the strange vibratory pulse of flight stirring in the red sun of your heart.” ~ Michael Chabon, Secret Skin
*spellcheck’s little red lines are underlining funner and funnest right now reminding me how much I hate the man.
**"In the beginning, we had fun, the mass noun, as in "We had a lot of fun," which is grammatically parallel to "We had a lot of fondue." But the noun fun, as nouns will do, also lent itself
Frank's Colombian wedding
I wasn't in the wedding party, I'm not sure why I'm in the photo. to attributive uses, modifying other nouns: "We had a fun evening" is standard English, just like "We had a fondue party."
It's also common, though, to use fun as a predicate: "That was fun." And though fun can be a noun here, it can just as plausibly be read as a predicate adjective - grammatically equivalent to That was amusing (or lovely or fabulous).
Besides, points out Bryan Garner, we need fun to fill a gap in the lexicon. "Unlike other nouns of emotion, fun hasn't had a corresponding adjective to mean 'productive of fun,' " he writes in Garner's Modern American Usage. Funny, the logical candidate, was long ago drafted for other purposes, and can't take this job. So we make a slight adjustment, and presto: Fun is an adjective.
Few language commentators have objected to the evolution of fun. It's normal, after all, for English words to switch parts of speech, though adjectivizing nouns is not so common as verbing them. And then there's funner - which sounded like a joke, at first, but will have to be taken seriously if fun is really an adjective."
http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2008/03/30/a_fun_whodunit/
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Jeni
non-member comment
Don't kid yourself, Joel
It was the Cuban tuxedo that got you into the wedding pics. It's power will kick Superman’s cape's ass. That sentence sounds funny, but i'm just going to go with it.