Strugglin

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Each day a struggle. So it is my fourth and final week here in Brazil and I just wanted to make a short and not completely thorough entry. I dont really know how many people are actually reading this anyway! So um, yes, saturday I had my wallet stolen. It sucked. I was going to go to an island that day and obviously taht was thwarted and then i was so depressed about it sunday that i stayed in bed all day and watched movies (i still got a tan though ha!) No huge worries about the whole thing, my passport wasnt in there so basically everything can be replaced.

Its been a real struggle out here learning portuguese and not really having many people to speak english to. I also have trouble talking to people generally so i am having trouble practicing my portuguese outside of the classroom. the people whose house i am staying at dont speak much english and so i spend alot of time sort of not talking to them. i couldp robably write a whole blog on that house alone. i am defintely not in kansas anymore.

this week is going to be really difficult without the cash flow that i have had the previous 3 weeks. aside from the fact before i got my wallet stolen i wanted to leave here and go back to rio, now I REALLY want to go back to rio. the only thing left that i want to do here is see a show at the theatre. in my portugeuese classes i am basically dying, floundering, wishing i wasnt there but not really sure where else i want to be, and also knowing i am sort of takking the scenery here for gratned considering that this time next week i will be in london freezing my nips off! no more pictures of sandy beaches and beautiful scenery!

in any case, yeah, i am having a hard time this week. feeling slightly homesick for the company of my professors and graduate student friends. having some serious stomach issues today, i call the problem bubbleguts. even though i hve actually managed to maintain quite a well rounded diet here ifnot for the lack of vegetables served with the average meal here. I dont know, when i told my teacher i was going back to rio this week she basically said that if i did i would be running away, and i didnt feel like at all thats what it was. my point of view on the matter was that i was listening to my mind and body when it was telling me that i was done with a place. basically the only reason i ended up staying was because she wanted to me to pay for the homestay and the classes even if i left. ha! what a joke. but after wednesday it is going to be rather arduous to stay here.

My homestay. Its a weird place. on the 9th floor of a building, it has 1 and half (maybe) bathrooms, with a kitchen the size of a bathroom with no sense of orginization i have figured out yet, the microwave doesnt work and i cant figure out hwo to turn the oven on. great. um my room is pretty decent considering the computer is in my room and i have essentially comandeered it for my own personal usage. theres another bedroom and a half a bedroom it looks like and then a sort of hallyway laundry room that is particular to brazil wherein there is a washer but no dryer since you have the insanely hot sun to do that for you. also the living room is decent but there is no patio (which means no place to hang ur hammock, the sadness is overwhelming) worst part. no air conditinoing, its tyically 85 degrees in my room around the time for me to go to sleep. blah.

i have two other girls imtaking classes with, one is a british girl who looks probably just like you imagine her. and the other girl is scottish and very nice. mosquito bites, sand everywhere, EVERYWHERe, after going to the beach, flies, sweat constantly, shopping everywhere thats way to expensive even for brazil, men that look at you as if you had no eyes and couldnt look back at them while they look you over to their satisfaction, and what else, cleaner streets than tijuana. and the best customer service on the beach of just about anywhere.

im okay. im making it. all of my problems i had at home are basically intensified here and magnified to the mililonth degree. i dont know if im making what people call progress, but uh im surviving. im not ready to come home but i am rady to make a move. looking at a 8 hour layover in new york this time next week. wack. oh well. i need more books. and more money, and more fancy brazilian tank tops. well ill add some pictures to this tonite so you can see what ive been seeing, otherwise i hope all is well with all.

Chao.

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