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Published: December 1st 2006
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You think South America, you think Brazil, you think Amazon- you think J.Lo. Which automatically transcribes into “Anaconda - worst movie ever- but man those snakes were big hey”..
Well apparently, the Amazon- being the worlds largest river, and dumps more water into the ocean in 24 hours than the Thames does in a year- is all over the north of South America. I know AWESOME!!
So we decided to do a Jungle Pampas, which is an area of the amazon. A 3 day tour which includes crazy antics such as boat rides, croc hunting, snake handling and swimming with pink dolphins- I KNOW AWESOME!! Who knew they came in more than one color...!!
Anyway, being wayyyy more precautious this time around with our guide selection after Frankie, we booked our tour company cautiously and set off on the worlds smallest plane to an even smaller jungle town called Rurrenbaque which is at the beginning of the amazon basin.
The flight was a nightmare for some, others just passed out from a heavy night before.
I was just excited to be on such a tiny plane... Feeling like a celebrities just my thing!!
Rurrenbaque was adorable and it
Rain Shower
Big up the amazon seemed as though every person in the town had a place outside, in the sun, and a motorbike to ride up and down the tiny cobbled streets.
We found a nice hotel, although without fan that jungle heat got us good!!
Our tour group was composed of us, and Ryan, as well as a christian couple who have been volunteering for a year in Peru, and the coolest Dutch couple who were 45, without house and children, not married and spent their lives sailing around the world- Kors and Petra, I love you!
We took the 3 hour jeep ride to the start of the river- originally a selling point to me- not so much anymore after being completely covered in dust, and bounced around worse than a sack of potatoes.
The nightmare continued when we stopped off for lunch and were fed soup with maggots, rice with worms, vegetables with fly’s, and meat with mozzies- I kid you not, this was my absolute worst nightmare. Needless to say we paid top dollar for the lone pack of Oreos sitting on the kitchen ledge and hightailed it out of there.
Being on the amazon was surreal, and yet another
Not so Fun
The procedure of swamp walking and welly emptying experience that I never thought I would have, and one that I felt so lucky to be enjoying- seriously WHO goes to the amazon??!!
No no, WHO goes to the amazon when they have a severe allergy to bees, wasps, and ants- not only that but when there is a bee plague on? Just me, only me!! I was antihistamined up mother fear not, and thank god....
The hell began not long after getting over the excitement of being in the jungle; it was probably bite number 301 that really started to bother me. I´m through and through Australian, and I thought my tolerance of mozzie bites was fairly high for an average girl, but this? This was out of control. They didn’t leave you alone for more than a tenth of a second, and by the end of the day I was literally, head to toe swollen, itchy, blotchy, and crying my eyes out. It helped that whenever I bared my ass to my group they’d all gasp and exclaim really loudly that I was by far bitten the worst.
There have only been those two occasions on this trip when I’ve cried and thought, “geez I
Amazonian Sunrise
The Sunrise from the boat genuinely don’t want to be here right now”- and the Amazon was definitely one of them. Apart from that, I can take most urine smells, hassling streets salesmen, bugs in food, sexing noises in the bed next to you, and toilet seats you just don’t sit on- but mozzie attacks and ruins in the rain are where I call it quits.
The rest of the trip was a grin and bear it affair, all filled with the most amazing birds- toucans, cormorants and ibises, lots and lots of real life, wild crocodiles- I refrained from hand feeding one, but it was amazing to see it so close and so wild. And swimming with the pink dolphins, which ok, I pictured like Monkey Mia, where u actually SWIM with them and you fly through the water after being propelled off their nose... but in the Amazon you kind of paddle along side them and listen for their ´phhhhwwws´. That honestly made my whole trip, and even if the water was black and the smell of the water was repulsive (not to mention the piranha fear), it was so soulful to be so close to wild nature- the nature that
Can u say.... not happy!
This literally sums up the entire day.. i think was after the swamp walking and before the rain storm.. yeap I’ve only ever known of through the discovery channel.
We spent day two wading through chest high black swamp (extra mozzie-y) looking for anacondas- bearable as I had visions of finding a J.Lo style man eater and perching it up on my shoulders- imagine the photo!! While half way through our “wander on your own quietly, if you find one, yell out”, solo adventure, I heard the yell.
The gods blessed me with an unexplainable energy, knowing my love for snakes no doubt, and carried me to where the crowd stood. It was here that I hated the jungle more than any other moment, there stood the Israelis with what looked like your average carpet snake, reaching no more than half a meter. Wait till u see my photo..
P.O
When the lightening started a second later, “Rambo-“ we demanded “take us home”.
We had a real Amazon storm where all the mozzies scampered away to shelter, and we freely showered in the rain- which was amazing.. o.k so another highlight!!
I´ve been to the Amazon, it was stunning, however I’ll never go again without a full body mozzie net- OR, why doesn’t someone invent a repellant that WORKS?? Prior to this, I’m sure Abs, T and I will have eliminated all mosquitos from the earth’s surface.
That night, we ironically, went to the Mosquito Bar in Rurrenbaque which was home to the most amazing guitar playing Argentinian, big up Tears in Heaven and Crash. When we’d spent all our money on extending his stage time, I took over the DJ booth and tried my hands and spinning the decks- fun, and shock horror- I was better than I am at playing drums!!
The next day it was out of the jungle, back to La. Paz and a Burger King feast- life is great.
xxoo
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