Restless

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I laid down over an hour ago but here I am at 11.30 clothed, sitting by the window listening to what the pink sky of Buenos Aires has to offer.

I dont know why Im not tired. Perhaps it is because of my new habit - cafe chico (a shot of espresso with a heap full of sugar) Or maybe because I have been staying up until 2am almost every night since I arrived.) I think its probably both of these things and of course I said goodbye to my mama tonight. The plane left at 11 and now the clock reads 23.52 hours. I am waiting for her to call and say they didnt get on the flight. All day I have been waiting for her to leave because I am so anxious to start the new life I have so loosely planned out. Yet here I am knowing that she is gone but still waiting for the call saying that I will be seeing her in the morning.

If she were here to not have gotten on the plane she would have helped me carry my bags upstairs to my apartment. We would have gone to the antique fair around Plaza Dorrango and then to purchase my ticket to Uruguay. None of this will happen. Or at least the way I have planned it out. I will do these things tomorrow by myself.

Saying goodbye to my mama tonight was not how it would have turned out if I had planed it out. Our goodbye was brief. She hopped in the taxi before I could give her a hug. Instead I leaned into the car and gave her a kiss. She made me promise to write a lot and to be true to myself. I rolled my eyes. I feel I have almost always been true to myself. Finally she told me that she was proud of me. I realized then that my mother understands me more then I ever knew.

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Comments

[mama]

: )
You are so precious, darling daughter. How is it possible for amy mother to be so blessed?

[LEW]

whew!
Image strikes a deep emotion you make me CRY; I love you both. Lew