Sugar Toes

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I am not a tidy baker. And it seems that whenever I bake more of the ingredients get dumped onto my clothes then into the bowl. Today in my haste I spilled a 1/2 cup of sugar onto the floor and all over my feet. Of course I swept up my mess but I still havent had time to clean out my toes. Due to the sweat and humidity my feet are gritty and sticky. The crevices between my toes are black from dust and sweetness. I like it.

This week has been a delicate balance of unrelentless stress and still moments. I had a horrific dream the other afternoon. My mom was hospitalized for unexplainable reasons and in my desperate search for answers and her release I was also hospitalized....in the dream I had a nervous breakdown. My mother would not be released until my head was healed. In the end there was a test. I had to drive a hurst at full speed down the curvey spine of the Blue Ridge Parkway. I missed and the hurst soared over the cliff. Game over. Reset. Try again. This time I was given a LaSaber. Again...the same outcome. Again, try again. Finally I was given a Volvo sedan. The scenery changed. I had to manouver down a slippery wooden staircase in the woods...staircases like those found in the moist underbelly of city and state parks in Washington State. This time I passed. I was healed and my Mom was released.

When I woke up I was calm. The air seemed fresher. I made a cup of tea and felt relaxed. For the rest of the day I was able to stay calm and enjoy the day. Whenever I felt my blood pressure rise I would think back and remember how calm I was after that dream. I decided I need more nervouse breakdown dreams.

I am stressed again. My life is disorganized. My home over flowing with sleeping bodies and shoes. I am trying to make a cake, teach a class, organize a dinner, and not bite off my friend Jeramy´s head every 5 minutes.

For the moment we are listening to beautiful music that accompanies the rain perfectly and smelling the carrot cake in the oven. And to stay in this world and not fly off the handle I am remembering the feeling of calmness after my nervouse breakdown dream....and enjoying sugar between my toes.

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[Melinda111]

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