Leaving, on a Jet Plane..

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We arrived at Auckland Airport a full 3 hours before the flight in order to give ourselves the best opportunity to get our ‘standby’ upgrade to ‘Premium’ economy.

It’s important to shuffle up to the check-in desk with a swagger that suggests that upgrading me is not only a good idea, but the first step in a long line of excellent decisions.

Body language is key here, so I employed the ‘Don’t look at the check-in woman in the eyes but stare at your feet instead’ technique whilst mumbling ‘ Um, did we get our upgrade?’ and laughing nervously and trying to look un-terrorist like.

Unfortunately my efforts were wasted and we were told that we’d have to check at the gate, so I initiated the ‘Of course we check in at the gate’ nod and grimace technique to show that I’ve done this all before, and that checking in at the gate is sooooo last week and 'didn’t you get the memo??'

The next important thing to do is sit down in front of the only departure notification screen in the airport which is broken to ensure that whilst the screen reports ‘please wait’, all the ‘other’ screens in the airport report ‘final-call’. I had wondered why the time on the screen was stuck at two minutes past 5 but dismissed it as something to do with daylight savings.

The wait did however allow us to celebrity spot Winston Reid and Shane Smeltz from the All Whites. All of Winston’s luggage is Louis Vuitton by the way so he must be doing ok.
The other bit of celebrity spotting was Craig Parker who was in business class just a few rows in front of us. He played Guy Warner on Shortland Street, Haldir of Lórien in Lord of the Rings, Sabas on Underworld Rise of the Lycans and he needed to go wee-wees 6 times on the flight to San Francisco.

We did eventually actually get our upgrade even though we arrived at the gate late so we boarded the plane and sat down in our plush extra-legroom seats and opened our goodie-bags.
In ‘Premium Economy’, you get socks, fancy lip balm, toothbrush & paste, eye-mask and ear plugs. You also get orange juice or wine at your seat as you arrive, newspaper to read, a multi-course meal and your drink actually comes in a real glass, not a plastic cup!!

I switched into this Beverly hills lifestyle pretty quickly for someone of humble origins and was quite pleased when the cabin crew closed the curtain between us and the ‘huddled masses and wretched refuse’ that makes up cabin class.
Speaking of cabin crew, premium Economy had 36 seats, of which only about 24 were in use, and we had about 4 crew waiting on us hand and foot so a pretty good ratio of 6 to 1.

Regardless of the fancy seats, and fancy service, 12 hour flights through the night are still a drag. I was thinking that there is quite a lot of similarity between a big night out on the town. In both cases: It seemed like a good idea at the time, it cost you a lot of money, and in the morning you wake up with an enormous headache, feeling seedy, and realise you don’t even know the name of the person you slept with last night.
So we are here in San Francisco now, 31 degrees and very bright. Next stop Villa Montes hotel.

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Photos

Filling in Departure Documentation
Complete with Alfred E Neuman 'What Me Worry' Grin

Comments

[Chris]

flight
Hi Richie and Paula, I sent you a message yesterday but I think some other blogger might be getting the benefit as it didn't arrive in your box. So excellent that you got the upgrade!!! I hope your hotel was OK - I think you must be on your way to Cleveland now? I'm in Wellington and left the itinerary behind. Watching all the stuff on the Chilean miners, such a good story. Looking forward to your next blog. Love Mama

[Eddie]

You are funny Bobe. I gave you an LOL.

[Onion]

good work
Hi guys, sounds like fun at the airport. Have you considered a career in comedy? I guess the big bucks are in IT, I mean, it's so much more emotionally rewarding. I hope the hotel compares OK with the argonaut, although it's a tough ask. See you soon. Jed says "meow" and Blob says "what?"