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Published: February 18th 2007
New Zealand is a brilliant place. Just like Australia 25 years ago. The kind of place where the trampolines don’t have fences around them, the playgrounds don’t have woodchips at the bottom of slides - basically they haven’t discovered lawsuits yet. Perhaps this is why they get away with the crazy stunts (think AJ Hackett) that make NZ the adventure capital of the world?! The place is green and lush -enough to bring tears to the eyes of us Aussies on stringent water restrictions. But the best thing about New Zealand has got to be the people - some of the friendliest, happy-go-lucky, outdoorsy types you’ll ever come across. Everything’s ‘Sweet as bro’. The plan was to fly into Wellington and out of Auckland - with ten days including my cousin Steve’s wedding in Marton in between - a kind of road trip around the North Island.
I arrived at my hostel in Wellington really late. Late enough for the dorm room to reek of cask wine, dirty shoes and a big night. The guy in the bunk above made his early morning return known with a snore to rival the throb of an outboard motor. From here roommates took
turns getting up to shake "Franco" - the snoring Italian from Parma. The night's antics culminated in a tipsy Scottish giggler bringing an American guy into the room - 'you can sleep in our spare bed', she offered. You guessed it - he tried to get into bed with me ... I was suitably furious - back on the backpacker circuit!
Wellington was pretty - if you like harbours and mountains. Joggers and fit looking kiwis stretched their legs by the waterfront promenade. The incredibly quick traffic lights allowed only sufficient time for the fit looking Kiwi specimens to cross safely - but seemed particularly hazardous for the sick and elderly. In fact, now that I think about it, there didn't seem to be any sick or elderly people? There also seemed to be an inordinate amount of book shops in Wellington - as well as beautiful timber houses with massive windows. I’d been told to try some of the local cuisine here. The meat pies contained REAL STEAK - delicious and terrible for you- basically I loved them! Along with meat pies - I tried the 'fush n chups', though the Asian owned ‘chuppery’ left me speechless with
their complete absence of dim sims - the overall experience turned out to be a bit of a disappointment after that. I also heard that NZ's burger rings (a kind of potato chip) were better than the Aussie version - but this also proved a cruel fallacy (Jo & Di - you’re never going to convince me otherwise!).
The two things people rave about most in Welly are the ‘Lord of the Rings’ movies and their museum Te Papa. The museum led me to the discovery of the origins of jandals - those things everyone else calls flip flops or thongs. It turns out Jandals - or Japanese sandals were invented after an entrepreneurial kiwi spotted the Japanese Olympic team wearing them at the 1956 Olympics in Melbourne. Marketed as Japanese sandals and quickly shortened to jandals, these days blue is the most commonly sold colour. Other fascinating things to see at Te Papa included an earthquake display and the ejaculation helmet ...?!! Yep - a helmet designed to collect the sperm of the endangered kapuka parrot which tends to ejaculate on human heads. Despite numerous trials - the helmet was not successful.
After a couple of days,
The view @ the wedding
"Orlando Country", MartonI met up with Mum, Dad and my little sis Sarah to collect a rental car and drive up to the wedding in Marton - a few hours north of Welly. By this point Sarah (pronounced Seera) and I were pretty convinced we'd adopted impressive Kiwi accents and the right phrases to match. We found hours of entertainment in 'taking the puss" (piss) out of our friendly Kiwi counterparts. It seemed easy - just greet people with ‘kia ora’, order a ‘trum’ (trim) latte from the dairy (corner store) then talk lots about 'stocking up your chully bin' (cooler). All greetings should contain one of either 'sweet as', 'choice', 'bro' or 'cuz'. Then you just throw an 'ay' on the end. As I said - hours of fun …!
The wedding was more than just a one day event. It’s fair to say it was a three day extravaganza. Anyone who knows Steve understands that not only does he know how to throw a great party; he also has great taste when it comes to food and its accompanying beverages. He has equally great taste, it seems, when it came to choosing a bride - everyone agrees that Sarah
is gorgeous, outgoing, intelligent - basically awesome.
We kicked off the celebrations the night before the wedding - a group of us enjoying a few quiet drinks and dinner with the groom. There's something particularly special about a wedding people have to travel to. The guests aren’t distracted by the daily routine and stresses of home - in fact the enthusiasm and excitement is multiplied - everyone is intent on having a good time. Most of Steve's friends from Oz had also chosen to see some of NZ whilst there for the wedding - so the mood was relaxed and everyone was in holiday mode as we swapped stories about our adventures thus far.
The following day, a bus collected us to take us to the wedding at "Orlando Country" in Marton. The setting was postcard perfect and the ceremony was held in a colourful garden wedding atop a cliff top with green rolling hills all around. A Maori maestro played background music as Sarah and Steve tied the knot. Their happiness was nothing short of contagious and the festivities began straight away - waiters delivering champagne as we stood enjoying the sunshine in the garden. Guests were
given a couple of golf balls to try their luck at the hole placed in the middle of a dam at the bottom of the cliff and mum showed remarkable golfing talent, whilst looking the part in her wedding outfit. The night was brilliant - great food, wine, company and dancing. A fabulously relaxing wedding.
Comet McNaught even made a late appearance at the wedding. Comet McNaught (aka 'the great comet of 2007') was discovered by a bloke called Robert McNaught - a Scotsman from Coonabarabran in Oz back in August last year. This was his 31st discovery. All the other comets are also called McNaught ...! Apparently it's the brightest comet in 40 years and it was a perfect clear night for watching it shoot across the NZ sky.
The day after the wedding the guests treated hangovers with some of the flavoursome boutique offerings from
Macs Brewery and a much needed BBQ lunch at Sarah's parents. A fitting way to close out the wedding celebrations - all the guests had spent so much time together, we all felt like old friends. Mum was busy swapping email addresses and liberally handing out invites for people to join her
The obligatory cheesy family shot
Chris, Tracey, Uncle Paul, Aunty Jen, Sarah, Steve, me, Mum, Dad & Sarah and dad at their accommodation in Rotorua (I was becoming concerned there wouldn't be a bed left for me)! It was also time to say goodbye to Steve and Sarah who plan to travel Europe indefinitely.
From Marton we drove to Napier - a coastal town in the famous Hawkes Bay winery region. The Kiwi drivers were fast and decidedly reckless. They adhered to a crazy road rule we nicknamed the ‘slowbo’. Basically if the car in front is going too slow, tailgate them (swerving is encouraged) until they are forced to pull over to the side of the road and let everyone pass. I suspect the local panel shops do a roaring trade!
As we drove along the Manawatu Gorge on our way to Napier we stumbled across some bizarre graffiti. All the way along the gorge was graffiti referring to a certain ‘Lee Harris’. ‘Lee the flea’, ‘Lee Harris nark’, ‘Constable Lee Harris’ … evidently not the most popular bloke in town. Another blogger -
'The Russ Relocated' has tried to shed light on this mystery, but to no avail ...
Napier is famed for its wineries, its art deco and is also the home of Mel
and Greig - Kiwi friends who used to be my neighbours in Albert Park. I was treated to some fantastic Kiwi hospitality, staying with Mel and Greig for a few days as Mum, Dad and Sarah continued onto Rotorua. The weather was hot and Greig, off work due to an ankle injury, was a sensational tour guide. We even took their part greyhound Jasmine for a walk/run - she ran alongside the car as we cruised around town in comfort! Whilst there I checked out some of the famous local Wineries - including Church Rd, Mission Estate and Brookfields, and made a few purchases. One afternoon I went to the sea baths and met Mel for a swim after work. We ate and drank well too. One night we had a massive serving of delicious green lipped mussels - a local specialty.
Napier itself was completely rebuilt in the 1930's after it was levelled by a massive earthquake. The earthquake changed the coastal landscape quite dramatically and apparently the town gets some of the most consistently warm and sunny weather in NZ. One of its biggest attractions - other than the art deco architecture and wineries - is the
Pania Statue, Napier
The litte statue that caused a massive commotion! famous statue of Pania. The statue, which commemorates a Maori sea legend, was stolen back in October 2005. According to Greig - the Napier townspeople were outraged and news reports tell of locals leaving flowers, notes and cards at the statue base. Eventually, Pania was recovered by police a month later from a local garden shed. The accused are quoted as saying they have no idea how it got there - but accepted charges for the possession and use of cannabis!!
Rotorua greeting me like a slap in the face with its foul smelling mud. Once I'd discovered the parents were stayed at a RESORT and had spare beds - I was there with bells on! So were Steve's friends - Mark, Chris, Jen and Paul - people that mum had invited from the wedding. Soon we had a full house and the festivities continued. We liberally sampled the fine NZ wine, made use of the pool and spa and did some sightseeing.
Skydiving was a rush like no other ... The anticipation was part of the fun ... you couldn't wipe the smile off my face as I kitted up ready for the big jump. I was
so confident that I happily demolished a massive chunk of sponge cake and a coffee at 'dropzone ... the ultimate jump" as I waited in drop HQ for my turn to fall 12,000 metres down to earth ... Before I'd even done the jump, I found myself signing up for a white water rafting adventure on class 5 rapids ... the adrenaline rush addictive ...
Myself and Chris (who I'd talked into joining me) got suited up and I strolled confidently out of the hangar to the tiny little plane (no safety briefing, just some quick instructions on what to do with legs and arms when jumping). It was just like
'Top Gun' but I wanted to be 'Maverick' ... not poor 'Goose'! My tandem-master's English was questionable, as was his personality. I'm guessing he was German. I assure myself that 'cool as a cucumber'; calm and efficient is probably more important than a personality when skydiving. I call him 'Iceman'! To be a tandem master you have to have done over 1000 dives. So I don't think 'Iceman' was that impressed when I asked 'so have you done this before?!'.
When it was time to jump, seven of
Top Gun
The little sky-diving plane us (plus the pilot) squeezed into the tiny plane ... stacked on top of one another. I was positioned between my co-drivers legs facing Chris. Her face had a tinge of green about it - which is completely understandable; given it was only her second time in a plane! Despite thinking I'd be terrified by this point, I was struck by the breathtaking scenery and kept waiting for the fear to kick in. Nothing separated us and the air outside but a plastic sliding door. At 9000 feet my co-pilot got me to move onto his lap to strap us together. Fiddling around, he shouted 'fuck' in frustration ... he can't find the strap to connect me to him ... 'Iceman' no longer. Thankfully we located the strap and were securely connected just seconds before leaving the plane.
The actual jump was incredible. I'd figured the scariest bit would be looking down just prior to jumping. In reality it all happened so quickly, I didn't have time to comprehend or be frightened. The first 10 seconds of the 45 second freefall were crazy. Dropping at 200kms per hour, my stomach dropped like I was riding a wild rollercoaster -
Getting ready to jump
Chris & I all kitted up ready for our tandem jump my brain couldn't comprehend and keep up with what was happening. After that, I finally focused on the scenery around me and arms out, revelled in the thrill of the freefall. Once the parachute engaged, the fall slowed and Iceman pointed out some of the local landmarks and scenery. He also gave instructions on what to do for the landing. Basically 'put your legs out and when I say run, run!'. The landing went without a hitch and I felt like I was walking on air for the next 24 hours. My 2007 New Years Resolution - tick!
The following day, I was picked up for white water rafting by an impressively dreadlocked dude called Nigel who called me 'babe'. The 2km expedition was led by a gang of tanned, buff Kiwi blokes down the Kaituna River. We met at their headquarters which was basically a shed, with a few scattered bean bags and a guy playing a guitar. Bizarrely no one asked if you could swim before handing out PFDs (you can't call them life jackets, because they might not save your life!) and we caught a bus to the river. There are 14 drops - the most
hair raising being Tutea Falls - a 7 metre waterfall and the scenery was all steep cliffs, ferns and greenery. Most of the other tourists were Germans or Americans and the guides quickly worked out I was one of the few who knew what I was doing and took to calling me 'the Aussie'. I was in a raft with 2 guides and a pack of losers who couldn't follow instructions. Going over Tutea Falls - we managed to stay upright - despite the incompetence of the losers in my boat and the raft going 'submarine' and completely submerging. For the rest of the journey - the guides let me do some crazy things like sit on the front of the raft as we went over the rapids and even swim down some of the rapids. Brilliant!
You can't go to tourist haven Rotorua or 'Roto-vegas' as the locals call it - without seeing an erupting geyser or boiling mud pools. Whilst geological fascinating - I found these all really quite boring after the thrills of sky diving and white water rafting. Especially the Lady Knox Geyser which was effectively 'turned on' at 10.15am by a park ranger pouring
soap suds into its conical opening. The Polynesian Spa managed to deliver though - with an afternoon of relaxation in thermal mineral pools. Sister Sarah - not one for adventure sports - managed to get her thrills from the mixed lolly offerings at the Ikea of grocery stores 'Pack and Save' - each to their own!
My NZ journey ended in Auckland. The return to hostel accommodation brought with it a particularly awful shock. A young guy at my hostel died in his hostel room and was wheeled out on a gurney. The hostel grapevine spreads rumours relating to drugs and alcohol - not surprising really - but still a sobering experience. Auckland itself was probably the low-light of my journey. A big, grey city - NZ's largest -which offered the usual array of city-type site-seeing like museums, galleries and boat trips. The Harbour area was quite funky - with lots of cafe and bars. With limited time to really see much - I caught the ferry across to the picturesque Devonport - a touristy suburb crammed with antique shops and bookshops.
I returned home on a complete high - still with much of NZ to see -
First Champers 4.05pm
Steve promised us we'd have a champers in our hands by 4pm ...! including the Bay of Islands and the Marlborough Region. Time to plan my next trip!!
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Belinda Butcher
non-member comment
hi
Hey Ellen its Belinda from Adelaide who you met in LA! Looks like youre still travelling around! thats great! I extended my stay in America. I went home for xmas and then came back to Purdue university. I feel sick when I think about having to go home for good. :( glad your still living it up!!