Vippassna Meditation

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Vipassna

The journey within, to experience with equilibrium, the passing away of layers and layers of countless experiences of negativity, and watching with delight but not becoming attached to the sensations that feel light and tingly watching them arise in your minds eye, and watching them dissapear into the past, only becoming aware of the sensations they bring. The first couple of days were hellfire, and it didnt get any easier to some degree, although the benefits I ve gained from this experience are pricelesss.

In the beginning I was in agony, a pain I have had in my back for many years was craving and craving all my attention, Vipassna has taught me the sensitivity to be aware of every single part of the body, going through each part, part by part and being aware of the sensation whatever it may be. This is very hard and I certainly havn't found every part, yet. Some areas are completly numb, and it can be frustrating not to be able to contact them, but you only devote a certain amount of time and then move on with a sweeping motion from head to toe of the body, like their is a beam of light passing through you from the top of your head through the spine to the base. From tingling to burning, lightness to heavyness you are simply developing the mastery of the mind and purifying your thoughts, speech and actions, realising the Dhamma of what these motivations are and realising the self-centred egocentric parts, and the ones and the thoughts that are benefical to all human kind.

After a few days of excrutiating pain, the thoughts and feelings that arose with it were inexplicitly linked to memories of the past, although the concentration is on the breathing technique, you cannot help what thoughts that arise within the mind, and this feels like part of the process, to learn how much we are spellbound by our own minds with its attachment to craving and aversion. Being aware of the things we really want, and the practicality of what we actually need. The three roots of all mental defilements being, craving, aversion and ignorance!

I think most of us recognise Karma in our lifes, how one action will influence another, but all actions are within the past. We only have the present to act within and we can start right now. That is the beauty of it! The noble Eightfold path...

samma-vaca - right speech
samma-kammanta - right actions
samma-aijiva - right livlihood
samma-vayama - right effort
samma-sati - right awareness
samma-samadhi - right concentration
samma-sankappa - right thought
samma-ditthi - right understanding

On the second day I was sitting in the meditation hall along with aproximatly 40 other students some for the first time, some have been many times, and the pain was increasing and agitating , and tears were streaming from my eyes, with hatred and anger following the uncomfortableness, at times it was unbearable. I had no control over it, and was thinking, noone else is crying, what the hell is going on, am I doing it right, should this be happening? The key again is just to let it fade, dont become attached to this emotion, this dispare that we feel, helplessness is only feeding and setting ourselves up for more of the same experience. There is no blame towards others for making ourselves misreable, we do it to ourselves, and faces that arose from my past, angry faces, that once had effected me were now just realisations of their own misery. And the times that arose where I had been abusive towards others were realisations of my own unhappiness at the time.

Having cleared away some of the debry from inside, I was able to concentrate on the nicer feelings and although the angry ones would still try to interfere they were gradually infaltrated and begin to be dispelled by the nicer ones. And the combination of the two became quite a satisfying pain rather than a burning one. A bit like you would run a bath, too hot or too cold is unbearable but just right and it is bliss. However it is not somewhere we can be forever, and when I had gone to see the assistant teacher the first time, she said it was marvelous to have experinced this, and these were the tools that I was using for this time. People can be so drawn towards the light, and this is very dangerous, as we do not learn the lessons of impermanence, and we begin to get attached to the positive light energy. When everything is wonderfull all of the time, we become unrealistic. Its almost a maddness, without any practicality. So as much as it is important to be positive about life it can also be unhelpful if we think we can achieve our goals instantly or overnight.

So as the mid part of the week gave light relief, seeds began planting themself within me of how the future would now be in my minds eye, it was filled with so much love and joy, of caring and sharing with the world around. All I could think about was wanting to be a mother and having a family, and natural instincts began to unfold. This eutopia began to develop of how great it all could be. But before drifting of into a world reggae, as songs began to pass through reverbarating and reitterating this dreamlike state, the energy began to penetrate towards the bottom area of my back and a reality check, a strong pulling sensation, a heavyness occured and began to slow it all down and again it faded away, with only the watching of a film, as opposed to acting the part.

The Art of Living is a Science, however, and we are but molecules and atoms of particals living within space and time with the rest of the atmosphere, we act and react with the laws of nature, and this definition also rings true with the ideas of permiculture. This in depth surgury of the mind is a fine tuning of our awareness to our enviroment and how we are a part of it. Where as permiculture is an awareness of how the laws of nature work within our land, Vipassna is an awareness of the laws of nature and how they are associated with our actions, and how they multiply again and agian with the right or wrong actions. Also as molecules and cells, we hold memories in these cells, and as this healing light disperses these molecules gradually the flashback of very real stored memories are witnessed within, sometimes we didnt even know they were there, its a powerful, yet liberating experience. Its surreal, I was laughing also as a memory of a funny situation arose I had know idea was there.

After the course came to an end if we so wished we could watch the video of how Vipassna has helped so many people in different prisons in India. One being in Jaipur. It was one of the most moving things I have seen for a while, and brings tears to my eyes whilst writing this. The negativity that once surrounded the prison, from corrupt prison officers, to miserable inmates, hardened prisoners, with countless convictions. Mr. Goenka, who teaches the pracitce of the ancient tradition of Sayagi U Ba Khin, and who is the founder of the course that is Vipassna meditation course, was asked to teach the practice in the prison, some inmates were in shaccles as they had commited many murders and were very 'dangerous', Mr. Goenka refused to teach unless they were released. They could not practice like this, he stated. It caused a bit of an uproar with the guards and heads of the security, and eventually they were released but with guns held at the ready to aim and kill if anything went out of hand! One thousnds prisoners sat in the hall, from many many different religious backgrounds that had always caused friction within the space, leading I presume to some of the negative patterns experienced there. Every prisoner completed the 10 day course, and also the prison guards were threatened with losing their jobs if they didnt attend (although not in the same sitting as the prisoners), and the results were astounding. The beams, and smiles , and lightness filled the prison, and people gave their accounts of what they had learned about themselves within. The morality of life! The guards and the chief stood in line as one by one the prisoners came by and the two hugged each other with such deepness, this was not just an informal handshake, a weak and feeble attempt at some kind of consolidation, this was real, real undrstanding, proper hugs and tears of recognision and compassion! So moving to watch.

I have always been a bit of a skeptic when it comes to any sort of practice, as I always beieved that we all have this power, and I have sometimes been wary of anything that may come across as a blessing but is really a brain washing, but no words can describe the feeling of peace, it has to be felt, there is no intellectual dispute, no condemnation, and no holy image or religion or 'club' to be part of, it simply is what it is, a warm pleasant way to live, in harmony with the world around us, with all intelligent light beings, which is what we are. I believe we used to call such creatures aliens, now theres a thought!

There are many practices of meditation too, Scott, Marcie and Anya practice the techniques given to them by Maharaji, 'knowledge' as it is called can be achieved online, look up Maharaji for more info, and Im sure there are many other techniques that have originated in India. Vipassna tells you this, and it gives you the opportunity to give trial to this technique. I may try another too, but Im already convinced, whichever it is, surely they all lead to enlightenment, and really you only need what is helpful to you.
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Photos

Bhudda
Melboune Graffitti Art

Comments

[Cordelia]

me too!
That was like reading my own blog!! I'm so happy that you did Vipassana, I knew you'd take to it... I cried and was in agony too - and like you thought I was the only one!! I'm hoping to go back and do it again in October... You write beautifully Dee. x

[Ram Tyagi]

I feel it
I jion vippassna and i found that i am feeling so quite and calm. now i can control to angry . i look this in my daily routine and found more of the good result now i complete my work within resonable time. thanks vippassna. Be Happy................

[Sean Mullin]

and me!
I did a Vipassana in spain, I wrote a piece on it and was looking to see if someone had did something similar. Smiled all the way through reading this, especially the bit about the reggae music, I too had an internal ipod pumping out tunage! It was almost deafening except my ears were never used. I never got to the state you describe later in the piece but I do look back on it as a time of progress. Well done on the piece!