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Published: March 3rd 2008
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Welcome to the land of Oz, where you are bound to find things that go out of the bounds of “normal.”
Pondering is done after the fact. My feet have left Australia but my thoughts linger behind. I am in Singapore but I write about Australia and the oddities I discovered there. As well as pondering the mutant mold growing on the upper corner of my hostel room as well. It is lumpy like a mosaic of green cottage cheese splattered against the wall. But I digress...Australia is my actual train of thought and Singapore is for a later date.
Its true Australia speaks English, and for the most part you are never assaulted with the strange smells and sounds like you are when wondering around Little India or China Town here in Singapore. And sure enough they are a younger “new world” country in which there is a ton of space with not enough people to even begin to cover it. However, in real terms Australia is a very old world. People (aborigines) have lived here for thousands and thousands of years. But their time is not indicated by monuments and temples celebrating any given moment like many
Turtle Magic.
Tough love gives you a hard shell! other cultures. They seemed to feel no need to form into the type of culture in which monuments and temples were important. It is curious to note that Australia is defined as a relatively new country when it outranks most other cultures going back 40,000 years or more with the aboriginals and geologically speaking has some of the oldest rock showing at the surface. But perhaps that is the point. Australia is so full of strange and exotic things that one can’t even begin to comprehend them all.
I’d like to start off with the Koala as the oddest niche mammal I’ve ever encountered. Yes, yes, I know. Your thinking we’ve lost it and fell for the cuddly little fellow that sleeps in a tree, the koala. We’ve gone soft and lost our perspective on what odd just really means. But this has nothing to do with its cuddly fuzziness; rather it’s the bizarre adulthood ritual that the mother puts its offspring through.
As we know koalas mostly and I do mean mostly live on gum tree leaves (everyone better know what gum tree is by now cause no way am I gonna type out Eucalyptus every time). As
Grumpy Old Man.
Look what happens when you get to many cuddles. it turns out gum tree leaves are a very low energy food source that is poisonous to most animals. The name Koala is derived from the aboriginal word for “no drink”. The koala will not drink any water if it eats gum leaves due to the fact that it has a special bacteria living in its tummy that manages to break down the gum leaves. This bacteria works on the tannic acids of the gum leaves and in turns breaks the leaves down to provide both energy and water for the koala. Without the bacteria the leaves are to toxic to be consumed.
Here’s the cool part. A mother koala will smack her child down if she catches him sneaking a nibble on the leaves. It’s only allowed mother’s milk for the first 2 years. So when it’s finally time to get off the nipple, mom mixes up a special brew of poohy milky yogurt to feed the growing tyke. Yup, I said it right. She poops and then milks herself to form up the special brew. Let me repeat that one again. She poops and milks herself (pause for some consideration here, you still with me?). So after
Feedin Time
Look at them snappers. Sounds like a thunderclap when you hear them chomp down. taking a poo and mixing in some milk she feeds it to the little koala for about a week or two. (Man, sure am glad I was weaned on coco and not kaka!) This is because she is passing on the special bacteria from her stomach to her baby so in turn the baby can digest the toxic gum leaves. Without these bacteria the koala will not be able to break down gum leaves and would be in a whole world of hurt. So there you have it. Now tell me having mom feed you poohy yogurt for a week or two is not bizarre. Sure would cure me of the nipple in a hurry!
As one author put it, if you want diversity then you need to have a nutrient poor environment. Life is crazy on this subject but there’s no disputing that life does strange things when it’s competing for survival. And therein lays one of the keys of Australia. Certain sections of Australia are known to have over 1500 varieties of wildflowers all in super small region. In contrast to nutrient rich soils in Europe in which only a few species dominate. Coral reefs were likewise
pointed out as another example of this phenomenon. Coral reefs survive under very strict conditions one of those being a nutrient poor environment. All along river mouths you have a nutrient rich environment in which sea grass typically dominates. Coral reefs have incredible diversity and yet can only survive far beyond the mouths of rivers.
And why is that they have large billboard like wooden statues of lobsters, crabs, cheese, rocking horses, and anything else that strikes their fancy? As one guide pointed out to us, Australia is a very big place with many strange things. In between all the strange things is a ton of space, so people build large structures to attract attention. If people stop to stretch their legs then they are likely to buy a soda or sandwich. Thus they will pick something from the local area and build a large statue of it to lure the people in. Makes sense, and we can attest it works.
I still love the saw milled turtle that breathes out of its arse and farts through its skin. Now that’s just odd. Talk about some nasty morning breath!
In Australia you find snakes with enough poison to
kill over 100 people (Fierce Snake ranks #1 but Australia has 5 of the top ten) or 250,000 mice. That’s allot of mice in one bite!
From punks playing bagpipes to endless miles upon miles of pristine beaches we found Australia to be both a luring paradise and an entertaining playground. At times you almost feel like your back home in the southwest U.S. That is until a 6 foot tall rat like humanoid (kangaroo) leaps past your headlights giving you the fright of your life. In the end, it’s the vast wilderness that still lies untouched and unexplored that draws my attention. They say Kimberly is one of the great last wildernesses. Kimberly is a section of Australia comparable to California in size that has a total population of 38,000 with one sealed road. It’s the vast size of Australia combined with is complete sense of isolation and strange adaptations that leads every little corner to be a discovery. Along the west coast of Australia our jaws began to get sore as they dropped in wonder at every stop over along the coast. Amazing skies, amazing water, excellent beaches, and in most cases hardly a soul in sight.
So moving on to save our pocket books some, we have left the bizarre of Oz behind but not unforgotten.
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Steve Waggoner
non-member comment
The Best of OZ
Well, that was an adventure. Love the summary and yes the wombats do look like R.U.S.'s. Loved the reference, "Just walk away, just walk away." So do Ozzies even like ole Mel Gibson or what? So you're off to the orient...or somewhere's there abouts. Taking you're newly acquired "G'day mates" and "No Worries" mixed with home brewed "sup?" and "likes." Of course there's your ocasional Canadian "eh" thrown in with a Texas "all y'all." I can't wait to out what you take away from Singapore. Maybe a little English "What, what" or "spot of tea please." Either way keep up the good work. Love the video and pictures. Keeps the fun going and I greatly enjoy the shared experience. Stay safe and keep having fun. love all y'all Steve