Kunurra - Broom 14 hrs overnight on bus - then more then near disaster

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how can you talk about 36 hours on a bus and make it interesting.

I cant. But I sure can give out shit about the bloody Aboriginal Woman with her, shit and smell infested kids, crying baby, shitty nappies, serious body odour in the seat in front of me.

Do i really have to be subjected to the smell of baby shit in the name of travelling. Is there some health and safety law against it? How can a baby cry so much and kids drule so much on the window and rustle so many plastic bags. Ah yea, possibly the lack of mental stimulis, such as teddies and whatever else you give kids on large transit journeys. Who bloody knows, all i know is they're in front of me, theres a tribe of aboriginals down the back of the bus making plenty of smells of there own and I'm gonna have to grin and bear it. The baby is quite cut in between shitting itself! Ah the miracle of life.

I havent slept in days. I fall asleep and dream of baby shit

The bus stops at Broom, my plan was get out or get stunk out! The lady with the kids gets off at a rest stop before. The flies leave the bus. I try a few hostels in Broom, they're booked out. Broom is a popular backpacker place, I was here for a week in September, and hadnt prebooked either. Ended up in Roes hotel/backpackers. The dorm rooms are strategically place beside the open air night club. Its not uncommon to come back in at the weekend and find your backpack and bed are in opposite positions to where you left them from the bass reverbing through the complex! ** BP TIP prebook hostels always oz is not the place to find the place with the right vib**

Its Friday, i havent slept in days apart from 14 hrs on the bus with the a smell of baby poo! Bugger i've been here, done it, I'm going straight to coral bay and my goal of Whale Sharks and its only 7/8 hours and theres no smell!

Make a quick call to Greyhound, book myself on the bus, its 8am, speak to the lady, she says my time of arrival is 3am. What? 19 hours, eeks!

I rejoin the bus, get my designated apres poo seat. We stop at a servo, for some water. Who gets on? That now familar aroma(s), chorus of gurgling and choking noises and of course swarm of flies come swanning up the isle again. Jesus wept and luco smiles then curses repeatedly.

So here we go, 19 hrs of smells! What a bloody journery ahead! Theres one thing about the oz outback. Its bloody big! The other thing is, although it is fascinating to see so much red, after a while, you´d expect it to look the same! It does and it doesnt! Between bouts of, reading and gazing at the horizon the day passes, and so does my dislike of baby shit! You can see how parents get used to it! Christ am I going mad, I getting used to someone elses crap!

Anyway, the tribe down the back, vacate the bus, in what can only be described as a dirt track heading to nowhere! I see my chance to escape the bag rustling and gaga sounds! I sleep.

We stop briefly at what was formely a rest stop! Now its a burnt out shell of a petrol station, that has see one bush fire too many! We move on to the next. Our pleasant but dim bus driver who announced when he got on the bus that this is first time driving this route and if you could help him out with the correct stops he´ll help us out, (** alarm bells **) announces that we have 30 mins at this rest and these dudes do great sausage rolls! No better man, I´m there!

I eat my sausage roll (8 out 10), overhear the owner being worried how the wind had changed and the current bush fire is doubling back towards this rest stop; have a smoko, 15mins gone. Go to drop the kids off at the pool. Casually saunder out of the dunny, and notice this bright red greyhound bus, exactly like mind, pulling out of the rest stop! ffffffff/&%·$K!

Picture the scene, this Bus stops at Perth (2500km away), i´m in the middle of nowhere, no worldly goods and $5.78 on me, theres a bush fire on the way to do what it did to the previous rest stop and my bus is just pulling onto the highway!

I run like the clappers, Forest Gump style since I wearing thongs (thats flip flops)! By some stroke of fortune the ponker of a bus driver, happens to glance in his mirror just before he puts it into 2nd gear! The bus stops.

Theres alot of things a man could say and do, upon staggering onto a bus that has attempted to leave you behind! Inbetween gasps of air and while nearing falling backwards off the bus, the driver gives me a big ass cheesy grin and says

´lucky i looked in my mirror´

** internal detonation **

i manage to muster .....

´are you for f(/&kin real, what about the head count you f*&kin c&%t´

He then proceeds to stammer that he got confused with the bloody kids, I retort now in full wheres my goddamn gun mode, ´f*%kin think a mother is gonna forget her f&%kin kids u tit, count the f&/kin paying passengers´!

At that I retire, admid sheepish smiles from the paying safely on the bus fellow passengers, to the back of the bus! Bloody Karma. Shouldnt have slagged off those kids!

I make it to Coral Bay 15 hrs later. The next bus driver got lost twice en route, go Greyhound! Quality.

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