title schmytle

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Day 10
I’ve never felt such furious, crimson, hateful, spiteful, deep-seated, self-righteous, unsexy, uninspired, unfounded anger as I have this past week. If you’ve even the slightest predisposition or tendency to anger in your bones (or even any emotional imbalance for that matter) I share with you my strongest recommendation to NOT participate in any detoxing of one’s liver in the presence of any potentially antagonising, triggering, disturbing, discomfort. You would be doing your soul and self an immense disservice should you underestimate my words of warning. Nobody should have to experience this self-defeating, deadening sense of purgatory - caught between somewhere and nowhere…
On the upside of it all, at least this is only to weeks of my life. Question is, is it over? Will I break on through to the other side, to the light at the end of the tunnel? And, how will I know what feelings from this moment on, are authentic and justified? Yes, I will know; just as I know now, they’re not. It gets to this moment… I know I’ve been childishly self-absorbed, and irrational, creating spaghetti out of a little injured, imperfect (there’s a paradox!) wheat flower… I look at it, him… I don’t know how to feel, to get out of this. Sure, it’s the ugly ego now. Even my inner spoilt little girl can admit that. So I swallow my pride (ironically the very seed that sprouted and fuelled this massacre of love) and get on with it…

March 18th
Day 11 - my last self-restricting ‘fast’ day, yet 4 more to go with herbs and simple fruits/juices/smoothies, to ease the digestion back into ‘normality’. But ahh I’ve been storing up all the smoothie recipes along the way - mamey sapote (pink), mango (orange), jakfruit (yellow), banana (creamy white) ooh yeaah!! Strangely tastes like strawberry.

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