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Published: July 30th 2013
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Well now, we seem to have gone upmarket for the day. It was the 27
thof June and we awoke very early from another slightly uncomfortable slumber to another gorgeous winter day in the tropics for my slightly early birthday treat. We were picked up outside Flametree Tourist Park, our campsite for 2 nights by a coach and taken to the Abel Point marina 5 minutes down the road from Airlie Beach. There we set eyes on our vessel for the day, the “iconic symbol of the Whitsundays” if you believed the brochure. The “Camira” is one of the fastest commercial catamarans in the world. It is also purple.
After boarding we got chatting to a couple from Manchester who were over for the Lions tour but having a proper holiday as well. They became our default companions as we discovered that he was an engineer at BAE as well, so we enjoyed spending the time chatting rugby, planes, cars and travelling. You may by this point in our travel correspondence, notice that we tend to go on the same tours and befriend middle aged people. The reason for this is that we are secretly middle aged. When researching our options
in Sydney we were offered the choice of several party boats with 82 passengers. Not our cup of tea. Much as I enjoy a shindig, a dance and the occasional beverage, I tend not to get along with the people who consider this their vocation and sole purpose in life.
However, I digress. After about an hour, which was much colder and windier than anticipated, we reached a waypoint for the voyage. Snorkelling. I will at this point make a couple of things clear, I have never been snorkelling before in my life however, I am familiar with the concept: look at things under the water whilst breathing through a plastic tube which remains above the water (source: OED). Despite the former, Amelia decided to volunteer me in the “advanced” group, as I was to be her buddy. Feeling fraudulent, I thought in true Top Gear style, “how hard can it be?” Things did not go well for me. No drowning occurred, but I could not get the hang of this snorkelling lark. My basic instincts told me, “Andrew, your face with your breathing anatomy is in the water. Do not attempt breathing.” When I tried to override this
sound survival technique, things got confused and I ended up with a lung full of salty water, which in turn did not help with the face underwater situation. I persevered however, and eventually got the hang of it, rewarded with the sighting of at least several fish, and some coral.
I escaped the trauma of snorkelling and got back on the boat and had a complementary lemonade to deal with the nausea brought on by inhaling some of the Pacific Ocean. Then, joy of joys, the crew, as if sensing my distress, announced the presence of morning tea. Tea, biscuits and chocolate soothed my fevered brow and all was well with the world again. The boat then started moving again, this time towards a much less arduous destination: Whitehaven beach.
Consistently ranked in the worlds top 5 beaches, this gorgeous ribbon or white sandy perfection does not disappoint. That's not quoted from a brochure in Thomas Cook, the sand is so fine that it exfoliates and softens skin and polishes any jewellery you leave on it. Naturally the first thing Amelia did on it was build a sandcastle, complete with impenetrable moat, bridge and stone defences. Its' complex
construction verily cast shame upon all the other castles on the beach, built by mere amateurs/5 year olds.
Once back on the boat, it was lunch time consisting of the usual fare, salad, pasta, and a huge pile of BBQ steak, chicken and fish. Oh, and this is also when the free bar opened. Ok, so the “free bar” was actually a massive cool box full of ice, but the beer and wine within were free all day and limitless. I'll try not to overstate how good this was, but flashbacks of the great Ha Long Bay swindle of 2013 were still fresh in our minds, so we were delighted with how well things had turned out, and made full use of the facility. After I finished my third delicious plate of lunch, I realised that too much had been eaten and forced myself to stop. It's a hard life.
After lunch it was the start of the long cruise back to Abel Point, so we resumed chatting to our fellow passengers and admired the stunning islands we passed, including Hamilton Island where Elton John and George Harrison have (and had) houses. I'll let the pictures do the
talking for the rest of it. After we were dropped back at the harbour, our coach was once again waiting for us to take us back to our campsite and a well earned shower. Bliss.
The next day was my actual birthday, and was much more mundane, but you can't have everything. We woke up as usual and had breakfast (Weetabix with honey for me), then Dana, our slightly nuts neighbour offered to make us pancakes as a birthday treat. I grudgingly accepted. In the absence of Nutella, we melted some dark chocolate and spread that on the pancakes. We bade farewell to Dana and Montana and made a start for our next campsite, near Townsville. A tip for anyone driving in Australia: always fill up with Unleaded E10. It's much cheaper and works just as well, unless you're driving a diesel car. As it was my birthday, I would be driving less, and Amelia took the wheel until we got to a town called Ayr for lunch. We were going to have a special birthday lunch there, but upon closer inspection, this was a long shot. We arrived around 2pm and there were 2 bars in town, and
both might as well have had signs saying “Locals only: No Vest, No Service”, and none of the cafe/restaurants was any good. So I decided that I would settle for a burger and coke in one of the bars, maybe on the off chance that they would have something interesting like kangaroo or emu burgers. Tentatively we walked in, hoping that my by now very bushy beard would make up for the fact that I was wearing a shirt, not a vest. Food was off. Annoyed, we went to Subway, and consoled ourselves by buying chocolate cake, brie and wine for dinner.
Our rest stop for the night was Saunders Beach, a picturesque spot 2km off the Bruce Highway. In fact it was so picturesque, by the time we got there it was almost completely full. This meant that we had to park directly in front of the no camping signs, in front of the bins. Happy birthday to me.
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