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Published: July 21st 2017
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Jim Jim Falls
Such large falls they named them twice You have to try hard to get lost in The Northern Territory. Roads are few, people equally so and traffic jams are an unknown concept. But with the right skill set it is still possible to wander off track. We have that requisite skill set but what we have learnt after a couple of episodes up here is you don't ask a local to get you back on the straight and narrow. It's like getting robbed in a country where corruption is sewn into the national DNA, where the last person you want to call is the police unless you fancy being fleeced a second time.
Heading north from Katherine on The Stuart Highway, the Kakadu turnoff "can't be missed". Unless of course:
The Historic Tourism Loop through Pine Creek was too much for us to resist, what with Penny itching for her caffeine hit and the detour barely nudging 3 klms. Just another in our litany of "what could possibly go wrong" moments.
Turns out the Pine Creek Historic Tourism Loop was heavy on the loop but a little light on the history and tourism. Even Penny's coffee would struggle desperately for market share in Melbourne's laneways.
What the loop did achieve was (unbeknownst to us) to divert us around that "can't be missed Kakadu turnoff".
Back on the Stuart Highway and another 10 clicks north and we were debating 2 options:
(a)our map was shy on scale accurateness, or
(b)was that turnoff neatly wedged between the entrance and exit of the Pine Creek Historic Tourism Loop.
A further 10 kms down and option (b) had firmed to short priced favourite. We were preparing for a U-turn when we spotted a couple of blokes parked by the side of the road and chewing the fat.
Their 4x4s were covered top to bottom in The Top End's finest red dirt and they sported NT number plates. The two gents themselves had that cowcocky demeanour of guys ill-at-ease with the man hug - crusty defined. They looked as though they could walk into any outback pub and without prompting, the barmaid would serve them "the usual". Surely they would know this region like the back of their akubras. Let's go to the script.
Director: "And Action"!
Lost tourists: "Excuse me fellas, which way is the Kakadu turnoff please?"
Here's where a
rib-tickling film sketch would require about 10 takes to get the timing juuuuust right. The director would love these 2 guys. Nailed it in one without trying.
Cowcockies 1 and 2: "That way", in perfect unison and pointing in opposite directions. Look at each other, giggle and 2 seconds later"
Cowcockies 1 and 2: "No, that way", again in perfect unison and both in the opposite direction to their first attempt. More chuckling and time for cowcocky 1 to take the reins.
Cowcocky 1: "I think you can go either way".
Lost tourists: "Which way is closer"?
Cowcocky 1: "Not real sure mate. Toss a coin".
Lost tourists: "Thanks. I think we'll head back".
Cowcocky 1: "No problems. Good luck".
Director: "And CUT! Well done team. That's a wrap."
Anyways, we did eventually find our "can't be missed" intersection and subsequently spent 4 or 5 wonderful days lumbering through Australia's largest national park before winding up in Darwin, the state's largest village. It was here where our penchant for getting lost came back to the fore.
Ignoring the scar tissue of our Kakadu detour, we continued to ask locals for
assistance which in the end became fun just for the amusing pearls of local wisdom we would receive. Some examples? Why not.
"Get off at the third bus stop and look for that place that used to sell donuts then it's only a couple of hundred metres from there".
"Walk 3 blocks that way and look for a letterbox in the shape of a wombat. Flo lives there. She'll know what you are looking for".
These folks are laid back to the point of asleep while they are awake.
The Top End is a Top Shelf destination. The winter weather is the stuff of dreams and the outdoor activities along with high end aesthetics are on tap. While not Melbourne or Sydney, Darwin has some frayed-around-the-edges groove and the lifestyle is a crash course in being grounded with no intentions of remodelling itself. Just remember to throw in the google maps with your toothbrush in your travel survival kit.
More images:
http://colvinyeates.zenfolio.com/p22382388
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D MJ Binkley
Dave and Merry Jo Binkley
Beautiful scenery
Nice photo