I can pick myself up

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It was night and the deserded street in front of me in the heart of sydney gave a sad impression. While i was walking down this street i realised that this is nothing for me. I'm not the kind of guy that walks, travels or lives alone. It suddenly hit me right there and then while the moon light gazed on me, a lonely soul, that i did not wanted to be alone. I felt a feeling that i remember only from when my heart is broken. Many will say i dont even know how that feels. From my point of view, i have in a probably smal way felt that particular feeling. The feeling that a part of you is missing. The feeling that a emty void needs to be filled. I felt like the street in front of me. In day time it is filled with people and at night he is alone. I felt a feeling i left everybody behind. I had the feeling that i abandoned my friends and family. Slowly i felt my eye's filling with water and i realised gravity got the better of me when my knees fell to the ground. Hard, cold and dirty. I felt the same way, hardend by being alone and trying not to be hurt emotionally, cold because of the lack of warmth normally profited by my family and friends and dirty because i left my friend and family behind and i felt regret for that. I felt like a broken man, heart ripped out by life and thrown on the street. I looked at the street still empty and i was still alone. What to do. Then i realised two things. I remembered something from batman: begins "why do we fall"? "To pick ourselves up and learn from the experience"! The other thing i remembered helped a bit more. My father said to me "if you've sunk to the bottom and can't find a way out, you can always call me where ever you are in the world". I knew i did not wanted to call him. I wanted to get myself out of this. But the fact that he was close felt great. I closed my eye's and tried to stand up again, which was harder then you might think. When i succeeded i opened my eye's. I felt better! The street felt warm despite the cold wind, my family and friends felt close despite the distance and i felt a warm feeling in my chest. Love.

Hello again,
Yes two blogs in two days is almost amazing but since cairns i did not only got kicked out of my house. The experience you just read about in the long piece of text is true. every word of it happened and is something i felt. I am not that good in putting my feelings in words so i did the best i could. I feel proud i could pick myself up again and walk on with my chin high. (Note: Yes i really fell to the ground, i know its dramatic but it happened.)

Worry not i also had fun stuff going on! On friday last week i went to the Löwenbräu keller. A German restaurant with a specialty in snitzel and BEER. Piere and i didn't want to over do it so we took 0.5 litre pint of Löwenbräu beer. The food was brilliant and the beer did not taste like bread! On the contrary, i loved the beer so much i went for another pint! Since that beer i drink all kinds of the stuff and start to enjoy it more and more. But i still get stuck with the bread like beers. Ya know the ones with a grain taste to it. Well for me that makes sence.

The next day on saterday we had a rather special day. We went wine tasting in Huntervalley. A day filled with red, white, rose and dessert wines. On top of that, we also did a liquer, port and beer tasting. The beer was not that great, i drank all of it but i felled like i was on a picknick and the bread had sand on it. Several Wines were suprisingly good but what struck me as odd was the port. I drank it mayby 5 times (i think) and hated the stuff but this was so nice. Smooth, soft and addictive. So after two other glasses (yes this was the first wine house and no we did not ate that much yet, but the guy there was awesome enough to give us a special tastes of some specials, he was our age). I even asked for a wine from 1992 because that was so impossible to get and after an Indiana jones like adventure in the cellar (no bolders but there was 1 spider) we found 1 bottle (between thousands of other bottles) from my birth year 1992. I was so suprised by this. It is nowadays almost common knowledge that 1992 was a very bad year for wine.

Anyway, after that we had alot of hot dogs and where on our way to the beer tasting........ .... .. . After that we went to another wine house. This one was more mass productive because they made alot for export. Less awesome then the first one means....... .... .. . In the final stage of our day we did a liquer tasting. Liqeur is in my memory bitter stuff that you only put down your throat if you wanna get drunk, or when you're me. Put this was not bitter nor alcohol like. This stuff was sweet. I do not like candy or very sweet things. Thus meaning i did not like there butterscots liquer. I like cofffee but liking coffe does not mean you like everything with a strong coffee taste so i didn't like there version of Tia Maria (Thea Maria) either. I'm not even going to start about there impression of baileys cause it was more like Baileys cordial mixed with alot of water. But there was still there specialty. The reason the whole thing isn't bankrupt probably. The ace up the sleeve was the Dragons Breath. It was the same butterscots stuff mixed with another thing and then with red hot peppers in it. This one was the nicest since you could NOT taste it. It is made to shut down youre ability for taste. The name DRAGONS BREATH ofcourse is linked to fire but god damn. Water did not help and there were no mint leaves to help me here. Then at the same time to finish the tasting he presented us with there hot saus and i tried it on a piece of toast.

I fell to the ground because it was so hot. Nothing to do against it then wait. Piere tried to help me up But no.
I learned how to stand up by myself! I can do this alone. I put one foot on the floor and the other next to it and stood up. This time the problem (my mouth, which if i opened it could be used as a flashlight) was not gone. Put i can stand up and face a problem head first. (Sounds pretty awesome but this part is not true at all)

Somewhere between monday and friday this week i will have to do my speaking exam and next weekend i wil have another new experience that will be awesome. I'll not spoil what it is (yes a cliffhanger in my blog, MWAHAHHAA). I can assure you that when i fall this time i will get up again and i know that i can count on my friends or do it on my own when needed. The feeling of having something close while not being close feels weird and a bit unnatural for me. But important is one thing. I can pick myself up.

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Comments

[suparna]

Nice Blog
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