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Published: April 9th 2007
Bondi
Shez, Jenny & Andy on his old beat. I can think of
nothing worse than people getting facts wrong about a place on a travel blog. How difficult is it to do a bit of research? So here are my top ten Sydney facts:
Sydney was discovered in 1852 by Sir Sydney De Mimsey (the great, great grandfather to Sir Garfield De Mimsey, the current Earl of Basildon) who named it after himself.
Sydney Opera House is the worlds largest opera house that is shaped
exactly like Sydney Opera House.
Sydney is home to the world famous Esky, the iconic Aussie cool box. Invented by Bruce Esky in 1952, the first ones were made out of lead, concrete, cork and baby Koala bear fur, weighed 1.3 tonnes and could only keep one "tinnie" cool for 20 minutes. The modern Esky can keep 1,200 cans of beer at sub-zero temperatures for over three weeks.
Before the construction of the world famous Sydney Harbour Bridge in 1931, in order to cross the bay, the good people of the city had to run across the backs of crocodiles like Roger Moore did in "Live and Let Die".
World Tower View
Our modest view. There are no gay people in Sydney, especially not around Oxford Street.
From the air, Sydney is exactly the same shape as Belgium.
Sydney Harbour Bridge is the world's biggest bridge. From the top on a clear day you can see Ayres Rock, Fiji and the South Pole.
12%!o(MISSING)f Sydney's population consists of soap dodging, middle class British backpackers who have like, totally found their spiritual self after seeing one temple on one jungle trek in Thailand but have decided that they'll spend the last 11 months and 25 days of their gap year in a country with proper toilets where they can get "real, ethnic food" - i.e. a kebab that won't give them amoebic dysentery.
Rolf Harris was given the keys to Sydney in 1997, but after the subsequent celebrations he dropped them down a drain.
Sydney is the only major city in the world to have a written contingency plan in the event of hoards of the undead rising. Unfortunately the plan involves drinking a lot of beer and running zombies over with a rusty Holden Ute.
World Tower As a special
Take it to the bridge
Noboby knows how many copper bolts were crimped, nor how many feet of cable laid during its construction. treat and to celebrate me and Shez getting out of their hair, Andy & Jenny booked us all into the world Tower, a 77 storey complex with shops, restaurants, serviced apartments, specialist Asian porn shops and other leisure outlets. We had a very nice apartment on the 65 floor. If I say so myself, the photos are pretty good, but not nearly as good as in real life, especially with a a bottle of the Hunter Valley's best slipping down a treat.
I may not have mentioned it, but Andy is one of NSW's Boys in Blue, so the whole city is really his patch. One of his first assignments was Bondi Beach where he was on the Bike Patrol Squad. You can only do a couple of years on that job, in much the same way that there are occupational exposure limits for ionising radiation, solvent fumes, dust and the like, they have had to implement limits on the amount of pert, tanned breasts you can look at, a genuine hazard. Officers who spent too long on the beat there were suffering with eye strain, neck swivel fatigue and over-developed wrist muscles. But that is Andy down to
Stairs
I am the Lord o' Steps! the ground, personal sacrifice for the greater good.
So that was that, although it seemed like we'd been there ages it was all over in a flash and time to go and we were headed back to the airport. I could tell they were sad to see us go by the way they were grinning, obviously covering up their feelings of sadness for our sake. But worry ye not, much like the flashbacks of
Bunny Hollow that cause you to wake up screaming in the small hours of the morning, we will be back.
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Sister Justin
non-member comment
Keep them coming
And where are the fox shaped shit pods of Sydney Park adjoining the opera house.?? Keep the pictures and fun coming.