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As I read a former coworker's blog about corruption and injustice in Honduras, I began to reflect on my time there but even more so, the time I have spent back in the states. Growing up, I was quite possibly the most optimistic, idealistic child you could have ever met. After university, with a degree in cultural anthropology, I was ready to take on the world. Two years of working at Head Start (preschool program for children from low income families and children with disabilities) and I still thought I was making a difference. Honduras definitely took some of that fight out of me, but it has been my time back that has made me realize that just as much corruption and injustice takes place here. We are just better at hiding it from the world.
Madison, Wisconsin: Always ranked in the top 100 mid-sized cities to live in the United States and usually ranked in the top 25 for the healthiest places to live. If this is the best of the best, thinking about the rest of the country zaps any energy I have left at the end of the day.
Working with such amazing preschoolers from low income backgrounds, I always think "This is the one that is going to make it. This is the one who is going to prove the statistics wrong." but then I get a taste of what it is like to live in their world. In Honduras, a person was shot and killed just a few blocks from the school I taught at. Here, a person was shot in the park where many of the kids I work with go to play. Swinging on the swings at that same park with one of the little munchkins, he commented, "Teacher, look at them guys. Over there. Them selling drugs." It was true. I take many of my kids on walks when I visit their homes just so that they can be outside. It takes more than one hand to count the number of times I have seen illegal substances and money changing hands. So, this is the environment that they grow up in. Luckily for some of them, they have a parent that thinks they are the most special thing in the world. I know I do. So, what, then, happens when they are taken out of their environment?
I took two of the children I work with to Dream Park, a big castle like structure with brigdes and slides and things to climb and swing on. On the way there, the conversation changed from the color of cars we saw passing us to one little guy's worry about going to the park. "Teacher, they goin to stare at us." "Who, honey? The people in the cars?" "No. The people at the park." "Why are they going to stare at you?" "My mama said that I have to be nice even if people stare at me." It was about here that I realized where this was going. "I bet they're going to be staring at you because you guys are so cute." "No, teacher, because we is black." How could I have been so naive? And the truth is, at a park where they were the only non-white children there, people did stare. Parents moved their children closer when, two of the gentlest little boys in the world, came to play by them. Not to say that it was universal. The boys had a great time running around and playing with some of the other children there. What a thing to worry about at the age of 5, though. One of the top 100 best places to live for whom?
Did you know Madison also has some of the best hospitals in the country? Let's take a look at the University of Wisconsin Hospital. A hospital that has received numerous awards for patient care. A hospital that has a nurse that was hell bent on taking a child away from the remainder of her family after her guardian was put on life support. A nurse that knew very little about the family. A nurse that did not take into account that we are not all lucky enough to be able to have a babysitter, it is very difficult to go home and get food, diapers and a shower if you don't have transportation and you can't afford public transportation, and on top of it all, that a family had just lost the glue that had held it together. Bravo, University of Wisconsin Medical Center, for such compassion and excellent patient care for those families on medical assistance. Like I said though, its one of the best. The family should feel lucky that they don't live in California, right? Where they dump uninsured parapalegic patients by the side of the road.
So, living in one of the best cities in the wealthiest nation in the world, I am sickened by the fact that this is as good as it gets, that we are lucky to have government programs that put band aids over gaping wounds. I think so many people get into social welfare work to make a difference, but the difference they are hoping to make is to create a world without the scenarios I previously described. Its enough to make anyone burn out. I am on the verge. I am no longer the eternal optimist, super idealistic person I once was.
However, I don't see that as problematic. There is nothing wrong with seeing the world for what it really is. And for all the injustice that I have seen, I've also seen a child learn how to write his name, a mom smile because her child painted her a picture at school, a child see the world in a whole new way after being able to get glasses, a parent being able to have someone to talk to about how to help her child get ready for kindergarten, and a child telling a story about the time his dad took him bowling. Its in the small things.
I've seen people try to change the lives of others. But all we can really do is help give people the tools they need to do it. The choice is theirs to make. I have come to terms with the fact that the differences I make cannot be seen on the large scale. Perhaps they only last for one hour, once a week and the only person that sees them is the child that I am working with. That's okay with me. In that one hour, that child has probably taught me more about myself and how I view the world than I could ever hope to teach them in a lifetime.
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Sarah Willett
Well said Jenna. Thanks.