What the hell is that noise.


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Published: April 17th 2010
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Well today, were just trying to untangle all the possibilities in front of us. jeremiah putt a call into julia at the conserviters center in burlington, nc. its some kind of big cat rescue/ zoo/ wildlife refuge. from what i understand they require a lot of training, but due to our inherent radness, and their lack of staff, they may be willing to overlook our lack of experiance.

How does one recieve experiance with lions? furthermore, what assistance will that training be when the lion snags your leg with his GI Joe kung-fu grip? Training tip #1 never approach lion without a bull whip and a chair. Tip #2 If one cannot find either, keep several animal crackers in your pocket, when the lion attacks toss cookies in his face to disorient him with there life-like animal shapes. Tip#3 Never Ever Ever let bobby near a lion, odds are one isnt coming out alive.

Anyway, mike took us out for mexican last nite and we ate and ate until i finished everyones food. JoDan and i both knew what was coming, it wasnt going to be pretty. i thought i could make it to morning before doing the deed, i thought wrong. must have been 4 in the morning, i crammed myself into the closet we call our bathroom and took care of business. actually wasnt all that bad. but anyway after i went back to bed i heard some kind of rustling outside, which i assumed was kat leaving for work. butas the noises persisted with such a bizarre rythm, i determined i should peek out to see what the hell it was. peering through the shade i saw to cats surrounding a sand piper. the stupid bird was stuck trying to fly through the closed garage door. it was obviously injured as the door was graffitied with its blood. so after a few moments of considering letting nature take its course, i decided the cats had no real ability to kill the bird and were content to simply scare it to death. this would undoubtetly take hours and i decided to spring into action. so i went outside and scared of the cats, then attempted to shoo the bird off into the wilderness. the dumb bastard slammed into the garage again then ran up the sidewalk and slammed into mikes front door. then mike, thinking i was outside having some kind of coniption, opens the front door only to have the bird run over his foot and into the house scaring the bejesus out of him first god damb thing in the morning. so we corner the bastard in the house and i nab him up with a towel and release him in a safe location outside. the lousy bird runs, flys over a fence and slamms into the nieghbors shed. i give up and instruct the bird to go play in traffic, im going back to bed.

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