Its almost the end...but it cant come quickly enough!

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Am really tired and not making much sense at all now so apologies for anything which makes no sense or is spelt incorrectly.
Last big camp has finished and the campers have gone home. Had 2 days of cleaning which was difficult due to how boring cleaning is and how i have not only the farm to clean but the nature lodge and my cabin. It wasnt a fun time as im sure a lot of people who really kno me will understand as i am not a naturally clean person...basically i think there is more to life than cleaning...like sleeping...that would be nice at the moment.

Not long now till i leave...leaving this camp on the 10th and will be the 3rd international staff member to leave. The first one left yesterday and the 2nd one leaves on saturday. They are harder to say goodbye to than the american staff as we tend to spend a lot of our time together in breaks due to lack of transportation and places to go. Wallmart and the mall has united us...as well as our inability to live the american life.
Went out for a little outing to an arcade the other day after the kids went home. The games bored me really quickly so we went wandering around the small mall which was attached and i tried dipin dots for the first time (kinda like icecream but in very little balls). Also tried on a few dresses and bought two for the presentation which followed at night.
Had a leaving doo for the majoirty of the staff where we were given the staff photo, yearbook and superlavtives (su-per-la-tives...not super-latives as i thought). I won 2 awards :D i got Best encourager and Best listener! Woop! Most people didnt even won one or were even mentioned in nominations and i was blessed to get the most votes twice! Plus when the best encourager category was announced a lot of people were shouting out my name so that must mean that it really was the majority and that people really noticed my efforts in this area.

So Postcamp has started which is basically when we do smaller camp sessions with less campers and they are different set ups. There is about half the original staff here now and a few people have been assigned different jobs like maintance, housekeeping, laundry and dinning hall instead of being councelors. I am still nature and also dinning hall...not overly enthusiastic about this tho cos i am kinda sick of the animals and want a change...think this is more to do with tiredness and complete lack of enthusiasm.

I seriously am having problems with negative thinking at the moment. I kno its not long before i go and meet up with my family but i really want to go now. Yesterday i went pretty much back to my misrable self almost crying...well acutally crying but doing it unnoticed several times. Its all this thinking im doing. I wish someone could just erase my mind of all my negativity and tiredness. Im so tired of thinking so much. I have the skill of self-distruction!

Really missing u guys and wish i cud b wid u.
Prayer would be appreciated!
Hope everyone is ok and enjoying the UK whateva the weather!

Little note: Happy bday Faye (for yesterday)!

Luvs!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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